Just Another Mate
by HuonParticlesAreHarmless
Summary: It was supposed to be just a normal night. Man, was I really wrong. I landed in the TARDIS from a parallel universe where all this was a TV show. At least I don't need to go to the gym, ever. Did I mention I'm a Time Lord? Must of slipped my mind. When reviewing, please be constructive. Rated M for paranoia and ungodly amount of sex scenes...Just kidding...I wonder though..
1. Spacegirl say: What?

_Italics are either thoughts or telepathic conversations._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or its characters. I think I own Jamie, but don't tell her I said that. Her punches hurt.**

* * *

_Walking home alone was another way of telling the world that I can never be loved._ Okay maybe a little dramatic, but what's life without the little theatrics?

Another day at college in for the books, and now I'll be able to watch my favorite season of Doctor Who, Donna Noble and Ten. What should I watch? They all seem very interesting.

My musing are cut short as I approach the door for residence hall, I fish out the keycard for the door and my id for the desk security. _Almost to home base, _I thought.

The lift was—the LIFT? Wow I really watch too much British television… Anyway, the _elevator _was uneventful as it always is and stops at the 9th floor. Walking to my room, my musings from before come back to the forefront of my mind. _What if I was suddenly landed in the TARDIS through a crack in my laptop or something equally ridiculous? _I giggle to myself; unfortunately the long hallway kind of amplified that sound. So it sounded like a maniacal laughter coming back from the echo. _So much for making new friends._

I then opened my door thanking the heavens that I no longer have a roommate. I quickly get into my sleep clothes, because I know for sure I'm not going out anyway. Well at least nowhere exciting. Or so I thought.

I was finishing Partners In Crime with Ten and Donna, when my microwave went off. I get up to get my early dinner of pizza rolls from the microwave and ice tea from the fridge. _It goes 'Ding' when there's stuff. Oh Ten, you make me feel too geeky for my own good._

As I was going back to my bed where my laptop and said episode was coming to a close when I noticed that there was a glowing jagged line across it. When I looked closer for further inspection, it suddenly clicked. So my next move was to be utterly useless and question the crazy-dangerous-line-of-erasing-myself-from-this-universe-of-death-ish. And it went a little something like this: _WHAT? This can't be happening. ISN'T THAT SCIENTIFICALLY IMPROBABLE? I say improbable, because Doctor Who has kind of made that word useless in the English dictionary._

Apparently, when everyone else was passing the fight or flight test, I was that one dumbass that did nothing; or more or less just observed.

_I really should get the hell out of here or else I'll be erased from time and become just like Rory except maybe not Roman. Probably should be running instead of just-_

That thought was cut off as I was pulled by the crack with it's wispy tendrils and try as I might, nothing I did was letting me out of it's grip but just making it stronger the more I struggled.

I screamed, I yelled as I was dragged in to the Crack. It felt like I was being thrown into Mt. Vesuvius on volcano day and then dunked into the waters of Antarctica with subzero temperatures. I then proceeded to taste bananas, hear yodeling (don't ask me why, I just thought that's what it sounded like), and the smell of roasted turkey. The sensations were just all over the place.

Then all of a sudden everything just stopped and was replaced with a gentle hum and face first on a cool metal grating with a resounding _THUD_. _I wonder if that's how it feels to regenerate. Ugh, my body. _

"What?!" was the first and horribly familiar voice to cut through my semi-paralyzed state. _If I think hard enough I'll wake up from this very vivid dream._

No such luck. So instead of just lying there on the TARDIS floor, I picked myself up, rather clumsily, and looked at my surrounding. Listening for the inevitable myriad of 'what's' from the Doctor. Ooooh, Donna and Ten! Wait, how the hell did I get here? I thought the cracks were from the 11th doctor's time?

I continued to just stand there and taking in that I'm no longer in my room but in the console room of the TARDIS during the 4th series. Damn British vernacular.

"Oi! How hell did you get here? And who are you?" Donna said walking away from the console towards me, slightly/a lot threateningly.

"Um… Ah… Don't know… Weeelllll, I have an idea. Jamie Evelyn Reyes Diaz Dominguez by the way," I said smiling with my megawatt grin holding out my hand. Great to know I still have my speaking skills.

"Wow, that's a mouthful… I'll just call you... Jamie. If you don't mind."

"None at all, the name comes with a territory. I'm Filipino, so that's why I have a long-ass name. On my birth certificate, it says 'to be continued.'"

She snorts at the lame joke and shakes my hand. "Donna. Donna Noble and the genius over there having a mental breakdown, his name is the Doctor."

"Yeah, okay. Seems legit enough-" I get cut off by the Doctor scanning me with his sonic screwdriver. I stiffen and try to remain calm as not to get too excited.

He frowns. A frown with the Doctor is never a good thing. Crap.

"So find anything, Spaceman?" Donna asks as I am 'scanned.'

"She doesn't make any sense. It's says she's-she's a Time Lord."

What.

What?

_What?_

"_WHAT?_" I yelped. Good, my brain sort of works.

"Well, it says here you have a binary vascular system and the regenerative energy…" He said.

"Are you saying that I'm not human anymore?" I said trying to keep a level tone but failing.

"Well, technically my sonic says you were never human to begin with."

"Great, _that's_ reassuring," sarcasm dripping from my voice.

I suddenly feel a rather painful jolt to my system and my knees give to the pain. But the Doctor catches me before I make it half way to the ground. I clutch my stomach as golden wisps escape my mouth. Oooh, pretty. Hey! Stay focused! You're still 'cooking' as the Doctor said it-will say. Tenses are stupid in time machine.

"Ugh. What the hell… What's happening?" I said grimacing from the pain.

"It seems that from where ever you've come from, you've just regenerated." He says softly.

He guides me toward the jump seat and Donna follows. "What do you mean regenerated? I can't… I really can't… I mean that's not possible where I come from…"

"Where do you come from?" Donna asked motherly. Is that an adjective? It is now.

"I came… I came from a parallel universe… where this is all a show…" I say haltingly. God, can this post regeneration trauma end already? I would really like to have my motor skills again.

And of course the Doctor has to contradict what's already in front of him.

"But that's not possible. The walls were closed off, nothing can get in and out from each universe without the a total event collapse!" He shouted. Making me jump from being startled. I whacked him on the arm for said action.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"That was for giving me heart attack." I snapped. This man is just too damn hyperactive. "Getting back to the topic at hand, of course it's possible, it just happened. I was there." I said pointing to myself.

"Prove it." Donna proposed.

"What?" I say confused.

"Yeah, prove it. Prove that you're not lying to us and for you just to steal my TARDIS." The Doctor agreed.

I think. I could spout all the facts about him. Or I could embarrass him. Weighing out the options, embarrassment it is. I grin.

"Do you think _Sexy_ would like that very much?" I say smiling and tilting my head from 'confusion.' "Oh yeah, I know. The boy and _his _box."

The Doctor begins blushing, hitting my target right on the nail. And he begins to sputter nonsense around the console room and then toying with the console itself, but Donna cuts him off from further embarrassment. He then decides to just stand near Donna, trying to regain his composure.

"And what about me, Sunshine? Am I important?" She asked pointedly.

I motion for her sit next to me. After a moment of hesitation, she agrees. I take her hands and begin to 'prove it.'

"Donna Noble. The temp from Chiswick. Super Temp at that." I said with glee. "An oppressive mother named Sylvia Noble and an adoring grandfather named Wilfred Mott… Donna, you think you aren't smart, but you are. You see things that most people, including this knuckle head," I point to the Doctor, "miss because you are a just brilliant! Not only that, you're gorgeous and ginger."

"I… I don't know what to say," she said softly.

I snort. "Well, that's a first." I mumbled.

She playfully whacks me up side the head.

"Hey! I just complimented you. I thought that deserves a hug, not violence against children!" I mockingly scold her. She invites me with open arms.

Damn she gives really good hugs. I just want to stay nestled in her arms, sort of a protective cocoon of comfort and love. We pull apart.

"Thank you, I really mean it." Donna said with sincerity. "No one really says nice things about me. Although, the gorgeous part might be stretching it a bit."

"Donna, you have to know this about me." I say looking into her eyes. "When I compliment someone, it's done with sincerity and without guile. I really do believe you are gorgeous. So take the goddamn compliment!"

She was blushing furiously and averted her eyes from mine. Oh this is going to be fun.

"And before either of you asks, yes I am bisexual. I am not overtly flirtatious; I might be only a little flirty here and there. But only it's only to my friends." I then looked to the Doctor for emphasis. "So no, I am NOT Captain Jack Harkness. Okay? Okay."

Silence fell in the room and the only sounds were coming from the hum of the time rotor.

"So…" I awkwardly began.

"I think I'll get myself a cup of tea and get some sleep before I go into a regenerative coma," I said walking away.

"Are you sure you should be up and about?" Donna asked halting me.

"We can get the tea for you," The Doctor offered.

"No it's fine and I need to gather my thoughts anyway," I said then adding conspiratorially. "Plus you'll be able to talk behind my back about my evil schemes about trying to steal Sexy."

Walking away, I distinctly heard an 'I like her' and a 'That's because she adores you.' I chuckled and continued with my mission of Operation Not-Going-Into-A-Coma.

* * *

While in the corridors for only a few minutes when the kitchen door appears. I pat the wall appreciatively.

'_Thank you, Sexy.' _I said to the TARDIS.

'_You're welcome Jamie.' _She said back to me.

'_Wow, really didn't think that would work. Well… I mean for you to answer back.' _I respond in surprise.

'_Jamie, you have made my Thief very happy that he is no longer alone. Therefore I must thank you personally.' _The TARDIS said with all her sincerity.

I walk in the middle of the room and I just plop myself in to a chair

'_You're welcome for whatever I have done. But seriously, it's not as if I came here out of my own free will. I mean it is pretty cool to be here and all. Maybe the constant imminent doom is kind of clouding my reverie. But I guess it's the thought that counts.' _I say before I ask and maybe begging politely. '_Is it possible for you to make the tea for me? I think my body is about to give.' _

'_Anything for my Guardian.'_

A mug materializes in front of my eyes which is slightly steaming and yet at the right temperature. Mmmm… A cup of tea always makes people better and this is no different. I feel my body beginning to relax and the pain just ebbs away. I then feel my strength returning exponentially. Now _that's_ what I call a good cup of tea.

'_Thank you, Sexy... Guardian? Is that my nickname?' _I ask smiling into the cup and drinking more of it.

'_Yes and no. Yes, because that's what you want to do when you meet new people and they are the people who are out to hurt them. But also no, because it is what you must be and what you must do.' _She informed me.

'_And what might that be "Oh, All-Knowing-One?"' _I reply smartly.

'_Don't make me zap you.'_

'_Okay, okay. But seriously, what am I supposed to do and be?' _I ask. It's funny knowing everyone else's fate but not mine.

'_I cannot tell you the ending. You must live it.'_

'_So, you're telling me: 'Spoilers' then?' _ I ask knowing the answer already.

'_Yes, spoilers.' _She laughed.

'_Ugh… Sentient ships and their all knowingness…' _I grumbled.

'_Hush you.' _She reprimanded and a steaming pot materializes. _'Here. It's a kettle of tea for you. Super-heated infusion of free-radicals and tannin, just the thing for healing the synapses.'_

'_Oooh, Sexy. I love it when you talk nerdy to me.' _I flirted with her. I then poured another cup for myself. No wonder the Brits love tea so much. Yum.

'_I can easily suck out the oxygen the out of this room, so don't tempt me.' _The TARDIS threatened playfully.

'_Geez Idris, no need to get tetchy. It's just some harmless flirting.' _ I said smiling, before I continued with a serious tone. _'I have one more thing to ask: was I erased from my time?'_

'_Yes, unfortunately you were erased.' _She replied softly._ 'Are you okay Jamie?'_

'_Wow.' _I mumbled and quickly rambled. _'I mean I'm okay. I know I'm not fine, just… okay… for the most part. It's a bit depressing but at least I have you guys to help me out.'_

* * *

As I finished the pot, I begin leave and stroke the wall in thanks and I receive a hum in return for 'You're welcome.'

Out in the corridor, I see my door in High Gallifreyan writing. Wow, I can read circles. That's going to get some getting used to. I wonder what else is new.

'_Sexy, is there anything I should know about me?' _I ask tentatively and proceed to enter the room.

It's a nice size. The bed is a king sized one and has Star Wars bed sheets: it's the scene where the x-wing fighters are have a space dog-fight with the TIE fighters amidst the Death Star . My life is complete. That's slightly sad, I know. But I've always wanted it since high school. I'm a simple Time Lady with simple Time Lady tastes.

The walls themselves are of the universe with spiraling galaxies and nebulas to name a few. To call it a life-like projection is an insult to the TARDIS. It's almost as if you are in a space suit and walking among the stars. There's also a desk next to the bed that has the exact same stuff on _my_ desk in _my _room in the other universe, even down to the random scraps of paper. Then the TARDIS decides to give me a slight panic attack, because you know that's what I need after this day I'm having with new information.

'_Well first of all, you're about 700 years old. 718 to be exact.' _She casually informs me.

If I had been drinking something, I would have done a spit take. But I didn't. So, I did the most rational thing at the time; I peed myself a little bit. Yes, I know VERY grown up.

'_WHAT? I'm seven HUNDRED and eighteen years old? What the fuck? Daaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhh!' _I yelled. So much for me being calm.

'_Language, Jamie. Yes, you are seven hundred and eighteen years old. Breath... I don't think your respiratory bypass can hold out for that long.'_

Yes, breathing was good. It's what keeps you from doing that thing where you black out because of the lack of oxygen entering your brain! Deep breaths girl. Inhale and exhale.

'_Okay… I think I'm good. Thanks again. Umm… Maybe I should sleep…' _I say much calmer. I move closer to the bed and lay down. My eye lids growing heavy from the exhaustion.

'_Yes, I think that's a good idea.' _ I hear the TARDIS say, although slightly distant.

'_Goodnight, Idris.' _ I say.

'_Goodnight, my Guardian.'_ She replies.

As I fall into deep slumber, a question still lingers: what am I supposed to be and what am I supposed to do?

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**A/N Thanks for reading. Please review and tell me what you think. Be specific.**

**-HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	2. Some Answers to Too Many Questions

**A/N Hello again. I know right, that was quick. Even I impressed myself. ****So, Jamie's much more personal backstory will flit throughout the story**** in many different forms. Keep a look out for them if you're really interested. This chapter shows Jamie's very basic backstory more clearly and a few hints of why she's here.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, Donna, the Doctor, or even my room. I own Jamie, my TARDIS watch, this computer, and my life (I think).**

* * *

I hear a sort of buzzing in my head telling me to wake up. When I didn't move, the TARDIS decided to be an _adult_ and had my bed violently toss me to the ground.

"Oi! What in the hell was the for?" I snapped rubbing my offended shoulder.

'_You've been sleeping for almost a day,' _she countered._ 'The Doctor and Donna are worried about you. I had to reassure the Doctor that you weren't going to harm to them and that you are safe from any effects of the regeneration.'_

Getting off of the floor. I started towards the bathroom.

"Okay, no need to be violent on the new-well, old-Time Lady," I retorted. "I'm pretty sure causing me to regenerate again won't help matters! I'll get showered and dressed for my hosts. Tell them we can meet in the kitchen, killing two birds with one stone. Damn I'm starving."

'_Just hurry up, before I make it so there isn't any hot water for you,' _she threatened.

"Wow, the show did not show how threaten-y you are. I guess I can see why they didn't want to see a Scary Idris to boss the resident Time Lord around,"I replied smartly. Which I then received a strong painful bolt of, although deserved, electric shock to my forearm.

"OW! Seriously, someone needs to work on their anger management skills!" I yelled at the ceiling.

'_Do you want me to do that again?' _Her tone was starting to scare me.

Backpedalling quickly. "No, of course not… My, isn't your coat of paint mighty lovely today?" I hesitantly complimented.

_'_Good._ That's what I thought,' _she said quite smugly. _'Now hurry up. As much as you're being a slight pain, the Doctor is starting to annoy me even more so. He tried to find your room when I insisted that you're in need of a rest. And only gave up the 6__th__ hour of trying to talk to you. I'll put the door right in front of your room when you're ready.'_

"Thank you, Sweetie. Love yoooouuuuu looooootttttssss," I flirted.

She just grumbled. If this is what she's like when she's annoyed, I really don't want to be in this universe when she angry. I shuddered at that thought and get undress for my shower.

* * *

Stepping out of the shower with a large fluffy towel wrapped around my body, I look for something to wear for the day in the-of course-bigger on the inside wardrobe in my room. Something practical, durable, and comfortable because imminent doom always needs this kind of caution.

I dressed myself in tan skinny jeans with a black web belt, a solid black shirt, a black Nike swoosh zip-up hoodie, a heather gray night watch beanie, my Vans black rimmed glasses (Though I no longer need them because of my Time Lordiness. Yes, that's a word now.), and of course a pair of TARDIS blue high top Chucks.

The only missing from the ensemble is the TARDIS watch from my not-boyfriend-anymore-because-I-never-existed got me for Christmas. I feel a dull ache in chest thinking about the life I left because of something that shouldn't exist happened to me. One lone tear falls onto my right cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I feel so empty without him. I wish he were here to enjoy this with me.

As if sensing my loneliness, said watch appears on my desk. A small smile appears on my face.

"Thank you, Sexy," I say barely above a whisper. The floodgates threaten to spill because of this act of kindness and I inhale deeply recomposing myself, wiping any tears that have formed. I quickly wash my face to make it look as if nothing has happened.

'_You're welcome, Jamie,' _she responded softly.

"Hold on, where are they in their timeline? Just to make sure no spoilers are mistakenly said," I inquired.

_'They're just after the incident at Adipose Industries. __Now get out there and face music. I'm certainly done playing your mediator with the Doctor.'_

* * *

As promised, the kitchen door is in front of my room and I hear a conversation a conversation that's slightly different than I expected. Although, I didn't know what _to _expect.

"I thought you were the last of the Time Lords. Who is she?" a female voice asked, that must be Donna.

"I am…well, I thought I was…until she, quite literally, appeared before our eyes," a male voice answered, and that must be the Doctor. "I don't know who she is. But I am going to find out."

"Good, I'm glad we're on the same page. I'd like to know as well," I countered while walking in, all conversations stop and both of them stare at me. I just walk over to the fridge and grab a bundle of items.

I put the food on the table they were sitting at and sit across from them. They just continued to stare. Well, the Doctor was more glaring to be honest. What? Was I going to have a sudden urge to ambush them all the while trying to eat a small mound of deli sliced turkey, 5 apples, 4 large slices of cold pizza, and pitcher full of homemade sweet tea? I'd probably choke first before that even happens.

"So, you two have questions for me?" I say with a mouth of said food items. I probably look unlady-like, but right now I don't give a damn.

"Umm…first, when's the last time you ate?" Donna asked her eyes widening as I am actually taking down the mountain of food on my own.

I swallow my food and decide to be more polite without the 'see-food' aspect of it.

"20 hours, 7 minutes, and 10 seconds. Give or take a few seconds. Turkey?" I held out a slice with my fork. She politely declined.

"Who are you?" the Doctor says with a dark tone in his voice. Yay, I've angered _the_ Oncoming Storm. I raised one finger to indicate that I'm going to finish eating, and then I poured myself a glass of tea. After I leisurely drank ALL the contents of the pitcher, I began.

"Like I said before, my name's Jamie Evelyn Reyes Diaz Dominguez. I had one brother and two sisters. Their names are Jerry, Jacqueline, and Joann. Don't ask me why we're 'J's,' I think it's some weird Filipino trend they followed. My parents' names are Roman and Emma Dominguez. I was born in the Philippines and _**human**_, but migrated to the United States when I was 6 years old, lived in Southern California ever since. I _was _eighteen years old, but now I'm seven hundred and eighteen or so the TARDIS says. I _was_ also attending the local university.

"I came from a very different universe, where this is all a T.V. show called _Doctor Who_, that follows the life of the title character on his many adventures. And finally, my favorite color is TARDIS blue," I replied with all the seriousness and gusto I could muster while staring intensely at my audience. I had a strong urge to bow but bit the detoured feeling down.

The Doctor's countenance changed to a more pleasant and friendly one as I rambled.

"What? Don't people answer you directly?" I asked.

"No, not really," the Doctor laughed. "They more or less go with the vagaries. So it's kind of a breath of fresh air and nice for once that you aren't trying to play any games. So, what incarnation are you on?"

"Hmm… Don't know that one. I'll ask," I mused.

"Ask who? Who're you-" I cut him off by placing a left index finger on his lips and then put it back down when he remained quiet but confuzzled.

And quickly placed my other one in Donna's before she can ask the same thing, but she tried to bite it and I immediately snatched it away. I playfully glared and smirked at her, wagging my finger at her. She just huffed and crossed her arms while sticking her tongue out with a smirk, adding a playful glare as well.

I look towards the ceiling. "Sweetie, what incarnation am I?" I asked the TARDIS.

'_Your seventh one, Guardian,' _she replied back.

"Thank you, Sweetheart. So, we're using that nickname now, aren't we? I'm guessing the whole of creation is going to start to use it, too. Ugh. Anyway, thank you again."

'_You're welcome. Anytime.'_

I turn to the Doctor. "Did you get that?" I ask.

He nods.

"So, to _whom_ were you talking to?" Donna asked finally fed up with the nutter talking to ceilings.

"The TARDIS," I stated simply.

"What? Why can't I hear her?"

"She's telepathic and that's the only way she can communicate directly to a Time Lord. So, is that it?"

The Doctor was about ask another question when Donna interrupted '21 questions.'

"Yeah, I got one. Do you really think I'm gorgeous?" Donna asked. To which elicited a groan from the Doctor. "What? Hardly anyone says that to me, so I'll ask for it till she won't."

"Yes, but there more pressing matters other than flirting with our new guest," He muttered.

* * *

And they continued on bickering until I just started laughing and fell off my chair onto the floor. Maybe it was the absurdity of their argument or just hysteria, more likely the latter. Yes, I was literally rolling on the floor laughing my ass off. The duo stared at me stunned; I clutched my stomach laughing at them.

"Sorry-It's just-your faces-I mean-" I said in between giggles. I wasn't really feeling sorry.

"Jamie, breathe. You're going to suffocate down there," Donna said concerned.

She then went around the table and loomed over me with her arms crossed to see if I was still breathing, because after a while I didn't even make any sounds. Just tears streaming down my crimson face as I continued to laugh. The Doctor in his _always-helpful_ manner just continued stare with an amused look on his face.

Having slowly composed myself with still small fits of giggles, I dust myself off and stand up in front of her smiling.

"Respiratory bypass," I pointed to my chest. "So it makes it very hard to die due asphyxiation," I replied and then nudging her. "Although, you'd revive me right? I mean you can't resist all of _this_," gesturing vaguely to my body.

"Oh, get off! I bet you say that to all the people you meet," She flirted back.

Then Jason's, my boyfriend-well not-boyfriend-anymore-because-I-never-existed, face flitted through my mind and all the memories we shared. The one person, I would do _**anything**_ to get back to. The one who would always say _that_ to me, before he would pull me into a searing kiss. This sudden and strong flashback made me stumble on my words.

"Uhh-umm-no—umm -no. Just…just…just the one…" I trailed, as tears began to fall down my cheeks. I turned away from them. I did not want them to see me like this.

Donna wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back with comforting circles.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" I cut her off.

"No, Donna. There's nothing to _be_ sorry for. I just remembered someone and I guess I wasn't really ready to make jokes yet." I mumbled into her chest.

I pulled away from her and wipe the last few tears and looked straight into the Doctor's eyes without malice or sadness, just a mask to hide the emotions at bay, for now.

"Any other questions Doctor?"

We all sat back down on our respective seats, taking in the comfortable silence, before the Doctor began again.

"How did you get here? You said that you had an idea but we kind of went off on a tangent," he asked softly.

"A…a crack on the skin of the universe. It's not supposed to be there, I mean not this early," I replied.

"What's a crack? And what do you mean 'not this early?'" he asked leaning forward.

"Cracks are 'two points of space and time that should have not touched, pressed together.' " I quoted the Eleventh Doctor. "And well for the second part, all I can say is: spoilers." I smirked.

"Spoilers?" the Doctor asked grinning as well.

"Yes, Doctor. Spoilers," I smirked.

"I've already told you a big part of the foreseeable future I probably shouldn't have, but because the TARDIS wanted you off her case, I did. Plus you said it yourself: foreknowledge is dangerous," my voice casting a serious tone and leaning in closer as well.

The Doctor was about to ask another question when Donna interjected.

"As much as I _love_ interrogating seven hundred and eighteen year old Time Lords-" Donna sarcastically began.

"Time Ladies." both the Doctor and I corrected.

"-Whatever! I just wanted to travel the stars not _this_. Can we go somewhere now?" She finished gesturing her hands wildly.

With a consensus we left for the main control room.

* * *

Donna took her position at the railing near the console and I joined her.

"So… Miss Jamie Evelyn Reyes Diaz Dominguez and Miss Donna Noble," the Doctor began and was running around the console inputting the coordinates. Insert-_I Am the Doctor In Utah_ by Murray Gold-Here.

The Doctor then turned to us. "Are you ready you ready?" he with his manic grin.

"YES!" Both Donna and I exclaimed returning the same mad grin.

And with that, the dematerialization circuit is activated.

"Alons-y!"

* * *

**So that's the next chapter is _Fires of Pompeii_. Until we...meet?...see each other?..._SOMETHING_ again, review please. You never know, I might get these chapters out faster.**

**-HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	3. 20,000

**A/N Hello again. So for you Americans out there, how your Martin Luther King Day celebration? And the non-Americans, how was Monday? Thank you for those who are followed, reviewed, and maybe, just read. I'm new to this. So, I'm excited.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BBC, Doctor Who, David Tennant, Catherine Tate and The Fray. I wish though. I would rule the world. MUAHAHAHAHAHA...*Coughs* Sorry got carried away there.**

**Anyway, enjoy.**

* * *

"Ancient Rome!" the Doctor exclaimed as we departed from the TARDIS doors. "Well, not to them right now. For intents and purposes this brand new Rome."

I snort and bitterly laugh to myself. So many people dying... My musings are cut short when I hear of Donna's complaints about being in Epcot or something or other.

I walk to them and then stood in between. "No, no, no, no, no. Donna, that's the TARDIS translation circuit. Just makes it look like English, speech as well. You're speaking Latin right now," I laughed and grinned.

"Seriously?" she returned the grin.

"Mmhm."

"I said 'seriously' in Latin?"

"Oh, yeah," I laughed and we continued to walk down the alleyway.

"So what if I say something in actual Latin? Like 'veni, vidi, vici.' My dad came home one day, he said 'veni, vidi, vici' after a football match. What would it sound like?" she inquired.

'_Welsh,' _I grinned and looked to the Doctor.

He just looked at me stunned, then replied quickly to Donna's question.

"I-I don't know. You like to think of the difficult questions, don't you?" the Doctor answered.

"I'm gonna try it," then she walked to the nearest vendor.

I finally noticed the Doctor was still staring at me stunned.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" I said confused.

"No, its just…I haven't heard or talked to someone like that in a very long time," he said softly.

"Oh...I'll stop, if you're uncomfortable with it," I said as I shifted uneasily.

'_It's fine. Really. I missed this,' _he gave a soft smile.

'_Okay,' _I smiled back.

"What does he mean by Celtic?" Donna interrupting our 'heart-to-heart moment.'

I looked back at Donna. "He means Welsh," I responded. "You sound Welsh...The more you know I guess. Now, that's something." We turned and began to walk down another way.

I briefly glanced back, to see Scary Pond lurking next to the wall. Wow, it's weird seeing her without Rory right next to her. I wonder if they're at all related, I mean Amy did like the Romans. Although, I don't think Amy had the hankering for killing "blasphemers."

* * *

After walking for what seemed like an eternity and Scary Pond following us around Pompeii, Donna finally asked the fated question.

"Not an expert, but aren't there seven hills in Rome? How come they only have one?" she said looking at Vesuvius.

"Because we aren't in Rome, Donna," I said solemnly.

"What do you mean by that?"

As if on cue, the ground began to shake and anything within its vicinity. The realization finally hits them.

"Wait a minute, one mountain with smoke coming out of it? Which makes this-"the Doctor cuts her off.

"Pompeii!" he says horrified. "We're in Pompeii and it's volcano day."

* * *

Running through the streets of Pompeii seemed almost surreal, the amount of devastation and the lives that are going to be lost because of one horrific event.

And also on a side note, I'm running faster than I've ran ever before and I'm not even close to tired, yet. I really should do this more often. I was first to where _had_ left the TARDIS.

"FUCK!" I angrily exclaimed, causing a few passersby to be wary of me.

"Oi! Language. What was that for, eh?" the Doctor was second to arrive. I just merely pointed in exasperation. "Oh."

"Yeah," I said as I ran my hands through my hair in aggravation and disbelief.

"Oh you're kidding! You're not telling me the TARDIS is gone?" Donna muttered in annoyance.

"Okay," both the Doctor and I said in unison.

"So where is it?" she asked.

"Well, you told us not to tell you," I mumbled meekly.

"Oi, don't get clever in Latin, Timegirl," she snapped.

I then turned and ran to the same stallholder Donna talking to before.

"Excuse me! Excuse me! Where does Old Caecilius live? The guy _**YOU**_ sold _**OUR**_ big, blue, wooden box to?" I asked aggressively. I _might_ have I growled the last sentence and got in his face which _might_ have scared him a bit/a lot because he answered quickly.

"F-F-Foss S-S-Street. He lives on Foss Street. B-Big Villa, can't miss it," he managed to stammer out.

"Why would he want a big, blue, wooden box for?" I snarled and started towards the frightened man.

"I-I don't know," he said backing into his fruit stand.

"Jamie…" the Doctor warned and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Fine. If I see that man again…" I trailed with an undertone of malice.

"Yes, _we_ can see that. Let's just find Foss Street and get the hell out of here," he said in placating manner. And then we were off to the man himself.

* * *

As the Doctor and I met back with Donna, things were go from bad to worse.

"Ha! We've got it! Foss Street, this way!" he exclaims as we stop in front of Donna.

"No, I've found this big sort of amphitheater I think... We can start there. We can get everyone together. Then maybe they've got a great, big bell or something we could ring. Have they invented bells yet?" she responded.

"What do you want a bell for?" the Doctor puzzled.

"She wants to evacuate everyone out of Pompeii," I gritted out.

"Yeah!" she exclaimed.

"What?" the Doctor is still at a loss

"To warn everyone! To start the evacuation! What time does Vesuvius erupt? When's it due?" Donna asks still not getting it.

"It's 79 AD, 23 of August which makes Volcano Day tomorrow," I said.

"Plenty of time, then. We can get everyone out easy."

"Except we're not going to," the Doctor says finally finding his bearings and tries to pull Donna away. But she doesn't budge.

"But that's what you do. You're the Doctor. You save people," she reasoned.

"But he can't this time. Pompeii's a fixed point in history. Whatever happens here has to happen. And we aren't going to stop it," I countered, trying to pull her as well.

"Says who?" Donna snapped.

"Says us," the Doctor retorted right back.

"What, and you two 're in charge?" she said indignant.

"TARDIS, Time Lords...yeah," I snapped back.

"Donna, human...no! I don't need your permission. I'll tell them myself!" she yelled.

"Oh go right ahead Donna!" I yelled back.

"You stand in the marketplace and announce the end of the world, they'll just think you're a mad old soothsayer. Now, come on. TARDIS, we are getting out of here," the Doctor ground out.

We began to storm off to find our ship. I barely remembered Scary Pond was still following our every move and almost jumped out of my skin when I saw her. She looked at me, well, creepily. Is that a thing? It is now.

"Well, I just might have something to say about that, Spaceman and Timegirl!" she retorted and finally following us.

"Oh, I bet you will!" we both replied over our shoulders.

* * *

When we arrived, the ground shook once more.

"Whoa!" The Doctor exclaimed and caught the bust that was about to crash onto the floor. Then turned to Caecilius with his cheesiest grin. "There you go."

"Thank you, kind sir. I'm afraid business is closed for the day. I'm expecting a visitor," Caecilius politely informs him.

"Oh, that's me!" he exclaims and shakes the man's hand. "I'm a visitor. Hello."

"Who are you?" Caecilius asks, wary of us.

"I am...Spartacus," he lies awfully.

"And so am I," Donna recovers.

"I'm Julia Draco," I replied waving, having enough sense to make up a better name.

"I see. Mr. and Mrs. Spartacus?" Caecilius looks between Donna and the Doctor

"Oh no, we're not married," the Doctor says quickly.

"Not together," Donna says at the same time.

"Oh, then brother and sister? Yes, of course. You look very much alike," Caecilius oblivious. I just snort with laughter next to them.

"Really?" Donna and the Doctor ask in unison ignoring me.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not open for trade," Caecilius tries to shoo us away.

"And that trade would be?" the Doctor asks, unswayed.

"Marble. Lucius Caecilius. Mining, polishing, and design thereof. If you want marble, I'm your man," he proudly declares

"That's good. That's good, 'cause I'm the marble inspector," he says walking past Caecilius

"By the gods of commerce, an inspection!" Metella exclaims. "I'm sorry, sir. I do apologize for my son." Then proceeds to throw the wine into the pool.

"Oi!" Quintus exclaims.

"This is my good wife, Metella. I-I must confess, we're not prepared for a-" Caecilius stammers out but I cut him off.

"Nothing to worry about. I-I'm sure you've got nothing to hide. Although, frankly, that..." I say and pointing towards the TARDIS. "…object...rather looks like wood to me."

"I told you to get rid of it!" Metella hissed to her husband.

"I only bought it today," Caecilius tells me defensively.

"Ah, well. Caveat Emptor," the Doctor retorts.

"Oh, you're Celtic. There's lovely," he says still wary of the strangers.

"I'm sure it's fine but I might have to take it off your hands for a proper inspection," the Doctor responds.

"Although, while we're here, wouldn't you recommend a holiday, Spartacus and Julia?" she asks offhandedly.

"Oh, no. You are not dragging me into this woman," I snapped in hushed tones.

"I don't know what you mean, Spartacus," the Doctor annoyed by her insistence.

"Oh, this lovely family, mother and father and son... Don't you think they should get out of town?" she pushed

"Why should we do that?" Caecilius asked confused.

"Well, the volcano for starters," she said.

"What?"

"Volcano," she tried again.

"What-ano?" Caecilius still not getting the picture.

"That great big volcano right on your doorstep," she insisted.

"Oh, Spartacus, for shame. We haven't even greeted the household gods yet," the Doctor said and pulls her away toward the shrine, to which I follow them. And then whispers to Donna. "They don't know what it is. Vesuvius is just a mountain to them. The top hasn't blown off yet. The Romans haven't even got a word for volcano. Not until tomorrow."

"Oh great. They can learn a new word...when they die," she remarks sarcastically.

"Donna, stop it," the Doctor ground out.

"Listen, I don't know what sort of kids you've been flyin' around with in outer space, but you're not telling me to shut up. That boy… How old is he, sixteen? And tomorrow he burns to death," Donna snapped.

"And that's our fault?" I remarked incredulously.

"Right now, yes!"

"Oh for the love of-" my rant is cut off the servant.

"Announcing, Lucius Petrus Dextrus, Chief Augur of the city government," the servant announced.

"Lucius, my pleasure as always," Caecilius

"Quintus, stand up," Metella hissed to her son.

"A rare and great honour, sir, for you to come to my house," Caecilius greeted Lucius

"The birds are flying north...and the wind is in the west," Lucius said ignoring the handshake.

"Right. Absolutely. That's good, is it?" still Caecilius unsure of what else to say.

"Only the grain of wheat knows where it will grow," Lucius continues.

"There now, Metella, have you ever heard such wisdom?"

"Never. It's an honour," Metella says equally dumbfounded.

"Pardon me, sir, I have guests. This is Spartacus, and, uh, Spartacus, and uh Julia," Caecilius apologizes.

"A name is but a cloud upon a summer wind," Lucius beings

"But the wind is felt most keenly in the dark," the Doctor retorts.

"Oh, look, a pissing contest. I bet we know who has the bigger socks," I whispered to Donna.

"Who?" She whispered back, trying to stifle a giggle.

"Chief Blowhard over there. I mean, who wouldn't want some… of… that!" She snorted. Loudly. Completely, missing the 'contest' and receiving glare from said blowhard.

"Ssh!" the Doctor reprimanded and glared at the both of us. "We'll be off in a minute."

He then takes Donna's shoulders and guides her towards the TARDIS to which I follow, damn I was just getting started.

"I'm not going," she snapped above barely a whisper.

"You've got to," he pleaded.

"Well I'm not," she cried petulantly.

"The moment of revelation. And here it is..." Caecilius announced in awe.

I look back to get a glimpse of what looked like a circuit board on marble. Ugh. Just wanted a nice day out. And what do I get? Rock people hell bent on making Earth their new home, by force.

"Exactly as you specified. It pleases you, sir?"

"As the rain pleases the soil," Lucius vaguely replied.

"Oh now that's...different. Who designed that then?" the Doctor rejoining them.

"Bloody hell, Doctor. Make up your mind," I hissed under my breath.

"My lord Lucius was very specific," Caecilius who seem very proud of himself.

"Where'd you get the pattern?" the Doctor queried.

"On the rain and mist and wind," Lucius said offhandedly.

"Well that looks like a circuit," Donna offered.

"Made of stone," the Doctor said in hushed tones.

"Do you mean you just dreamt that up?" she scoffed.

"That is my job...as City Augur," Lucius stated.

"What's that then, like the mayor?" she snapped none too politely.

"Oh, ah, you must excuse our friend. She's from...Barcelona," the Doctor quickly lied, then we ushered Donna to the side.

"This is an age of superstition...of official superstition. The augur is paid by the city to tell the future. 'The wind will blow from the west.' That's the equivalent of the 10:00 news," I replied quickly and animatedly. The Doctor looked impressed.

"What? History, government, and psychology were my favorite subjects in school."

Evelin then appeared out of the hallway. "They're laughing at us. Those three, they use words like tricksters. They're mocking us," Evelina accused.

"No, no. I meant no offence," I quickly defended myself.

"I'm sorry. My daughter's been consuming the vapors," Metella apologized.

"By the gods, Mother! What have you been doing to her?" Quintus accused.

"Not now, Quintus," his father reprimanded.

"But she's sick. Just look at her," he implored.

"I gather I have a rival in this household. Another with the gift," Lucius sneered.

"Oh, she's been promised to the Sybiline Sisterhood. They say she has remarkable visions," Metella proud replied.

"The prophecies of women are limited and dull. Only the men folk have the capacity for true perception," Lucius arrogantly asserted.

"I'll tell you where the wind's blowing right now, mate," Donna muttered. The ground shook beneath us.

"The mountain god marks your words. I'd be careful if I were you," Lucius warned.

"Consuming the vapours, you say?" the Doctor queried.

"They give me strength," Evelina responded, looking very drained.

"It doesn't look like it to me," the Doctor quickly assessed.

"Is that your opinion...as a doctor?"

"I beg your pardon?" the Doctor confused as to how this girl knows so much.

"Doctor. That's your name," she stated simply

"How did you know that?" he demanded.

"And you, you call yourself noble," she looked at Donna, then me. "And you the Guardian."

"Now then Evelina, don't be rude," her mother scolded her.

"No, no, no. Let her talk," I told her mother.

"You three come from so far away," Evelina said

"A female soothsayer in inclined to invent all sorts of vagaries," Lucius scoffed.

"Oh, not this time, Lucius. I reckon you've been out-soothsaid," the Doctor retorted.

"Is that so...man from Gallifrey?" Lucius mocked.

"What?" the Doctor taken aback.

"Strangest of images… You and the Guardian's home were lost in fire, was it not?" Lucius confirmed.

"Doctor, Jamie. What are they doing?" Donna panic evident in her voice.

"And you, daughter of...London," Lucius looked at Donna.

"How does he know that?" clearly shaken.

"Donna, it's okay. He can't hurt you," I said, holding her left hand and rubbing circles on it.

"This is the gift of Pompeii. Every single oracle tells the truth," he stated.

"But that's impossible," Donna said disbelievingly

"Doctor, she is returning."

"Who is? Who's she?" the Doctor demanded

"And you, Daughter of London...you have something on your back," Lucius taunted.

"What's that mean?" Donna stepping closer to me, as I glared at Lucius.

"Guardian, you will choose. For you must be and must do what has to done," Lucius prophesied.

"What do you mean?" I snarled starting towards him, but Donna pulls me back as if I'm her one security.

As I looked into his eyes, an underlying fear is present staring back at me. I smirked evilly.

"Even the word 'Doctor' is false. Your real name is hidden. It burns in the stars of the cascade of Medusa herself. You are a lord, sir. As is the Guardian is lady. A lord and lady...of time," Evelina prophesied, exhausting herself to the point of fainting.

"Evelina!" Metella shouted in alarm and rushed to her aid as well as the Doctor.

* * *

"She didn't mean to be rude. She's ever such a good girl. But when the gods speak through her..." Metella defended her daughter.

"It's alright. What happened happened. We can't go back, so we have to keep moving forward," I said stepping closer trying to console her.

"What's wrong with her arm?" Donna asks from a distance, while Metella is unwrapping her daughter's stone forearm.

"An irritation of the skin. She never complains, bless her. We bathe it in olive oil every night," Metella praised.

"What is it?" Donna asks, walking closer towards where I was.

"Evelina said you both come from far away. Please, have you ever seen anything like it?" her eyes begging for an answer.

I touched the arm and licked my fingers of the dust. "It's looks like a form petrifold regression. Although, there is some tweaks in the molecular structure that allows the cells to operate in such a way that goes beyond the disease… It's converting her cells from the inside out, until there's nothing left of her but a shell…" I trailed and noticed Donna just staring in bewilderment.

"Hello?" I waved at her awkwardly.

"Hi…it's just…you almost sounded like the Doctor and even a mannerism when you were explaining that thing you said and you didn't sound human," she said shaking her head.

"Well, technically Donna, I'm not. And yeah, I kind of surprised myself. It's like I'm remembering a memory, but that can't be right…I've been getting them… I-I don't know anymore…"

"So what is it, in simple human terms? What's happening to Evelina?"

"Touch her arm."

"What?"

"Do it."

She stepped closer and touched Evelina's arm "Oh my, God. It's stone," she breathed and covered her mouth.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed.

* * *

Leaning against one the corner pillars, I watched Donna and Evelina from the corner, I pondered what going to happen. Can we really kill 20,000 people? I remembered watching this episode, and feeling '_I could do that. Just push the lever._' But now, I don't know anymore.

Travelling with the Doctor was very eye opening. The things we see, they're so beautiful. But some things aren't so black and white anymore.

In my heart—hearts I know what's going to happen. But for some reason I can't seem to stop the Time Lord in me. Like something is pushing me towards a different path, even though I know differently. Like I just can't seem to help myself anymore.

Donna then interrupts my thoughts, begging Evelina about listening or something or other.

"Evelina, can you hear me? Listen," Donna implores.

"There is only one prophecy," Evelina cries.

"Donna, I'm warning you. Don't do this…" I warned Donna

Completely ignoring me. "But everything I'm about to say to you is true. I swear. Just listen to me. Tomorrow, that mountain is going to explode. Evelina, please listen. The air is going to fill with ash and rocks…tons and tons of it and…this whole town is gonna get buried."

"Donna, stop. That's enough. You're just making it worse for them now stop it," walking closer to them.

"That's not true," Evelina cried.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but everyone's gonna die," Donna softly replies.

"Even if you don't believe me, just tell your family to get out of town...just for one day, just for tomorrow. But you've got to get out! Just leave Pompeii!" Donna practically begs.

"This is false prophecy!" Evelina completely disbelieving.

* * *

The Earth bellowed underneath, shaking everything again, and we entered the main courtyard.

"What is it? What's that noise?" Metella asks alarmed.

"Doesn't sound like Vesuvius," Caecilius declares.

"Caecilius! All of you, get out!" the Doctor shouts after running in.

"Doctor, what is it?" Donna slightly panicking.

"I think we're being followed," the Doctor quickly replied.

"And you bring the goddamn trouble _here_. Good job, there genius!" I sarcastically added and whack him on the back of his head.

"Oi!" he snapped and glared as rubbed the back of his head. I raise my eyebrows at him and he just grumbles.

"Okay, everyone just get out!" I commanded to everyone in the room. The hypocaust bursts and giant Pyrovile emerges.

"The gods are with us," Evelina breathed with awe

"Water! We need water! Quintus, all of you, get water! Donna! Jamie!" the Doctor ordered.

"Blessed are we to see the gods," one the servants breathed towards the Pyrovile foot soldier. To which the creature incinerated.

"Talk to me! That's all I want! Talk to me. Tell me who you are. Don't hurt these people," the Doctor implored the creature.

As Donna and I were rushing to get a pail of water, rough hands grabbed us. As much as I like being roughly handled, I didn't mean like this!

* * *

'_DOCTOR!' _ I yelled for the Doctor.

'_Jamie, where are you and Donna? I told you to not wander off!' _he reprimanded.

'_Yeah, coz we just needed to get to Starbucks right now!' _I snapped.

'_Okay, fine. Where are you two?'_

'_The Sybiline Sisterhood took us. You know, creepy women in ominous red robes. Don't really feel like being stabbed here!'_

'_Be there in a few!'_

'_Oh, take your sweet ass time why don't you?!'_

* * *

Lying on this alter, I wondered where it all went wrong. I should have just gone partying like everyone else. Now, I'm going to be Pyrovile kabab.

"You have got to be kidding me," exasperation evident in Donna's voice.

"Who the hell thinks this crap up? Do they go to like Murderers-R-Us?" I whispered to Donna

"The false prophets will surrender both their blood and her breath," the lead scary cult lady announced.

"Hey! Whoa, watch where you point that _very _sharp knife. You might hurt someone," I said squirming and stalling for the Doctor.

"But that's rather point," she smiled with a toothy smile. Ugh, puns. Oh the many expletives I can yell, but I'm going to lady-like…

"Oh fuck no! You crazy-ass bitch with daddy issues. Let. Us. The. Fuck. Go!" I growled. Okay, never mind about lady-like

"You will be silent!" lead scary cult lady hissed.

"You might have eyes on the back of your hands but you'll have eyes in the back of your head by the time I finish with you! Let us...go!" Donna screamed.

"This prattling will cease...forever."

She raised the knife to plunged into one of my hearts first.

"Oh, that'll be the day," the Doctor called from the furthest pillar.

"No man is allowed to enter the Temple of Sybil," lead scary cult lady gritted.

"Oh, that's all right, just us girls," he said walking towards us. "Do you know, I met the Sibyl once. Hell of a woman. Blimey, she could dance a tarantella. Truth be told, I think she had a bit of a thing for me. I said it would never last. She said, "I know". Well, she would. You two all right there?"

"Oh, never better," Donna sarcastically remarked.

"Just peachy thank you. Took you long enough. What did you get lost again?" I snapped.

"Oi! That only happened once. I got here didn't I?" the Doctor snapped back.

"It would be nice if, you know, I was less spread eagle over here!"

"I like the toga," the Doctor muttered to Donna

"Thank you," Donna replied.

"What do you think about ropes though?" I asked offhandedly.

"Eh, not so much," the Doctor replied sonicking the ropes off us.

"I know right. Not even quality ones. Now the handcuffs on Brotjafax was good," I said rubbing my wrists

"What magic is this?" lead scary cult lady questioned, in awe.

"Let me tell you about the Sibyl...the founder of this religion. She would be ashamed of you. All her wisdom and insight turned sour. IS that how you spread the word, eh? On the blade of a knife?" he tried to reason.

"Yes...a knife that now welcomes you!" she countered.

"Seriously Doctor, you really need stop trying to get women to stab you," I calmly muttered to the Doctor

"Show me this man and woman," the high priestess ordered.

"High Priestess, these strangers would defy us!" lead scary cult lady implored.

"Let me see. These two are different. They carry starlight in their wake," the high priestess commanded.

"Ah, very perceptive. Where do these words of wisdom come from?" the Doctor questioned.

'_The Pyrovile,' _I told him.

'_Seriously?' _he answered back.

'_Yep,'_I answered solemnly.

"The gods whisper to me," the high priestess continued.

"Oh, they've done far more than that. Ah, might I beg audience, look upon the High Priestess?" the Doctor took a step forward.

"Oh my God! What's happened to you?" Donna gasped.

"The heavens have blessed me," the high priestess remarked.

"If I might... Does it hurt?" the Doctor stepped closer to touch.

"It is necessary," the high priestess.

"Who told you that?"

"The voices."

"Is that what's happening to Evelina? Is this what's gonna happen to all of you?" Donna breathed and turned to the others.

"The blessings are manifold," lead scary cult lady said holding her arm out.

"They're stone," Donna gasped in horror. I inched towards Donna. This isn't going to be pretty.

"Exactly. The people of Pompeii are turning to stone before the volcano erupts. But why?" the Doctor

"This word...this image in your mind, this "volcano", what is that?"

"More to the point, why don't you know about it? Who are you?"

"High Priestess of the Sibyline."

"No, no, no, no. I'm talking to the creature inside you. The thing that's seeding itself into a human body, in the dust in the lungs...taking over the flesh and turning it into...what?" the Doctor seethed.

"Your knowledge is impossible," the high priestess gasped.

"Oh, but you can read my mind. You know it's not. I demand you tell me who you are!" commanding them.

"We...are...awakening!" in a voice that is not her own.

"The voice of the gods!" the lead scary cult lady breathed in awe.

"Words of wisdom, words of power. Words of wisdom, words of power," the rest of the women began chanting

"Name yourself! Planet of origin, galactic coordinates, species designation according to the universal ratification of the Shadow Proclamation," I shouted in desperation. _Where the hell did that come from?_

"We...are...rising!" the priestess' voice echoing in the temple.

"Tell me your name!" the Doctor yelled in anger.

"Pyrovile!" she/it/thing exclaimed.

_'You were right.' _the Doctor said.

_'I'm always right.' _I scoffed.

"Pyrovile. Pyrovile," the sisters began chanting.

"W-What's a Pyrovile?" Donna mumble into my ear.

"Well, that's a Pyrovile...growing inside her. She's at the halfway stage and we need to the hell out before then," I answered, pulling her closer towards the Doctor.

"Well, and that turns into?"

"That thing in the villa, **THAT**was an adult Pyrovile."

"And the breath of a Pyrovile will incinerate you, Doctor and Guardian," the whatever/thing/lady threatened.

"I'm warning you...I'm armed." the Doctor threatened back. "Donna, Jamie, get that grille open."

"Come on, Donna," I tried pulling towards the hypocaust.

"What are...?" Donna asked in confusion. He had a water pistol, what do you expect.

"Just…" he said indicating towards the hypocaust with a jerk of his head. "What are the Pyrovile doing here?"

We got to work and I didn't even bother listening to the Doctor, probably because my main concerned was to escape _incineration_. Yeah, rather not have that on my resume.

* * *

"We got it!" I shouted to the Doctor.

"Now get down," he said moving closer

"What, down there?" Donna asked incredulously.

"Yes, down there!" I snapped. "I don't know about you guys but I'm going NOW. **GE-RON-IMO**!" And I did, that was fun. Except for the _imminent doom_ part. But, whatever. Beggars can be choosers.

* * *

After a few more second they landed next to me

"You fought her off with a water pistol. I bloody love you," Donna exclaimed happily.

"This way," I called with the Doctor right behind me.

"Where are we going now?" Donna said exasperatedly.

"Into the volcano."

"No way."

"Yes way. Appian way," the Doctor replied smugly.

"Doctor, no. Just no," I muttered, leading the way.

* * *

After a few minutes of walking in silence, Donna began. I just kept silent for the time being. He's so going to be mad at me…

"But if it's aliens setting off the volcano, doesn't that make it all right? For you two stop it?" She implored.

"Still part of history," the Doctor answered.

"Well, I'm history too. You saved me in 2008. You saved us all. Why is that different?"

"Because, Donna, some things are fixed, some things are in flux. Pompeii is fixed," I said exasperatedly.

"How do you two know which is which?"

We both stopped and turned to her. "Because in the short time I arrived, that's how I now see it. That's how we see the universe. Every waking second, we can see what is, what was...what could be, and what must not. That's the burden of a Time Lord, Donna. We're the only ones left," I seethed, tears starting to form in my eyes. The Doctor took me into his arms and we began walking again. I wasn't crying because of not saving the people. It's the fact **WE** start Vesuvius, **WE **kill these people.

"How many people died?" she began again

"Stop it!" the Doctor snapped.

"Doctor! Jamie!" we stop and look at her again. "How many people died?"

"Twenty thousand," the Doctor said with anger.

"Is that what you can see, Doctor and Jamie? All 20,000? And you think that's all right, do you?" she countered.

"Fuck you, Donna," I gritted through the tears and helplessly wiping them away.

"What?" she gasped.

"You heard me. Fuck. You." I ground out.

When she raised her arm and slapped me, I saw red. Before I can retaliate, the Doctor interjected and physically blocked us from each other.

"Now stop it! Just stop! We're supposed to be working each other, not against," the Doctor implored, a screeching gave him a way out. He cursed under his breath. "They know we're here! Come on," the Doctor pulling us closer to the heart of Vesuvius.

* * *

Scurrying along the chamber walls, I was still seething with anger, I have an idea where it came from. I've been slapped before in an argument, but I was never this angry. What is going on with me?

"It's the heart of Vesuvius," He paused. "We're right inside the mountain."

"There's tons of 'em," Donna gasped.

"What's that thing?" the Doctor asked looking at the pod

"Well, you'd better hurry up and think of something. Rocky IV's on its way," Donna said panicking.

"That's how they arrived...or what's left of it. Escape pod? Prison ship? Gene bank?" he pondered.

"But why do they need a volcano? Maybe...it erupts and they launch themselves back in space or something," Donna reasoned.

"Oh, Donna," I laughed bitterly. "No, it's worse than that."

"How can it be worse?" she looked at me still angry as well. "Doctor, Jamie, it's getting closer."

"Heathens! Defilers! They would desecrate your temple, my lord gods!" Lucius shouted at us.

"Oh, shove it! Thou cockered fool-born maggot-pie!" I shouted back. I have no idea why, but a Shakespearean insult seemed fitting.

"Come on!" the Doctor called pulling Donna and I towards the pod. Ugh, the running again.

"We can't go in!" Donna yelled.

"Like we have a choice!" I snapped.

"We can't go back!" the Doctor agreed.

"Crush them! Burn them!" Lucius commanded. "There is nowhere to run, Doctor, Guardian...and Daughter of London."

"Now then, Lucius. My lord Pyrovillian...don't get yourselves in a lava," the Doctor pauses and looks at us. "In a lava...no?"

I just shake my head.

"No," Donna responds.

"No. But if I might beg the wisdom of the gods before we perish...once this new race of creatures is complete...then what?" the Doctor turns back to Lucius.

"My masters will follow the example of Rome itself, an almighty empire, bestriding the whole of civilization," Lucius prophesizes.

"But if you've crashed...and you've got all this technology, why don't you just go home?" she tried.

"The heaven of Pyrovillia is gone," Lucius responded.

"What do you mean "gone"? Where's it gone?" the Doctor asked puzzled.

"Think Lost Moon of Poosh, Doctor," I murmured.

"Oh." he murmured back, before I can respond Lucius interjected.

"It was taken. Pyrovillia is lost. But there is heat enough in this world for our new species to rise," Lucius continued to answered.

"Yeah, I should warn you, it's 70% water out there," he shouted.

"Water can boil and everything will burn, Doctor!" Lucius yelled.

"Then the whole planet is at stake. Thank you, that's all I needed to know. Donna! Jamie!" he said pulling us into the pod.

* * *

"Could we be any more trapped?" Donna breathed. "Little bit hot."

"Look here. See, the energy converted takes the lava, uses the power to create a fusion matrix which wields Pyrovile to human. Now it's complete, they can convert millions," the Doctor rambled.

"Well, can you two change it...with these controls?"

"'Course we can, but don't you see? That's why the soothsayers can't see the volcano. There is no volcano. Vesuvius is never going to erupt. The Pyrovile are stealing all its power. They're gonna use it to take over the world," he spat.

"But both of you can change it back," Donna cried.

"Well, we can avert the system, so the volcano will blow them up, yes, but...that's the choice, Donna. It's Pompeii or the world," he paused and looked at me with the full force of the Oncoming Storm. I would have shrunk back in normal circumstances, but I was just as angry, maybe even more so.

"Oh my God," Donna gasped.

"But you! You knew this! You knew what was going to happen! Why didn't you say ANYTHING?" His voice of thunder.

"What would you have wanted me to say? That today Pompeii wasn't going to be buried by Mt. Vesuvius. This wasn't a choice I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to find out on your own. I wanted to be wrong, I wanted to be _so _wrong. And now, Time Lord Victorious, we'll slaughter thousands **OURSELVES**." I spat in frustration and anger.

"I-I…" the Doctor began.

"Save it, Doctor. Just… just continue," I said in broken tone.

"If Pompeii is destroyed, then it's not just history, it's me. I make it happen," he realized.

"But the Pyrovile are made of rock. Maybe they can't be blown up," Donna tried.

"Vesuvius explodes with the force of 24 nuclear bombs. Nothing can survive it," I said. I took her left hand into my right and looked into her eyes. "Certainly not us."

"Never mind us," she smiled lightly, wiping the tears that were forming under my eyes.

"Push this lever and it's all over. 20,000 people," the Doctor on the verge of tears himself. We looked at each other one last time and pushed.

* * *

"It was an escape pod," he muttered to himself. Looking back, he grabbed both of our hands and ran to town, trying to get back to Caecilius' villa.

* * *

"Don't! Don't go to the beach! Don't go to the beach, go to the hills! Listen to me! Don't go to the beach, it's not safe! Listen to me...!" she screamed. She grabs a little boy. "Come here."

"Give him to me!" a woman, assuming his mother, yelled.

"Donna, Come on," I said pulling her and grabbed a hold of the Doctor's hand.

The sun was gone. Everything was in chaos. Screaming, so much screaming.

* * *

We arrive at Caecilius' home. Huddled, like a bunch of trapped rats. So much fear in their eyes. I couldn't look at them for long and just ran into the TARDIS, Donna yelling my name. I sat on the jump seat, pulling my legs closer. Hoping to just get out of here. Anywhere, but here.

A few seconds later, the Doctor marches towards the console, starting the dematerialization sequence with Donna at his heels. I watch listlessly, no longer able to form tears. Just broken sobs.

"You can't just leave them!" Donna shouting.

"Don't you think I've done enough? History's back in place and everyone dies," the Doctor sneered.

"You've got to go back! Doctor, I am telling you, take this thing back!" she implored, then looked to me. As if _I_ would be any help. "Jamie, say something! Do something!"

I just looked at her with a blank look on my face. I jumped out of my seat and just ran out to a room, any room. Someone was calling my name but I just couldn't…I couldn't go back.

* * *

After a few minutes, I slowed my pace to just a walk. My chest was heaving and my pulse still racing. I suddenly found myself in front of the zero room.

'_Are you trying to say something, Sweetie?' _ I asked exhausted.

'_This is the best way to collect your thoughts. And well, you didn't exactly look too great when you came in,' _the TARDIS replied. I walk in to this giant white room.

'_I don't suppose you can play the radio in here, would you?"_

'_Sure, I can. Where would you like to start?'_

'_How to Save a Life, The Fray.'_

'_Are you sure?'_ concerned in her "voice."

'_Please. I just…I just _**need**_ to hear it… And then…and then anything else," _I begged her. I then just laid down and closed my eyes in the middle of the room.

* * *

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life…_

* * *

**This was so depressing, I know. The next chapter won't be _Planet of the Ood. _I don't know what yet.  
Please review what you think. ****I'll try to work it in as many ideas as I can.  
Until next, time.**

**-HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	4. You're Not the Person I Knew Anymore

**A/N Hey people of earth! Sorry it's been a while. Writer's block and school decided to compete for each other.  
**_'Italics with apostrophe thingies'_—telepathy  
_Just Italics_—thoughts/dream/flashback  
Regular text— present

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Seriously, I think I sold my soul to the Devil at some point already. Although I do own my OC. Which is imaginary. Ah, the beauty of delusion.**

* * *

_Loud, heavy footsteps rang in the hallway. While two crimson clad teens-well at least they looked liked it- were in a cupboard._

"_Omega! Only _**you**_ would make trouble when we're already late! Father, is going to want our heads on a silver platter for this!" I hissed. "Gah. You're an idiot!"_

_He smirked. "Oh will you relax. It's only a bit of harmless fun, plus you liked it. I distinctly recall you're the one who started this mess…" he replied smugly._

_I glared. "Well…shut up. Let's just get to quantum theoretical physics." I grumbled. "You know we're getting as bad our friends." _

_We then went out of the cupboard and on our way to the classroom, walking much more casually._

"_And who might that be, hmm?" he sarcastically replied._

"_You know damn well who they are," I retorted._

_He rolled his eyes at me. "Yes, I know. The infamous Theta and Koschei," he retorted in mild annoyance._

"_You'd think, coming from the more honoured Houses, they'd be more…" I trailed._

"_Dignified, morally sound, serious, pompous, jerks -" he provided._

"_Sane," I remarked dryly._

"_You would think," he pondered. "But then again, they are our friends."_

"_True. But then, what does say us?"_

"_That we're special?" he sarcastically replied._

"_Yeah, special," I snickered. "Special in the head."_

_We finally arrived at our destination._

_He sighed. "Well, we better get inside before the others find us," he muttered._

"_You think, Father, will find out about our little endeavor?" I asked._

"_He is part of the High Council of Gallifrey…"_

_I sighed. "So we're literally grounded for the rest of this life, most likely the next as well?"_

"_Yep," he agreed popping the 'p.'_

* * *

I felt someone giving me a mental nudge to wake up. I didn't try to move just yet, I reached out to the TARDIS first.

'_Sweetie, is that you?' _I asked still groggy.

'_Yes,' _she responded amused.

I sat up. "Okay, good," I responded. Wait…hold on. _That _was not _my_ voice. It was way too deep for a woman and British…

"What the hell?" I yelped. "Did I regenerate again?"

I seemed to have an accent similar to the 11th Doctor's incarnation but two or three octaves lower. Oh, this is weird. Although, he did say-will say the Corsair was a woman a few times.

'_Yes. You seem to be going through these fairly quickly, Guardian,' _she laughed.

"Ha, ha. Laugh all you want, Sexy," I grumbled and then threatened. "But if I get thrown into a black hole because you thought it was hilarious, I'm haunting you. I don't care if you are a pan-dimensional being." I paused. "By the way how do I look?"

'_Why don't you see for yourself,' _she offered and a mirror materialized. That's still alarming, even though I shouldn't be surprised.

Hmmm… a lot taller, about 6'4" or more and a large build but lean and toned. I have chestnut brown hair in a spiked faux hawk, strong jawline, high cheekbones; I'm in my early to mid-20s and Caucasian (good, I can still tan). Blinding smile, ugh…very cheesy.

My eyes widen in suddenly realization. _Oh God! I've become Captain Jack Harkness!_

I groaned. _Think positive, think positive…_

Cool looking eyes though, central heterochromia! The center part is a golden yellow, while the outer part a bright teal-ish green. It almost looks like the Medusa Cascade, which is pretty awesome. But might be a _little_ bit alarming considering the fact a new face is on board the TARDIS without the Doctor knowing-wait. Does he?

I rubbed my (now stubbled) face in agitation and exhaled. "Do the Doctor and Donna know?"

'_No,' _she sing-songed.

"Ugh. I hate you," I grumbled.

'_No, you don't,' _she replied. I swear I can hear her smugness in that voice.

"Oh, shut it," and to prove a point of my _maturity_ level, I stuck my tongue out at the ceiling. She just laughed, the jerk.

* * *

I closed the door of my room, when I suddenly felt a dull pain in the back of my head. It started to intensify and I fell to my knees with my hands on the floor breathing heavily.

Then without warning, the pain grew stronger with images and memories of my whole life before I fell into the other universe.

My chest was heaving from the rush of information, panting from the physical, mental, and emotional pain.

'_Welcome home, Guardian,' _the TARDIS uttered sadly.

"You knew all along," I spat angrily.

'_Yes,' _she hummed sadly.

"Why?" I roared. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She sighed._ 'The same reason you didn't tell the Doctor about Pompeii," _she paused. _"It was better for you to learn in your own than a second hand tale. Plus I don't think it would have made a difference, I know for sure it wouldn't have made it any better."_

I scrubbed my face, and then massaged the back of my neck. "Why are pan-dimensional beings always right?" I laughed humorlessly.

'_Because being right hurts less than being wrong. But not always,' _she said sagely.

"Yeah, I guess."

_The Doctor is going to have a big surprise when he finds out. Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more._ I sighed.

* * *

I was showered and dressed with crazy comfortable black dress loafers, a fitted crimson dress shirt with a solid white skinny silk tie tucked in a black slim fit chinos, a fitted black vest, and the TARDIS watch.

Damn was I starving. What the hell? I mean I just ate a mountain of food just before we left the TARDIS. I feel like a goddamn pregnant woman. I wonder if I hate pears… I mean I've been to Earth before in my other life-lives and have eaten them when I was human… Are they really rubbish? …Rubbish? Why are all the people in this universe stuck with an English vernacular and accent? Never really understood that part. Wow, way off topic.

Food. Food. Food. _Where for art thou kitchen? _As soon as that thought rang out, the door to the kitchen appeared. I patted the wall appreciatively and the TARDIS hummed back contentedly while I entered the room straight for the refrigerator that was bigger on the inside. _Of course._

So while physically I was eating like I haven't eaten for days on end, I mentally thought about how to approach the Doctor and Donna.

Just then, said people burst through the door guns blazing-well 'sonics' blazing-same difference.

I was first startled to say the least and the food went down the wrong pipe. Luckily, the respiratory bypass diverted me choking to death (again) and I immediately went to drink my glass of water. I looked up from where I was sitting and smiled awkwardly; the Doctor had the look of slight anger and confusion, while Donna was just plain confused. I sighed and motioned for them to sit down. Funny how I need to introduce myself all over again, _this is so annoying._

"Good morning to you too, Theta. Ever heard of knocking?" I scolded. I shook my head at him. "Rude."

He and Donna were still staring at me ready to pounce at any sudden movements.

"What are you going to do? Put up an outrageous amount of cabinets? Unbutton my trousers?" I spoke sarcastically.

Donna snorted with a small giggle and the Doctor glared at her then looked back at me. I turned my attention back to my mountain of food and finished.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

I sighed. He really needs to stop scowling and learn patience, it looks like he's about to have an aneurysm or just really, really constipated. Maybe I should offer him a Bean-o…

"Jamie. Weeelllll, I was. But I was really the Guardian," I tried cheerily.

His eyes narrowed and glowered. I merely rolled my eyes and tried again.

'_Seriously, Theta,'_ he didn't budge. _'It's me the Guardian, one of your best friends from the Academy? My twin brother's name was Eirian also know as the Light?'_

'_Kai?' _he asks hesitantly.

I nod.

He visibly relaxed, and sat in one of the chairs in front of me, while Donna follows suit, but was still confused.

"Since no one is going to take charge, let me introduce myself, again. I'm the Guardian but you, Donna, know me as Jamie Dominguez; though I'm not sure I can pull the last name off anymore. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the House of Blyledge in the Prydonian Chapter on the planet Gallifrey, in the Kasterborous Sector. I'm 7 hundred and eighteen years old, and I was just compensating for the energy deficit," I paused. "Sorry if I ate all of the contents of the fridge again," I smiled sheepishly.

No one spoke. So I just sat there looking down at my hands. I wonder what it feels to die in the vacuum of space… Well that's a bit morbid, probably less painful than being stabbed or shot. Though there was that one time I was almost set on fire for being a "witch." Stupid Salem trials… I looked back at my "captors."

"So you're Jamie?" Donna asked quietly.

I nodded. "Yes…" I drawled out.

"But you're a man."

"I gathered. I mean the right bits are there… Pretty good size bits too," I grinned cheekily.

"Don't get cheeky with me, Timeboy," she snapped.

I smiled brightly. "So I'm Timeboy and he's Spaceman."

"You got a problem with that?" she snapped again.

"No, no, no," I said quickly. "I'm just saying we really should get t-shirts or really long flowing capes."

"But how?" she pressed.

"Well, see there's this shop in San Diego, California where they can make these epic capes and really cool graphic tees. It's—"

She swatted my arm smiling. "I mean the face and body changing bit you prawn!" she exclaimed.

"Ooooh! … You mean _genius_ here didn't explain it the last time?" I looked pointedly at the Doctor. I face palmed.

"I was busy trying to figure out how you got here!" the Doctor said defensively.

I pinched the bridge of my brow and shook my head. I looked at the Doctor. _'Theta, it's fine. I just wish you would have explained the regeneration thing to Donna though.'_ I then looked to Donna. I took deep breath and sighed."Well Time Lords have this way of cheating death called a regeneration cycle. It changes pretty much everything: new face, new body, and even a new personality. But the basics of the person are still there. And in some rare cases, even the gender changes like me," I outlined for her.

"So, how did you die?" she asked bluntly.

"A bundle of laughs you are," I playfully mocked and she stuck her tongue out at me. "You better be ready to use that tongue."

"Why? You got something in mind?" Donna fired back smiling.

I just grinned suggestively, showing what I was really thinking.

The Doctor groaned. "Oi! Stop flirting. You're worse than Captain Jack."

"Doctor, if I was worse than the Captain, Donna and I would be on this table having sex in front of you. But you and I both know I'm not like that," I laughed heartily.

"Why not?" she pouted.

"Donna!" the Doctor exclaimed.

I laughed and looked to Donna. "And to answer your original question, I don't know," I shrugged. "Maybe it was the when I smacked my head in the escape pod. Probably an intracranial hemorrhage, so one my least painful deaths."

Donna snorted. "Least painful deaths?" she exclaimed incredulously.

"Well, I've been stabbed by bull horns, shot in one of my hearts, forced regeneration through radiation poisoning, shot by a Dalek, stabbed with a javelin by Spartan, blood sacrificed, and now intracranial hemorrhage," I paused in thought. "I had a lot of violent deaths and I blame the Doctor for five of seven."

"Oi! How is you dying my fault?" the Doctor cried indignantly.

"'Oh, the 1920 Pamplona Running of the Bulls will be fun,' he says. 'It's harmless,' he says," I spat. "And oh oops! I died. You, sir, are an arse."

"I got you a banana milkshake afterwards," he tried to reason.

" You ate it before it even got to me! Plus, I **HATE **bananas," I said in a disdainful tone. Bananas are icky. Yeah, I said it. I don't care if that sounds girly. THEY. ARE. REPULSIVE. Euch!

"How can you hate bananas?" he exclaimed incredulously. "Bananas are _good_."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Just like you hate pears," I countered and continued in a softer tone. "Anyway, I want to apologize to you both for my very bat-shit crazy mood swings. I had no excuse to treat you two like that. I'm sorry and if you two aren't okay with that, then can you drop me off at the nearest galaxy?"

They looked at each, then back to me.

"No," the Doctor answered in a flat tone.

"No?" I echoed.

"No," Donna said firmly.

My brows furrowed. "Why not? I promise not cause any trouble. Cross my hearts," I tried again and even did the motion.

"Well, we—" the Doctor gestured to him and Donna. "—don't want you to go."

"Yeah, it seems more interesting with you around," Donna added.

I smiled. "Thank you. Sorry for the—umm—misunderstanding. I think it was my brain adjusting to this universe again and there were _a lot_ of stuff to sift through."

She patted my hands. "We were wondering where that was coming from," Donna laughed.

"I just thought it was that time of the month or just stress," the Doctor reasoned.

"You know what a period is?" Donna exclaimed.

"Yes, Donna. I do know human anatomy!" he cried indignantly.

This was going nowhere. I put two fingers in mouth and whistled a high pitch one. They both stopped.

"You both done?" I said in a fatherly tone, they nodded. "Do I have to separate you two?" they shook their heads. "Good."

"So, you two aren't angry at me?" I muttered softly.

"Nah, it happens to the best of us," the Doctor reassured me.

"Okay, so are we good?" I asked tentatively.

"Yeah," they said in unison.

Little did they know, the TARDIS and I just lied to them. Lied to them about my mortality.

* * *

A few hours later I found the Doctor under the console room with no Donna in sight. I hid myself in the hallway close by and blocked myself from the Doctor so he wouldn't be able to sense my presence.

'_Hey, Sweetie. Where's Donna right now?" _I asked the TARDIS but only she would be able to mentally hear it.

'_In my library,' _she answered bemused._ 'Why do you ask Guardian?'_

'_I was wondering if you could keep her there until I was finished talking to the Doctor,' _I pleaded.

'_Are you trying to get my Thief and the Most Important Woman in the Universe together?' _she surmised.

I sighed, caught and guilty. _'Yes…' _I whispered.

'_Good, I was wondering when you would finally interfere.'_

My eyes bugged.

'_Really? I thought that would cause a paradox,' _I squeaked.

She laughed_ 'Actually, not only would it fine. But my Thief would be happy again,' _she said with all love in her voice. _'What do you have in mind?'_

'_Will jealousy work to my advantage on the Doctor?'_

'_Yes, but try not to be too much. I don't want to see you in the vacuum of space,' _she cautioned.

'_Yes, Ma'am,' _I mock saluted.

I mean could they be more obvious. The whole goddamn galaxy seems to think so. Make-out, have sex or 'shag' already. Stupid bloody repressed British/Time Lord people.

"Are you okay Kai?" a voice startled me out of my musings.

I nearly put my infinite knowledge of martial arts to use on the man before I realized it was the Doctor who called to me. That would have been _very_ painful to his legs and ribcage.

"Theta, don't startle me like that," I reprimanded. "Do you really want to regenerate a little earlier than you would want?"

Well, he at least had the decency to look sheepish. "Sorry, I was just wondering if you were okay because I can no longer hear you."

He had led me to the console room where I promptly sat in the jump seat.

I lied for a cover. "I was—well, I just needed to collect my thoughts before I-I—" I quickly rambled believable enough so the Doctor wouldn't suspect a thing.

"Kai, it's okay. It's just me. Slow down," he tried to placate.

I took a deep breath and "summed up the courage." It's scary how authentic it felt even to me.

"I was wondering if I could ask Donna on a date?" I asked, a smile tugging at my lips as I saw a flash of jealousy over his features. And then it was gone, making me think as if it wasn't there at all. Oh, he's making this too damn easy.

He began to tinker with the stuff under the console and snorted, trying to laugh it off as if some joke. And God damn it, Doctor, stop trying to break her so you can fix her again. She really does not appreciate it!

"Why are you _me_ asking for permission?" asked the Doctor.

I began to circle the console itself. "Oh, because I wouldn't want to be stepping on anyone's shoes," I said trying to get some reaction out of him.

He thumped his head against the console. If that wasn't an obvious answer, I don't know what is.

He sat up. "Pfft. _Please_. We're just mates. Just good mates," he tried.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" I asked knowingly.

"No, no, no, no! That's all we are…just—mates," he said quickly but the tone for the last two words were of hidden disappointment.

"Oh, okay then. Wish me luck!" I said brightly and shook his hand.

"Good luck," the Doctor said softly.

* * *

I leaned against the arch leading to the library. Donna was hyper-focused in the book she was reading: _Traveling through Time and Space for Dummies._ Of course, why wouldn't **_we_** have that book?

So, should I ask her if she feelings for our resident Time Lord or actually ask her out? I mean they are pretty close—well they will be. Why not a little closer? I grinned to myself.

"So what's got you smiling a sunshine?" a voice asked.

Donna was at an arm's length from me with her arms crossed and was smiling, too. What is it with people in the TARDIS sneaking up on me? What about 'combat veteran' do they not understand? I inhaled deeply, and then exhaled.

"Geez, Donna!" I exclaimed. "Seriously, first the Doctor now you?"

She stepped closer and swatted my arm lightly. "Oi! Answer the question," she pressed.

"Okay, okay. No need to get abusive, Miss Noble," I put up my hands in mock defense. "Let's take a seat, shall we?"

"I thought you were happy what's going on?" she asked as we sat on the sofa.

"I am, it's just I was wondering if my estimations are correct," I answered vaguely.

"Can you be less creepy sounding when you say that?" she mocked.

"Oi! Watch it Earthgirl!" I exclaimed playfully.

"Oi! To you too! You still haven't answered my question."

"Are you in love with the Doctor?"

She spluttered. "What? No—I mean—no. Were-were—just-just mates. He and I are just mates. That's all we are! I mean it's-it's not like he likes me like that. Does he? Oh my God! Does he? NO! Of course he doesn't! He still loves that girl—umm—Rose! Yeah—umm…her! I mean he still does right? Right?" she rambled.

I just sat there grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" she huffed and averted her eyes.

Oh, come on! It can't be that easy! I mean in the other universe they were "just mates," even though the whole universe didn't seem to think so.

"Oh, nothing. Just noting how you are soooo in love with him," I teased.

"What?" she screeched. "No—no! It's-it's—just—no—it's— stop it. Stop it! Stop looking at me like that!"

I laughed. "Like what?"

She gestured at my face wildly. "Like that!"

"Whatever you say Noble," I smirked. "You can't keep running from it."

She blew an exasperated breath. "But what if—"

"What if he doesn't feel the same way back? What if he rejects you?" I asked knowingly.

Her head bobs and averts her eyes to down to her hands. I reach out and lift her chin up.

"Donna, look at me," I waited till she did. "You can keep saying 'what if' all your life and have that regret or just take a leap."

"But—" I cut her off.

"But nothing," I state firmly. "The worst thing that can happen is he doesn't return the feelings. But you move on. Because if he doesn't see you that way, it means someone out there in the vast universe is out there for you. Okay?"

She nods, but then pushes my hand away. "Wait, what's in it for you?"

"Can't I do this out of the goodness of my heart?" she quirked an eyebrow. "Okay, you caught me. I'm a closet romantic and this is my outlet. Plus you already have a pro going for you."

"And what would that be?" she retorted.

"His slight obsession with ginger hair."

"What?" she shrieked.

"Not that kind of obsession. I'm not saying it's a healthy obsession. But I'm not saying it's the one where we should called the nice people with in white coats, because I think they already did and didn't feel they could help—"

Donna cleared her throat.

"—right sorry. But I digress. I'm just saying you he's already noticed you. I swear he isn't going to ask you to put the lotion in the basket. Although, he does have an affinity for liver with some fava beans and chianti…" I trailed.

She smacks me upside my head. "Oi! Not. Helping."

"Sorry," I muttered sheepishly. "You really are violent, you know that."

She threw up her hands. "So, how are you going to help me 'woo' the Doctor?"

"Oh, not only he is going to be 'wooed,' but he's going to be hopelessly in love," I grinned evilly.

"Okay, seriously. You have to stop smiling like that. It gives me the creeps," she added with a cringe.

I huffed and stuck my tongue out at her. "Spoilsport."

* * *

**If anyone is confused, Jamie/the Guardian/scary-time-lord-legend-name is a guy now. I know "blasphemy!" Coz it was a blast for me too! :D Sorry bad pun. I know I should get out more often...**

**Anyways, thanks for reading. Please don't forget to review. :)**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	5. The Song Of Freedom

**A/N Hello. I know exciting, I'm back already. Just a heads up, there will be curse words. Jamie/Guardian is a potty mouth in general. **

**Disclaimer: If I did own Doctor Who, Donna wouldn't have had her memories erased and she would have married the Doctor to make ginger Time Babies. Just sayin'.**

* * *

_Operation: Doctor-Donna_ has been slow going. I mean I see the looks I get when I hold hands with Donna, especially when I put my arms around her waist and whisper something in her ear that makes her laugh. He looks like kicked a puppy and then set on fire. Yeah, I know. Gruesome.

There was even one time he _invited himself_ to a "date" with just Donna and I. Man, did he have it bad, he kept trying to vie for Donna's attention. Though she didn't know what to do, so it looked like she wanted to spend more time with me, when in reality she was panicking and was asking for advice. Of course, the Doctor was giving me a strained smile the whole time. I can see through that you dumbass!

What is it with so many emotionally crippled Time Lords? No wonder the Master was so angry with the Doctor, no real outlet other than world domination, which did get pretty old after a few centuries. I think I was more of the socially rounded ones… well at least I think I do.

There are times when I get so frustrated, and I try to confront him about his feelings but he just waves it off, I just want to punch the idiot. Ugh… What can you do?

I know, _Doctor-Donna_ sounds bad, but I think I know how to save her. I just need them, the Doctor and Donna, to get motivated...in a bed...

By the way, what the hell is taking that woman so long?

"Donna!" I shouted through her door. "I really don't want to be walking in the corridors when the idiot is driving!"

"Hold your horses Jamie!" she shouted back and opened the door to reveal her form. The Doctor is so lucky I only look at Donna as my little sister, if it were anyone else I'm just saying he might not be able to find us for days. "Well, don't just stand there. How do I look?"

"A. My name's not really Jamie, it's Guardian and B. More cleavage—" she cut me off.

"Oi! Now see here buster—" she snapped and swatted my arm. We began walking towards the control room.

"Ay! Before you go on some random tangent, how I'm some Space Pervert, whatever the hell that is, I was going to say that you _should_ have had shown more cleavage. _But_ I don't think giving the man _cardiac arrest_ would be such a good idea," I pointedly voiced.

"Oh," she said quietly.

I sighed. "Yeah, oh. I really _do_ have good intentions," I remarked. "Weren't you listening when I first met you two? I did say there will be a _little_ flirting, but I'm not _that_ creepy."

"Yeah, yeah," she linked arms with me, still walking. "Okay, just promise me you'll be there."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Be there? For what exactly?"

"For if he gets up the courage to ask me on a proper date," she said as if it was obvious.

I abruptly stopped us both and turned. Good thing I didn't have any liquids I was trying to drink, I think I should run for spit-take mayor or something… Sorry, off topic.

"Wha—wha—what?" I cried incredulously. "Why would be with you on _your _date? There's only supposed to be two people involved!"

"Well, I thought the Doctor was there last time, you should be there too," she responded meekly.

"Donna look at me," I ordered lightly and waited till she did. "_When_, not _if_, when he does, you'll be fine. You won't need me."

She tried to protest. "But nothing, Donna. I swear you'll be fine. Trust me. No running from monsters or exploding things. Just another peaceful evening. Plus, the TARDIS likes you."

"Really?" she asked

"Yes, really! And I can drive her properly because I actually passed the driving test unlike the Doctor. He's lucky the TARDIS helps him fly. Anyway, you'll be fine."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Cross my hearts, hope to regenerate," I motioned over my left then my right heart. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good, now that's settled. Let's get this party on the road."

We arrived at the control room, with the Doctor at the ready. He has a moment of disappointment etched on his face when we walked in arms linked, then poof! As if it never happened. That bastard better appreciate what I'm trying to do for him. Yes, I admit it's an ass-backwards way of doing it, but it's the _only way_ to actually get him to admit it.

On Gallifrey, it took almost _**two goddamn centuries**_ for him to admit his feelings for his late wife. I am **NOT **having that happen to Donna. Easy or the hard way, either way, it will happen.

* * *

The room is jostling its occupants and my lunch is deciding to want a repeat.

"Doctor, do you even know what you're doing?" Donna shouted over the noise. "Jamie—Guardian—Timeboy, whatever! Says you never passed the driving test!"

"Yeah, well—you shut up," he pointed at me playfully. I put my hands up in defense grinning. Finally, he's less angst-ridden, good.

"Set the controls to random! Mystery tour," the room finally settles. The Doctor then points behind Donna. "Outside that door could be any planet, anywhere, anywhen in the whole wide—" the Doctor paused movements and looked at Donna who is making a face. "—are you all right?"

"Terrified. I mean, history's one thing, but an alien planet..." she said in awe.

I bumped my hips with hers, grinning.** "**We could always take you home."

"Yeah, don't laugh at me, _Guardian,_" she bumped me back.

"Who's laughing? I'm not. Certainly not that madman," I pointed to the Doctor who was nodding vigorously. "It's like a rollercoaster approaching the first hill. All the emotions running through your system: Fear. Excitement. The wonder—he and I get that!"

Her eyes widen. "Seriously? After all this time?"

"Yeah! Why do you think we keep going?" I responded giddily.

She walks to the door while the Doctor and I put on our coat. "Oh! All right, then, the three of us! This is barmy! I was born in Chiswick. I've only ever done package holidays. Now I'm here. This is—I mean, it's—I dunno. It's all so—I don't even know what the word is!" she rambled quickly and ran outside with me right at her heels

"Oh, I've got the word: Freezing," she deadpanned.

"How 'bout: I might never be able to have children? Oh no, wait. That's whole sentence… Nope—yours was fine Donna," I rambled and wrapped my arms around her, trying to warm her up.

"Aren't you cold?" she asked shivering.

I had my suit from the day before except a purple fitted dress shirt and a black bow-tie on with a Sherlockian trench coat and scarf.

"Nah, not really," I answered. "Plus I can regulate my body temperature either way to accommodate for the situation."

"Really?"

I nodded and took off my coat. "Here take my coat for now. I'll get something for you in the wardrobe. Be right back, 'kay? Don't let _him _take you anywhere yet."

She nods and the Doctor then pops out just as I enter the TARDIS again.

"Where are you—" he was about to ask.

"Just getting Donna a coat from the wardrobe," I said over my shoulder.

* * *

"Okay, Sweetie. Can you get me a jacket from the wardrobe for Donna?" I asked the TARDIS.

'_You still haven't gotten them together?' _she asked. A big fluffy coat appears in my hands.

"What? It's not like I haven't been trying. They're both so frustrating. I can tell they're both in love. But apparently, it makes them extremely blind and deaf."

'_You really should hurry it up. Before the psycho bint comes back.'_

"Ah. About that… When a person rips open a TARDIS' heart—does that mean that—you know?" I asked delicately.

'_Yes,' _she spat with all the anger behind her voice. _'The "thing" abused me. She r-ra—r…'_

"You don't have to finish that sentence," I remarked softly. "_I_ would've been itching to throw her in supernova. So, why didn't you? Why did you let the Doctor give up one of his lives to her?"

'_I tried. Believe me, I tried to make him see her for what she really is. But he was so blind and really needed someone after the Time War. I couldn't take that away.'_

"Is that why you made him find Donna a second time?" I smiled softly.

'_Yes, I knew he needed someone to stop him and not just enable his bad habits. To be there, when _you _can't in that way.'_

"Wow, you love him that much don't you?"

'_Always have, always will. My Thief.'_

"So do _I_ have anyone in the future?"

"Oi Timeboy! Hurry up in there!" Donna shouted from outside, interrupting the conversation.

"Oi Earthgirl! Breath!" I shouted back. "Just give me a minute!"

Sighing I looked down at the coat. "Because right now, I feel so alone. Yes, I have the Doctor and Donna. But I don't have anyone to share something with. A love."

I started walking back to the door. _'Just keep you eyes open Guardian. You might miss an opportunity.'_

"Yeah, except I already opened someone else's… Always the martyr…" I trailed. I came back outside. "Hey, you. Here." I handed her the coat and she gave me back mine.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Better?" I asked smiling.

"Lovely," she said beaming right back.

"Comfy?" I nudged her and she took my arm walking towards the Doctor.

"Yep."

"Can you hear anything inside that?" the Doctor piped in.

"Pardon?" Donna pretended not to hear the Doctor. We sidled up to him.

"Right. I was saying, citizen of the Earth—" the Doctor tries.

At that moment a rocket flies overhead, he really loved being long winded. Donna just gasped in awe.

"A rocket. Blimey, a real, proper rocket. Now that's what I call a spaceship," she commented and lightly slapped me on the arm.

"Hey! Then what a do you called the TARDIS?" I retorted.

She snorted, as if it was some joke. "A box."

"Oi, don't mock the TARDIS," I said in defense.

"Yeah, she does like to be called a box," the Doctor agreed.

"Yeah, well, the Doctor's got a box—that guy's got a Ferrari," she reasoned and pulled me ahead. "Come on, let's see where it's going."

"Donna, you don't need to pull my arm out the socket!" I cried.

"Well, keep up then," she mocked.

I stuck my tongue out at her and she just laughed my antics.

* * *

Donna and I were gleefully skipping around the frozen planet while the Doctor had more of a subdued pace.

Suddenly I heard an ethereal song and I made Donna jerk to a stop.

"Timeboy what's your problem?" she snapped.

"Hush! Hold on—can you hear that?" I said looking for its source. "Donna, please take your hood down." The Doctor finally caught up with us and I looked towards him. "Doctor?"

"Yes, I hear it too," he mused also looking

Donna lowered her hood. "What?"

"That noise—it's like a song," I said, then I noticed a body half buried in snow. "Over there!"

Both the Doctor and I rounded to the Ood, checking it over.

"What is it?" Donna said finally catching up to us.

"An Ood… He's called an Ood," I said distractedly still checking for a pulse.

"But its face..." she protested.

"Donna, please not now. It's a 'he' not an 'it.' Please just give us hand," I pleaded.

She kneeled next to me from the Doctor.** "**Sorry," she mumbled softly.

"Doctor, I can't find a pulse," I shifted the stethoscope where there should've been a heart beating. "Do Oods have hearts?"

"I don't know. Donna, talk to him. Keep him going," the Doctor ordered also trying to find the cause or heart beat.

She leaned closer to the Ood.** "**It's all right. We've got you. Um...what's your name?"

"Designated Ood Delta 50," said Ood Delta 50.

She tried to speak into the translator ball.

"No, no, no, no. Just talk normally," I corrected.

"Sorry. Oh, God—" she sobbed. "—this is the Doctor and the Guardian. Just what you need—a doctor and a guardian angel. Couldn't be better, eh?"

_A guardian angel? Really? Wow, haven't heard that in a while_, I thought.

"He's been shot," I spat in disgust. Those bastards.

"The circle—" Ood Delta 50 tried to speak.

"No, don't try to talk," Donna cooed.

"The circle must be broken," Ood Delta 50 persisted.

"The circle? What do you mean? Delta 50, what circle? Delta 50? What circle?" the Doctor asked worriedly.

The Ood woke up with red eyes and growled like a rabid dog. But as quickly as it sat up, it fell dead.

"He's gone," Donna spoke soberly.

* * *

After that, I didn't pay attention to what was going on around me, other than a few short answers to placate Donna when she asked if anything was wrong and she held my hand to pull me along.

"Doctor?" I asked suddenly.

He turned to me. "Hmm… Yes, Guardian?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow your psychic paper."

"I don't see why not," he said handing me the parcel. "Here you go. And why the sudden interest?"

"We're going to need it pretty soon," I said running up the small incline pulling Donna along. We looked down at the factory. "Ah! Civilization! Come on, vamanos! … No, never saying that again…"

* * *

"Sorry, sorry! We're late! Don't mind us! Hello. The guards let us through," I quickly rambled after halting in front of PR lady.

"And you would be—" the PR lady asked.

"Dr. James Noble and this is my lovely wife Donna. Along with our colleague Dr. John Smith," I said smiling brightly and holding up the psychic paper.

Donna was stunned for a few seconds, while the Doctor was positively seething, before picking up again, "Representing the Noble Corporation, PLC Limited, Intergalactic."

"Must have fallen off my list. My apologies, it won't happen again. Now then, Dr. Noble, Mrs. Noble, Dr. Smith, if you'd like to come with me," she said with practiced sincerity. "Here is your information pack. Vouchers inside," handing the packet to me. "The executive suites are nice and warm."

Suddenly an alarm blares around the factory.

"Ooh, what's that? Sounds like an alarm," the Doctor said a tad bit too excitedly.

"Oh, it's just a… siren, for the end of the work shift. Now then, this way, quick as you can!" PR lady said ushering us inside.

* * *

Once inside we listened to the PR lady drone on about the Ood and just selling the whole 'we are family' persona. I probably wasn't listening as intently as I should have, because Donna pretty much had to slap my arm.

"Oi!" I protested.

"Well, pay attention then," she hissed under her breath. "And what was that me being your wife back there? Want to explain that to me, Sunshine?"

"Well, I thought since we quote unquote dating, so might as well be having fun with it," I hissed back.

"What about the whole 'wooing' the Doctor? What about that bit?" she snapped.

"Donna, he's been boring holes into me ever since I said it. If you're so gung-ho about the Doctor, why don't you snog him already? God knows I'm done with him glaring at me. I don't even think of you like that, I only love you like a sister."

"Well, next time give me a heads up or else I'll have your guts for garters," she threatened.

I grinned and nudged her. "Now, what would be the fun in that?"

She swatted my arm. "You're daft!"

"Ah, got it," the Doctor announce a little too loud after noticing Donna and I have been our own little world. "The Ood-Sphere. I've been to this solar system before-years ago. Ages. Close to the planet Sense-Sphere. Let's widen it out...the year 4126. That is the Second Great and Bountiful Human Empire."

"4126? It's 4126? I'm in 4126?" Donna said in awe and slightly bouncing in place.

"So, Donna. I wonder what year it is," I pondered mockingly. "Is it—umm—what was that again?"

She punched on the arm playfully. "4126, you numpty."

"It's good, isn't it?" the Doctor asked, probably a little too loudly again. The other representatives were looking at us weirdly. _Smile and wave, boys, just smile and wave._

Ugh, Doctor… Inconspicuous was never your style. Then again, so was having a nice relaxing day at the beach without some sort of crises or end of days kind of dilemma…

"…galaxies? Don't the Ood get a say in this?" she asked. What were they talking about?

"Umm—Doctor. What she on about?" I whispered.

He scowled at me. _Da hell? Come at me bro… _"Weren't you listening?" he hissed.

I put my hands defensively. "I was trying to remember why the quote unquote circle must be broken, this was one of the episodes," I slightly lied. What? It was…

He was still sort of glaring but conceded and sighed. "She asked if the Ood have a say in their servitude."

"Oh, right," I answered softly.

"Um...sorry, but…" Donna tapped the 1st Ood. "Hello. Tell me, are you all like this?"

"I do not understand, miss," the Ood replied.

"Why do you say, "miss?" she asked aggressively. "Do I look single?"

"Oi! What am I?" I asked mocked offended. "Chopped liver?"

"No, you're just—you," she replied grinning weakly.

I narrowed my eyes. "Oh, that makes me feel all _so_ warm inside _Miss _Donna Noble." I stuck my tongue out.

"Back to the point," the Doctor said exasperatedly.

"Yeah," she and I grinned sheepishly. Donna continued. "What I mean is, are there any free Ood? Are there any Ood running wild somewhere like wildebeest?"

"All Ood are born to serve. Otherwise we would die," the Ood said in a very confused regurgitation of information.

"You can't have started like that. Before the humans—" the Ood's head noticeably jerks. "—what were you like?"

"The circle," the Ood tried.

"What do you mean? What circle?" the Doctor asked his eyes narrowing.

_**"**_The circ—the circle—is—" the Ood repeated fruitlessly.

"Ladies and gentlemen. All Ood to hospitality stations, please," the PR lady announced.

"I've had enough of the schmoozing," the Doctor paused taking off his glasses. "Do you fancy going off the beaten track?"

"A Rough Guide to the Ood-Sphere? Works for me," Donna then turned to me. "How 'bout you Timeboy?"

"Yeah, sure," I answered in a non-committal tone.

"Yeah," the Doctor said boring holes into my head, yet again. What the hell did I do now?

* * *

We went around the complex, seeing the atrocities of the human race at the one of its basest levels. Sometimes I wonder how it was different from the 21st century. I guess, the Doctor also had the same line of thought and Donna being herself, didn't think too kindly on that.

"Is that why you travel round with a human at your side?" she snapped. "It's not so you can show them the wonders of the universe, it's so you can take cheap shots."

"Sorry," the Doctor said sheepishly.

Then she rounded to me but asked softly. "And why are you so quite lately?"

"What? I can't keep to myself now?" I countered defensively, maybe harshly than I should have. I just wanted to get out of this place as quickly as possible.

"Whoa, there Guardian," putting my hand in hers and rubbing my knuckles comfortingly. "I was just asking no need to bite my head off."

I sighed. "Sorry, I just remember why 'the circle must be broken.'" I gritted and rubbed temples.

"What do you mean?" she asked worriedly.

"Donna, you were right about the Ood not being born with those 'things' attached to them," I explained, then laughed bitterly. "Not only were they not born with them, something else was removed, their hindbrain. The Ood are born with a secondary brain. Like the amygdala in humans, it process memory and emotion. You get rid of that, you wouldn't be Donna anymore. You'd be like an Ood. A processed Ood."

"They what?" the Doctor spat.

"I know, just gets better and better," I agreed.

Just then the alarm started to go off.

"That's us, come on!" I shouted and grabbed Donna but was pulled back, though the Doctor just kept going in the other direction.

"Doctor! There's a door!" she shouted after him.

"Donna, it's no use. Plus I think we're going to find us some angry guards," I sighed in defeat.

"What?" Donna snapped.

"Don't move!" one of the guards commanded.

"Oh."

"Yep."

* * *

Those guards roughly manhandled both us and tossed into one of the partly stocked Ood containers.

"Can you help me?" she asked the Ood. But unfortunately, it had the red-eyes "Oh, no you don't."

We both made ourselves as small as possible onto the wall.

"Donna," I said softly, but still eying the Oods warily. "I'm going to need you to calm down. The Doctor will be back with us shortly."

"Calm?" she shrieked. "They're going to murder us!"

"Well, actually murder the company accomplices," I tried.

"That's not any better, Timeboy!"

"Oi! At least I was trying to see the glass half full."

"Whatever!" she conceded.

The Ood were advancing.

"You lot! Stay where you are, that's an order! I said stay!" she commanded. "Doctor! Doctor!"

"Donna…" I warned.

"I know, I know," she responded wearily. "Can he just hurry it up?!"

I was now, getting slightly panicky. They were advancing and we're still inside.

"Okay, Donna. I think I now understand why you're so anxious to get out," I squeaked. "Doctor! Doctor you arrogant prick, get us out!"

"Doctor, get us out! Doctor, get us out of here!" she shouted and pleaded.

The doors cargo doors finally opened. Oh thank God. I think I was about piss myself a little bit.

"Doctor!" Donna and I both shouted in unison and launched ourselves at the Doctor.

"There we go, safe and sound," he chirped happily.

"Never mind about us, what about them?" she said with panic.

* * *

Just as the guards began shooting the Ood, we bolted from the warehouse floors and out into one of the alleyways to catch our breath.

"If the people back on Earth knew what was going on here…" Donna began.

"Donna, don't. Don't waste your breath on this warped little bitch," I said in an eerily calm voice and step forward. "Now Solana, I'm only going to say this once. Where's Dr. Ryder," she points at the map shakily. "Thank you. Now go, before I kill you myself." She shouted for the guards.

* * *

And off we went, again. We finally stopped at one of the warehouses sonicking our way in.

"Oh, can you hear it? I didn't need the map. I should've listened!" the Doctor announced aggravated and sonicked the door shut.

"Does that mean we're locked in?" Donna asked incredulously.

"Listen. Listen, listen, listen, listen," the Doctor commanded as we began to walk around the complex.

"Oh, my head," the Doctor grimaced as we descended the steps. "Guardian?"

"Yeah, Doc. I know," I said clenching my teeth.

"And don't call me Doc. It's Doctor," he corrected.

"What is it?" Donna asked.

"Can't you hear it? The singing?" he asked Donna.

"Doctor, Donna can't. She's not a telepath," I gritted out. The lower went down the stairs, the more intense the ethereal song became.

* * *

"They look different to the others," she stated softly looking at the natural-born Ood.

"Like the Guardian said before. They weren't born with those translator balls attached to them," the Doctor explained. We squatted in front of them. "That's their song."

"I can't hear it."

"Do you want to?" I asked softly.

She looked towards me. "Yeah."

"It's the song of captivity," I warned her

"Let me hear it," she insisted.

"Face me," I commanded and opened the barriers. "Open your mind. That's it. Hear it, Donna… Hear the music."

She gasped and began to cry from the song's despair.

"Take it away," she begged

"Are you sure?" I asked softly.

"I can't bear it," she confessed as I took it away. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," as I looked on to the Ood.

"But you two can still hear it," she stated.

"All the time…Doctor, can we go inside?"

He sonicked the cage open.

"They're breaking in!" Donna exclaimed.

"Ah, let 'em," he spat. "What are you holding? Friend. Doctor, Donna, Guardian, friend. Look at me. Let me see. That's it. That's it, go on. Go on."

The Ood reveals his hindbrain.

"Is that—?" Donna breathed.

"It's a brain. As I said before, those bastards did that to the other Ood," I spat angrily. I took a calming breath and continued. "A helpless race against humanity. I'm so sorry Donna, but it's not all fun and games out here."

"So the company...cuts off their brains," she sneered.

"And stitches on the translator," I finished shaking in anger.

"Like a lobotomy. And I thought it would be so wonderful out here," she spat, shaken. "I want to go home."

The guards are have finally broken through with Halpen. I grabbed the Doctor's sonic screwdriver and locked us in the cage with the Ood.

"What you gonna do, then? Arrest me? Lock me up? Throw me in a cage? Well, you're too late! Hah!" I goaded Halpen.

* * *

"Why don't you just come out and say it? FOTO activists," Halpen sneered at us.

"If that's what Friends of the Ood are trying to prove, then yes," the Doctor shouted.

"The Ood were nothing without us—just animals roaming around on the ice," Halpen challenged.

"And who are you a lion tamer? They're people too!" I snapped. "You have no right to coerce them into slavery!"

"They welcomed it! It's not as if they put up a fight," he mocked.

"You idiot!" she brilliantly assessed. "They're born with their brain in their hands, don't you see? That makes them peaceful! They've got to be because a creature like that would have to trust anyone it meets."

"Nice one," the Doctor complimented.

"Thank you," she acknowledged.

"Aww, no other insults? I'm disappointed," I said with mock disappointment.

"Sorry… next megalomaniac. I'll do it just for you," she said in mock cheeriness.

Halpen ignored the comments. "The system's worked for 200 years. All we've got is a rogue batch. But the infection is about to be sterilized. Mr. Kess, how do we stand?"

"Canisters primed, sir. As soon as the core heats up, the gas is released. Give it 200 marks," Kess responded into the communicator. "And counting."

"You're going to gas them?!" the Doctor asked incredulously.

"Kill the livestock, the classic foot-in-mouth solution. Still works," he gloated.

The alarms began to blare.

"What the hell?" Halpen cried in confusion and left the office with Ryder and Ood Sigma.

* * *

Halpen, Ryder, Ood Sigma came back from outside.

"Change of plan," Halpen announced.

"No reports of trouble off-world, sir. It's still contained to the Ood-Sphere," Ryder informed

"Then we've got a public duty to stop it before it spreads," he ordered.

"What's going on?" I shouted.

"Everything you wanted, Dr. Noble," he spat. "No doubt there'll be a full police investigation once this place has been sterilized so I can't risk a bullet to the head. I'll leave you to the mercies of the Ood."

"But, Mr. Halpen, there's something else, isn't there? Something we haven't seen," I stalled.

"What do you mean?" Donna asked.

**"**The creature couldn't survive with a separate forebrain and hindbrain, they'd be at war with themselves. There's got to be something else, a third element. Am I right?" I explained.

"Again, so clever," he mocked.

"It's got to be connected to the red-eye. What is it?" I nearly shouted.

"It won't exist for very much longer," he spat. "Enjoy your Ood."

* * *

"Well, do something, Doctor! You're the one with all the tricks! You must've met Houdini!" Donna snapped.

"These are really good handcuffs!" the Doctor defended.

"Oh, I'm glad of that. At least we've got quality!" Donna shrieked.

"Donna, take a chill pill," I reassured her. "We'll get out of this, I promise."

"We better, or I'll haunt you!" she threatened.

"You make it as if you haunting me is bad thing," I grinned. "I rather enjoy your company, Madame."

"As I you, my good Sir," she grinned back.

"Oi! We have more pressing matters other than haunting in the afterlife!" the Doctor snapped at us.

"Right…" I agreed, Donna and I looking back at the increasingly creepy Oods.

* * *

Our voices began overlapping as we cried out 'Doctor, Donna, Guardian, friends!' and 'The circle must be broken.' Until, finally the eyes went back to normal.

"Doctor. Donna. Guardian. Friends," the Ood agreed.

"That's me! Us!" Donna chirped.

"Oh, thank God," I breathed in relief.

"Yes, that's us! Friends! Oh, yes!" the Doctor shouted in happiness and relief.

* * *

You know that running thing, it seems I won't need the gym for a few centuries after this.

An explosion rocks us to the ground, the smoke moved to reveal Ood Sigma.

"Oh, hello Ood Sigma. How's life treating you?" I chirped.

"It's been better, Guardian," he replied.

"What the—? Oh, of course. You would know my name," I said resignation. "So, off to warehouse 15 then?"

* * *

With a nod, we were off to see a giant brain. It's much more interesting than it sounds, seriously. It's not like you see that at Ikea, though I wouldn't be surprised if they sold those, maybe in plush form. Probably should be listening instead of talking inside my head.

"The Ood brain. Now it all makes sense. That's the missing link. The third element, binding them together. Forebrain, hindbrain and this. The telepathic centre. It's a shared mind...connecting all the Ood in song," the Doctor explained as we looked over the railing to the Ood brain.

"Cargo. I can always go into cargo," Halpen said, a gun raised at us. "I've got the rockets, I've got the sheds. Smaller business. Much more manageable without livestock."

"He's mined the area," Dr. Ryder explained.

"You're gonna kill it," Donna gasped.

"They found that thing centuries ago beneath the northern glacier," Halpen informed us.

"Donna, those pylons," I whispered.

"In a circle. 'The circle must be broken,'" she continued.

"Dampening the telepathic field, stopping the Ood from connecting for 200 years," the Doctor finished.

"And you, Ood Sigma, you brought them here. I expected better," Halpen said in mock disappointment.

"My place is at your side, sir," Ood Sigma replied.

"Still subservient. Good Oo—" Halpen tried to say.

"If that barrier thing's in place, how come the Ood started breaking out?" Donna asked.

"Maybe it's taken centuries to adapt. The subconscious reaching out," the Doctor theorized.

"Dr. Ryder, you have something to add to the class, don't you?" I said in a calm voice.

"How did you—?" Ryder questioned.

"Just explain it, doctor."

"Right. See, the process was too slow, it had to be accelerated. You should never have given me access to the controls, Mr. Halpen. I lowered the barrier to its minimum. Friends of the Ood, sir," he paused. "It's taken me ten years to infiltrate the company. And I succeeded."

"Yes. Yes, you did," Halpen replied and promptly threw him over the railing into the Ood brain.

"You...murdered him," Donna spat. I pulled her behind the Doctor and I.

"Very observant, Ginger. Now then, can't say I've ever shot anyone before...can't say I'm gonna like it, but, uh, it's not exactly a normal day, is it? Still…" Halpen mocked.

"Would you like a drink, sir?" Ood Sigma offered.

"I think hair loss is the least of my problems right now, thanks," Halpen laughed.

"Please have a drink, sir," Ood Sigma insisted while standing in Halpen's way.

"If-if you're gonna stand in their way, I'll shoot you too," Halpen threatened weakly.

"Please have a drink, sir," Ood Sigma persisted.

"Have-have you...poisoned me?" Halpen asked incredulous.

"Halpen, you really should have been paying closer attention to who you let into _your circle_. Sigma didn't poison you, no," I sneered. "He was much more cruel, in a way."

"What is that stuff?" the Doctor asked.

"Ood-graft suspended in a biological compound," I stated. "Am I correct, Sigma?"

"Correct, sir," he confirmed.

"What the hell does that mean?" Halpen asked panicking as he was looking very ill.

"Oh…dear," the Doctor said realizing what that meant.

"Yep," I said popping the 'p.' I smirked.

"Tell me!" Halpen begged

"The funny thing about the subconscious. Takes all sorts of shapes. It came out in the red-eye as revenge. It came out in the rabid Ood as anger. And then there was patience," I explained with a small laugh. "All that intelligence and mercy focused on Ood Sigma. How's the hair loss, Mr. Halpen?"

"What have you done?" Halpen demanded Ood Sigma.

"Oh, they've been preparing you for a very long time. And now you're standing next to the Ood brain," the Doctor continued. "Mr. Halpen, can you hear it? Listen."

Halpen then begins to transform into an Ood.

"They—they turned him into an Ood?" Donna gasped.

"Yup," the Doctor confirmed

"He's an Ood," Donna stating the obvious.

"We've noticed," the Doctor replied.

Ood Halpen then coughs up his secondary brain.

"Oh, I'm not having calamari for a while. Or any kind of seafood for that matter, " I breathed.

"He has become Ood-kind and we will take care of him," Ood Sigma stated.

"It's weird, being with you two. I can't tell what's right and what's wrong anymore," Donna realized.

"It's better that way. People who know for certain tend to be like Mr. Halpen," the Doctor reassured and ran towards the detonation pack. "Oh! That's better. And  
now... Ood Sigma, will you allow me the honour?"

"It is yours, Doctor," Ood Sigma confirmed.

"Oh yes! Stifled for over 200 years but not anymore. The circle is broken. The Ood can sing!" the Doctor exclaimed while shutting off the electrical pylons.

"I can hear it!" Donna gasped in happiness.

* * *

"The message has gone out. That song resonated across the galaxies. Everyone heard it. Everyone knows. The rockets are bringing them back. The Ood are coming home," the Doctor stated.

"We thank you, Doctor-Donna-Guardian, friends of Ood-kind. And what of you now? Will you stay? There is room in the song for you," Ood Sigma asked.

"Oh—I've—I've sorta got a song of my own, thanks," the Doctor tried.

"I think your song must end soon," Ood Sigma prophesized and then turned to me. "As is yours Guardian."

"Aww, what? That's just not fair. I like this me," I grumbled.

"Ignore him. Meaning?" the Doctor asked.

"Every song must end," Ood Sigma replied.

"Yeah," the Doctor said spooked. "Um, what about you, Donna? Do you still want to go home?"

"No. Definitely not," Donna answered firmly.

"How 'bout you, Guardian? Will you stay?" the Doctor asked hesitantly.

"And what? Have you get all the fun? Nah, I'll stay here with my best friends," I smiled.

"Then we'll be off," the Doctor said to Sigma.

"Take this song with you," Ood Sigma offered.

"We will," Donna accepted and held my hand. I took the Doctor's, who was surprised at first, but took it gladly.

"Always," the Doctor acknowledged.

"And know this, Doctor-Donna-Guardian, you will never be forgotten. Our children will sing of the Doctor-Donna-Guardian, and our children's children, and the wind and the ice and the snow will carry your names forever," Ood Sigma promised as we entered the TARDIS to anywhere and anywhen.

* * *

**Well, that went okay... As for the next chapter, it will finally get the Doctor and Donna to that special place where we can all sing campfire songs and eat Girl Scout cookies or Jammie Dodgers or Jelly Babies or any confection you prefer. So review please. And it would also be nice to have some ideas from you guys on how/why it happens. Till the next time.**

**Avengers, Assemble! *cough,cough* Sorry, wrong fic... Allons-y!**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	6. Part 1: When The Cat's Away

**A/N Well it's that time again. I know this is a bit short compared to other ones but I'm still working on the second part.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything, you guys would be the first to know. Well, my mom first. So you guys are a strong second.**

* * *

Two screams made me jump out my bed and run to the source of the distress, which was the Doctor's room coincidentally. I heard a muffled argument inside.

I knocked on the door. "Doctor? Is everything alright?" I shouted through the door knowing full well what's happened.

He begins to splutter incoherent sounds. I swear I heard few Gallifreyan curses mixed in English ones as well. "Yeah, yeah. Just—just fine…"

"Okay," as I was about to leave I turn back to torment him and Donna. "Doctor?"

"Yes Guardian?" he responded shakily and few hushed whispers with Donna, I'm guessing.

"Well, I was looking for Donna and I didn't find her in her room, because I heard two screams. One was distinctly yours and then the other distinctly hers. Have you seen her by any chance?" I smirked.

Pause button. Yes, I found one on the TARDIS. Pretty cool device, except when you forget to press play and things don't work properly. Anyway, back to the point. You might be wondering what's happened, Invisible-Person-In-My-Head. We'll let's just say a few cups of tea and some tablets, untraceable even to Time Lord senses, were involved.

* * *

_After that exhausting day at the Oodsphere, I just needed a cup of tea. Okay, I meant the whole kettle. I had the TARDIS blare "Old Time Rock n' Roll" by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band in the kitchen. I was doing the dance scene in "Risky Business" because, well, there was nothing else to do. I had on boxer-briefs, the purple fitted dress shirt that was semi-unbuttoned with nothing underneath, and black dress socks. Yes, I know it was white calve socks, but that's what I had on._

* * *

_I was so into making tea and dancing to the music that I didn't hear the other two passengers watching until one of them sneezed. I swiftly turned around. I was caught red handed, but instead of making a scene, I just went with the flow._

"_Sweetie, can you turn off the music?" I asked the TARDIS and the music turned off abruptly._

"_Hey, guys!" I chirped to both them._

"_That's not even fair," Donna pointed accusingly._

_I laughed. "What? What isn't fair?"_

_She gestured vaguely on my body. "That."_

_I made my tea and sat in one of the stools at the island counter. "Ooohh… 'That.' Right… I'll get on it as soon as possible. Just to be sure though, can you be more specific of what 'that' is?" I smirked._

"_Your body, is that actually real?" she asked exasperatedly. "I mean that's just not fair."_

_I laughed even harder. "Last time I checked, this is real. At least I hope it is and I'm not just some non-corporeal being with a weird fascination with Time Lords and ginger humans… Anyway, what can I do you for?"_

_The Doctor cleared his throat. "Well, it was that scene with Solana…"_

_I took a small sip of my tea and sighed. "Yeah sorry 'bout that, I usually give people a chance. I really do," I paused to take another sip. "I mean I do try to find the good in people, I swear. But I already knew she was going to hide behind a façade, denying that there's isn't anything wrong with treating those Ood like cattle…"_

_There small pause and they looked at each locked into a silent conversation. I sat there drinking my tea peering over the cup to see when the 'married couple' was done 'discussing.' Then they finally looked back at me. I set the mug down seeing as I finished it while they were playing domestics on the other side of the counter. _

"_Okay… I'm sensing that wasn't the problem…" I mused looking at the both of them. "Can _one_ of you two elaborate?"_

"_Well, it was when your voice was eerily calm, which creeped the hell out me by the way," Donna blurted out. "Your eyes were glowing bright gold."_

_My eyebrows furrowed. So they saw that, huh? Oops... I'll play dumb to see where this goes. I know cruel and usual punishment, but I never did see what was so scary about it._

"_My eyes did what now?" I asked calmly._

"_Well, they were glowing. Very brightly and your voice sounded—" the Doctor responded this time._

"_Ethereal," Donna supplied with an uneasy smile._

"_Yeah, that's the word," the Doctor agreed._

_I flicked my gaze to just the Doctor and gave him my best scrutinizing stare. They probably saw my eyes flicker because they both flinched then relaxed, but not by a whole lot._

"_Have you seen it do that before, Doctor?" I asked without a trace of emotion. _

"_Yes, actually," the Doctor visibly gulped._

_Am I that scary? What happened to the carefree blithering idiot best friend? Probably should stop now. _I'm_ starting to scare me. Don't want what the Daleks and a myriad of different enemies called me to actually come out…_

_It won't be fun for either party. I suppressed a shudder just thinking about it._

_I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose not in agitation, but to sell the whole 'act.' "Why didn't you or any of the Deca tell me?" I growled without even opening my eyes._

"_Well, we thought it would just bring it out and it actually scared the Master whenever you did the eye glow-y thing," he rambled to explain, quite poorly. "And that's saying something considering he's tad bit insane…"_

_I took a deep breath while inside my head I was having the biggest giggle fit I've had in a while, I probably shouldn't be considering the two people in front of me are radiating waves of panic. It took a little more concentration than I've had to in the past. Although, to the outside company it looked like I was in pain or agony from the way my face was cast down and my eyebrows knitted together. Plus, I haven't opened my eyes yet, which was probably disconcerting._

"_You 'kay there, Timeboy?" Donna asked tentatively, breaking the silence. Ha. The Silence._

_I blew out a sharp exhale and finally looked up with a stoic mask._

"_I'm fine, not okay. Just fine," I answered and added a gentle smile. "I made tea, so help yourselves. I'll be in the Zero Room if anyone needs me."_

_I immediately left before they could speak again. Little did they know that I laced their tea with two tablets that left the takers' inhibitions greatly reduced. I was getting desperate so sue me. And the TARDIS even supplied it for me, which was odd. But I'm not going to look the gift horse in the mouth._

* * *

_I went to the Zero Room to sift through my thoughts, emotions, and a few memories that had been filtering through the last few days and had the TARDIS deadlock the door until the coast was clear and I'm able to get back to my own room._

_I had so much spare time and I was starting to get bored. A bored Time Lord is a dangerous one. I showered and put on a fresh fitted black three-piece suit with a red silk skinny tie, black dress loafers, and a Belstaff 'Milford style' coat. So, I piloted the TARDIS and even used the stabilizers. I know! Crazy!_

_I went to planet after planet just looking for trouble. But nothing. Not even a revolution to kick-start. It's as if the universe decided to play a stupid mind-game. When we don't want trouble, it finds us anyway. But when we come looking for it, it disappears._

* * *

_Suddenly a brainwave, I put in the coordinates and start pulling levers, pushing buttons, and twisting a few knobs until I finally landed where I wanted to be._

"_Should I really be doing this?" I pondered out loud._

'You're the one who thought it was a good a idea,' _the TARDIS responded._

"_Yeah, well… You're the pan-dimensional being, why didn't you stop me?" I groaned._

'Well, it is going to be the first time _you_ meet her,' _the TARDIS reasoned._

_Needless to say, the respiratory bypass almost decided not to work and it took me a few moments to finally get to breathing again. _

"_What?" I yelped._

'Just go out there and stop being a chicken!'

_I started walking towards the door. "Alright, alright. No need to get pushy."_

_I finally made it out of the threshold and into the dark and stormy night. My hearts were thumping, I felt like they were about burst out of my chest. Why am I so nervous? Oh right, because she can probably disarm me with that sexy smile and make me a blithering idiot._

_I found a computer terminal to find which building and 'department' she was in: Building D, Cell Block W, cell number 11._

_I was walking down the corridor, getting nearer and nearer. My palms were getting very sweaty. I've faced monsters that made mere mortals run, saved the universe a few times, and I've even laughed at the face of Death. What the hell is wrong with me?_

* * *

_At last, I faced the cell and there she was, grinning like a cat got the canary._

_I gulped._

"_Hello, Sweetie."_

* * *

**Dun, dun, dun. I wonder who that is? Does this mean we get to meet the Eleventh Doctor? Who knows, review or PM any ideas.**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	7. Part 2: TARDIS Joyrides,Prison,Womanhood

**A/N This is still a continuation of the flashback from the previous chapter. There is one more after this and then business as usual, somewhat.**_  
_

**Disclaimer: No matter what BBC, Steven Moffat, or anyone else for that matter says-I do not own Doctor Who. I wouldn't be writing this online and I would have much more decent college housing than what I have now.**

* * *

_I really should say something instead of gaping at her like a fish._

_I cleared my throat. "Dr. River Song, I presume."_

_River quirked her left eyebrow. "Is there something wrong, Sweetie?"_

_I scratched the back of my neck, coughed, and averted my eyes._

_"No, nothing at all," I squeaked. Yeah, failed that one._

_"Kai, I know you're not telling me the truth. Now tell me what is it?" concern laden in her voice._

_Wha—? I've never told anyone my Academy name, and even the Doctor only uses it when we're alone. How did she know it was me in the first place? I wonder if knows my actual name… Oh God, what if she's my wife!? Breathe! In and out, in and out. Don't pass out!_

_"Sweetie, you still haven't answered me," River pulling me out of my thoughts._

_I looked back into her eyes, even when showing concern she still has that mischievous glint in them._

_I blew out a slow exhale and rubbed my face._

_"Let me get you out there first and into the TARDIS, then we can talk. Pack everything you need. Okay?" I said softly._

_She nodded and was done in a few minutes. I used the sonic screwdriver to open the cell, which I forgot to give it back to the Doctor… I hope he doesn't get mad. Yeah, helping a convict escape is really getting on his good side, right?_

_As soon as it swung open, the alarms began to blare throughout Stormcage._

_I grinned at her and she grinned back. I held out my hand. "Well, basically…" I trailed hoping she'd get the joke._

_"Run," she finished and we ran hand in hand back to the TARDIS._

* * *

_As soon as we reached the door, I pulled it open taking River through the threshold and closing the doors behind me._

_"River, can you start the dematerialization sequence and get us to the Vortex?" I asked still standing at the door while she was already standing at the console._

_She raised her eyebrows. "You never ask me to do that by myself, unless you have something very serious to talk about," she responded. But did so anyway._

_I sat at the jump seat wondering how to tell this woman, that this is the first time I'm meeting her and yet I already know large aspects of her life. A big ball wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey, stuff. Christ._

_I was so deep into thought that I didn't notice her sit across my lap and began playing with my hair, not until she laid her head on my shoulder and began humming an old Gallifreyan lullaby. I jumped a little because of her display of familiarity and affection._

_She smirked at me. "It's not like we haven't done that before. I believe we've done worse."_

_I choked on the air I was breathing while she just laughed in that deep sultry sound._

_"Well… it-it's because we haven't," I managed to voice out finally._

_She immediately stood up, eyes swimming with alarm. "To which one?" she asked hesitantly._

_I pulled her back down to my lap, for some reason, I kinda liked her being there, it's as if she's meant to be there. That's weird…but in a good way._

_I sighed and put my arms around her waist loosely._

_"Both of them," I said in a resigned voice._

_She tried to squirm away, but I held even tighter. "Let go! I—I ha—"_

_"River, it's okay. Seriously, it's fine," I tried to reassure her. "Look at me, am I fussing?"_

_River finally stopped to looked at me and sighed. "How early is this for you?"_

_Crap. I was hoping she wasn't going to ask._

_"Very, very early… So early…that this is the first time I'm meeting you," I answered quietly and by the end my voice squeaked._

_She had her face cast down at the time, but as soon as I finished that sentence her head snapped to mine._

_"What?" she said so quietly that I might of not heard her._

_I took a breath and blew it out sharply. "This is my first time meeting you, River Song."_

_Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "But how? How can you know me without meeting you first?"_

_"It's complicated… More complicated than the whole we're meeting each other in the wrong order. Which is pretty damn annoying. I know the large spoilers in your life, well, most of it. Since I dropped back into this universe, I probably changed a few by a little. Nothing major, I hope…" I spoke quickly._

_"Sweetie," I looked into her eyes. "You're rambling."_

_"Oh, right," I paused. "We really should get this show on the road. Don't want the Doctor to see you. You two haven't met in his timeline yet."_

_We both got up and I started setting the coordinates to a planet I haven't been in a while since my fourth regeneration._

* * *

_It was odd that even though we both didn't plan it, it was almost a rhythmic dance we did while flying the TARDIS and laughing in euphoric glee._

_The TARDIS landed in a gentle thud. And we started walking towards the door when she stopped in front of me._

_"Where is that insufferable man?" she asked with._

_I raised my eyebrow. "River, I think you have to be more specific. I know a lot of insufferable men," I laughed lightly._

_"You know which one I'm talking about. He's THE Insufferable Man," she mocked._

_I pushed her out gently into the nice warm sunny air. And walked around the beautiful landscape._

_She beamed at me. "We're in Felspoon," she breathed._

_"Yup, I thought we should get to know each other before we try to save millions of lives. Anyway back to your original question—" I had a mischievous glint in my eyes. "Do you know Donna?"_

_"Yes, of course I know her. She's the most important woman in the whole of creation and what does that have to do with anything?" she smiled like there was a secret and isn't allowed to tell anyone._

_"It has everything to do with it and you're no fun. Care to share with the class you're hiding?" I smirked._

_"No!" she laughed. "Sweetie, sweetie. I can be a lot of fun. Especially if you're around," tracing the outline of my collarbone._

_I felt my body shudder. What is she doing to me?_

_"River, you're the only woman who can make me brain mush in point zero two seconds," I said smiling. "How do you do that?"_

_"Oh, just a little talent I picked up," she said smiling back._

_I just smirked and shook my head. "Well, anyway, have I told you how I got the Doctor and Donna together?"_

_"No," she breathed. "How?"_

_Wait, what? So it did work! "You just gave me spoilers by the way," I teased._

_She just stuck her tongue out and then mock pouted. But I could see the gleam in her eyes, urging me to go on with the story._

_"Well, anyway, there's this tablet derived from a plant on this planet that makes the victims' sexual inhibitions greatly reduced and right now—" she cut me off with a bark of laughter._

_"No!" she squealed in delight and swatted my chest lightly. "So they're—?"_

_"Oh, yes," I laughed. "And I laced their tea with the tablet."_

_"Isn't the Doctor going to know you're using his TARDIS for a joy ride?" she asked with incredulity._

_"I asked the TARDIS to put a mini-Time Lock on their room until I'm done with whatever we're going to do."_

_She grinned. "Oh, you are positively evil!" she laughed._

_I smirked. "I only learn from the best."_

_She just shook her head, still smiling. "But how did the Doctor not notice? He keeps nattering on about 'Superior Time Lord biology.'"_

_"Do I say that?" I asked with genuine curiosity._

_"No, sweetie," she reassured. "So how?"_

_"The compound itself is untraceable to a Time Lord let alone human taste buds."_

_She quirked her eyebrows at me. "Wouldn't they be suspicious of you not drinking the tea with them?"_

_"Well, I made own separate batch before they walked in to talk to me."_

_Her face scrunched up and had curiosity etched all over it._

_"What did they want?" she asked softly. Almost hesitant in asking, she probably thought I wouldn't answer._

_I stopped and turned to her._

_"I'm guessing that you've seen my eyes glow before?" I asked for confirmation._

_She nodded._

_"Well, there was a incident where I didn't even give the person a chance to redeem themselves because I already knew they weren't worthy of such a thing. And well, that came out during the time."_

_She blinked. "Oh."_

_"Elegant word choice there Doctor Song," I teased and we began walking again._

_"It's just you're not very open when I asked about it before," she reasoned._

_I nodded. "Well, there's a reason I try not to use that very often," I paused. "If it starts to happen, it's a good indication on how dire the situation is. Like a mood ring."_

_"Yeah… A scary mood ring," she laughed._

_Then I had a sudden brainwave about Donna and her future reaction for my meddling. I subconsciously rubbed my cheek tenderly and River caught my action. To which she promptly began laughing quite animatedly whilst still mocking me because she knew where my line of think was at the moment._

_Unfortunately, we were on a very steep slope and she fell 'Princess Bride' style down the slope when she slipped on the wet grass. And of course I had to follow the same way. Damn it, I **really** liked this suit. Ah, level 11 planet problems…_

_"Geronimo!" I shouted as I rolled down the steep decline._

* * *

_Rolling the hill wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, although River was shouting curses and a few 'I hate you's' to which I responded with 'No, you don't' and just laughing the whole way down._

_I face landed on something firm, yet soft at the same time. This is nice, maybe I'll stay like this until the world stops spinning._

_"Sweetie?" River asked._

_"Mmhm?" I responded._

_"As much as I like this position, don't you think this is a bit compromising?" amusement laced in her voice._

_I moved to look into her eyes. "What are you—? Oh…" I paused and smiled coyly. "Did you really mind?"_

_She just laughed. "Oh, even now you're still more comfortable than the Doctor would ever be."_

_I stood up and pulled her along with me._

_"Well, it probably helps that I was a girl a few times," I shrugged._

_"You what?" she shrieked._

_I face palmed. Hard. I sighed. I seemed to be doing that a lot. I hate me in the future, but I guess it makes sense since he's already said this to River in his timeline already. Right, I should probably be paying attention to her._

_"You know Time Lord biology, right?" I asked._

_She nodded her head. "Yes. But I've never heard about this! So, you being a woman?!"_

_Ugh, of course ontological paradoxes. How I hate thee!_

_"Well, anyway. There are some genetic quirks in a Time Lord's DNA. Most Time Lords stay one gender throughout their entire lives, like the Doctor and I doubt that's change anytime soon. Sometimes, though not all the time, regenerations can change genders," I paused waiting for any questions. Seeing none, I continued. "I've been a woman about three times. The only thing weird thing about it was that the Doctor actually flirted with me incidentally."_

_"What? Seriously?" she smirked._

_"Yeah, I know," I shook my head. "I think it was because my second time being a woman was ginger and he had a thing for them. It was sort of weird trying to make him realize that he was flirting with his then male turned female best friend."_

_"I don't suppose he had the shock of his life," she laughed._

_"Yeah, it was weird trying to stop his advances on me. Although he had his own regeneration's mental break to deal with, so I cut him so slack," I looked at her as we stepped over a log. "It was his sixth one after all."_

_"Oh, I've heard of that one. Isn't he the one with the very mismatched and colorful costume?"_

_I laughed. "That's a mild way of putting it, but yes. He was kind of a pretentious ass during that time. I'm glad Mel and Peri made him mellow a bit, or else I might have cause him to regenerate again. "_

* * *

_We continued to talk about everything and nothing as we walked. I was starting to hear a few pairs of footsteps behind us. I need to warn River, if she doesn't already know, which is bloody unlikely. So much for trying not to assimilate British slang._

'River? You there?'_ I mentally asked._

'Yes, Sweetie? Something wrong?'_ she replied._

'Okay, good. You can hear me… I was just wondering if you've noticed the extra feet that have been following us for a good hour?'

'Yes, of course. Do you think we should tell them we know they're there?'

'Eh. I'd like to know where this leads. What do you think?'

'Sure, why not.'

_I paused at a large tree. _'Just have your sonic blaster ready if this gets ugly.'

_She looked at me in shock. _'How did you—?'

_I smirked. _'I can see the perception filter.'

_She raised her eyebrows. _'I thought you didn't like guns.'

_I motioned for us to keep walking. "I don't. I totally support the Doctor's policy on guns. I just don't have as much a problem as he does."_

_"But you don't say that when the Doctor's around," she said as we were nearing a large clearing._

_"Is the Doctor around?" I asked. "I don't exactly like the long-winded lectures about them."_

_"Okay, whatever then."_

* * *

_After twenty more minutes of nothing happening, I got really bored._

'This is getting tiresome. Want to just get it over with?'_ I asked exasperatedly._

_'_I thought you'd never ask. You want to do it or shall I?'_ she responded tiredly as well._

_'_You do it. I just wanted some peace and quiet before we went on our real adventure.'

_We both stopped and turned around expecting for no one to be visible. But apparently they were both noisy and stupid. The group consisted of large men in what I thought of as the henchmen uniform in Bond films. I wonder if we're going to actually meet a Bond villain: Nehru jacket, creepy scar, and white cat. And oh the whole world—well universe—domination thing…_

_"So what do we owe the pleasure of being stalked, noisily I might add?" she challenged._

_One of the bigger men stepped forward and addressed me._

_"We have orders from our master to take you into custody," he growled._

'Well, that's just rude,'_ I spoke to her. '_I bet you can take him down in seven moves.'

'Actually, four,'_ she smirked at me._

_"You have no idea how sexy that is,"I growled. Damn, she has me under thumb and it's not even a whole day yet. I am weak willed._

_She batted her eyelashes and licked lips seductively._

_"I think I can," she replied smirking._

_The big guy cleared his throat. "What is your response?"_

_"What if we refuse?" I managed to say evenly even though my thoughts were betraying me right now._

_Inappropriate was putting it mildly. What the hell? Did she give me something hallucinogenic?_

_"Then you die," he responded without emotion pulling me out of my very, very wrong thoughts._

_Well that escalated quickly._

* * *

**Thank you for those who reviewed, followed, favorited, and or just lurked. It keeps me writing. Oh, and I jump up and down like a fangirl when I see the emails from you guys... Okay, I hyperventilate, too...  
**

**Until next time.**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	8. Part 3: Doctor Oblivious is Oblivious

**A/N: Hello all! Sorry for the wait. I just had trouble wrapping up the whole thing. I hope this didn't suck and if does, well, I'm sorry.**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill. Stop, drop, and- Oh. Sorry. I mean, I don't own Doctor Who and its affiliates, other than some merchandise. But that's probably the extent. Oops! Rambling, anyway...**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_In the end, River and I saved the universe from a power hungry mad man hell bent on taking over the universe. You know same old, same old. Then we went to Barcelona, the city not the planet, for some chocolate milkshakes, starting few revolutions or seven and a shopping spree for River since she's not getting out for a while, what with twelve thousand consecutive life sentences._

_The TARDIS landed with a thud. Then a low and soft humming permeated the whole room._

"_So this is it for now," I said facing her and she facing me._

"_Yeah," she said looking back at me._

"_You should get going," I stated awkwardly._

_She nodded. "Okay," she smiled weakly._

_We were both walking down the ramp; when I did something I wasn't supposed to. _I was_ just supposed to escort River back to her cell and be back on my merry way._

_Apparently, there were some wires that crossed inside my jumbled up Time Lord brain and I pulled her towards me for a passionate, yet gentle kiss. But my confidence stuttered when she didn't respond. I pulled away slowly, waiting for the 'Donna Solution to Inappropriate Things' slap._

"_I'm sorry! I—" I started but she cut me off with a kiss, putting her arms around my neck and pulled me closer. I was surprised at first, but slowly relaxed into the moment._

_I ghosted my tongue on her lips starting with the top then the bottom, still tasting a hint of chocolate from earlier and some mint, which elicited a low moan in response. Not to be outdone, she sucked my bottom lip between her teeth, scraping it a little, sending shivers down my spine. She finally parted her lips and I angled myself to better accommodate her. Our tongues began to glide over each other and suck in equal amounts._

_As this happened my hands began to move; first all over her back, into her hair to hold her head in place and then down, to her bottom; while her hands caressed my neck and lightly scraping my scalp. We both hungrily explored each other not wanting to stop but seeing the black spots made it dangerous to keep going._

_I looked into her dark lust filled eyes, begging for something more. I rested my forehead on her hers._

"_Are you sure we should be doing this?" I asked hoarsely and still panting._

_She traced her index finger on my collarbone and my eyes fluttered shut and internally shuddered. When she pulled back gently, I opened my eyes to see the mischievous glint back and roaring._

_She smirked like a cat got the canary._

"_Yeah, I don't think we should," she paused. "Unless… you want to something?"_

_YES-yes-yes-yes! HELL TO THE YES!_

_I cleared my throat. "Umm… Yeah best not," I replied, both of us walking towards the door and stopping at the threshold. "Should I escort you back?"_

"_No, it's okay," she smirked. "Plus you need to get the Doctor and Donna out of that mini Time Lock you put them in."_

_I nodded and chuckled. "Yeah, see you around Dr. Song?"_

"_Oh, you'll see me." And with that, she walked off further into the prison. I started the dematerialization sequence into the Vortex._

* * *

_I was still grinning like a lovesick puppy, when the TARDIS began talking._

'So when do you want me to unlock the Time Lock?' _she asked._

_I jumped a few feet in the air. "Omega! Hearts attack much?!" I yelped._

_She just laughed, amused by me. _'Well?'

_I took a deep calming breath and sighed._

"_I'm going to sleep. It's been a long few weeks. So unlock it when I finally do fall asleep."_

'Night-night, don't let Donna's slap bite,' _she sing-songed cruelly._

_I started towards my room and pointed accusingly at the ceiling._

"_Oi! That's not funny, alright," I warned._

_She just kept laughing, the mean old lady._

* * *

This now brings us back to the present predicament. The Doctor and Donna in a compromising position and loudly whispering a way to get out without me catching them, even though I already knew the raunchy details of this hilarious affair.

"Ah… No, I haven't seen her…" the Doctor called through the door then more hushed whispers. "…maybe she's wandering the halls. Why what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just…" I paused deliberately. "Never mind Doctor. Sorry to have bothered you."

I waited for him to bite on the 'bait.'

"No, no, no, no. Wait!" he opened the door. "It's just what?"

I determinedly looked the Doctor in the eyes as to not be distracted by his slight nakedness. I cleared my throat pointedly. But he still didn't get the problem.

"Doctor, do you mind closing your robe?" I asked delicately.

It took him a seconds to what that meant. He blushed furiously and I shook my head while chuckling in my amusement.

"Well, it's just she seemed more distant from me and talks about you more than most girlfriends should," I lied. "I think she's in love with you Doctor."

The only thing the man was able to do was gape at me like a fish and splutter.

"I—uh—um" I cut him off.

"I just hope you let her down easily," I said 'sadly.'

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why's that?"

"Well, you said that you don't have any feelings for Donna. Remember?" I teased.

"Oh, right. Um—yeah…" he sputtered awkwardly.

I slumped my shoulders 'dramatically.'

"Can you just tell Donna, if you happen to see her, to meet me in the library?" I glibly asked.

He nodded a little too enthusiastically.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure, Guardian," he replied with vigor.

With that I turned to go back to my room and shower, leaving the Doctor to Donna to deal with… I can already feel a slap coming in my near future. Shit.

* * *

Showered and dressed in a fitted white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up the elbows and the two top buttons were not buttoned, a V-neck double breasted fitted gray waistcoat with thin black lapels, dark trousers, and black dress loafers. A frock coat lay on the left arm of sofa I was occupying with my back on said arm while my legs are intertwined on the sofa. I slipped off my loafers before putting my feet on the sofa and put the loafers next to the side-table.

Seeing as I might have to wait for an inordinate amount of time for Donna to come and beat the living crap out of me, I decided to venture and read a few Deadpool comics.

* * *

I was so immersed in the comics the footfalls of one Donna Noble did not alert me out of this world I built in my head and only was scared out of it.

"YOU!" she boomed and pointed accusingly.

I immediately looked towards the irate ginger, which incidentally, stalked over with squared shoulders. Aww, shit. Where can I hide? Can I run fast enough? Hold on… I asked her to meet me here…

"Well, that was stupid," I muttered under my breath.

I sighed and put the comic down on the coffee table. I turned, put my shoes back on and a brave face. This will be painful; I can already feel tension vibrating off the woman.

I took a deep breath and stood in face the scariest woman in all of creation. The slap was not unexpected, but it still hurt! I caressed my stinging cheek, perhaps a cold compress later without the livid woman in front of me. Yeah probably a good idea.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" she ground out and crossed her arms.

Right… Donna.

"Nothing," I stated glibly.

"WHAT?!" she screeched. I winced from the volume.

"I said I have nothing to say," this time without the emotions.

"You have better, or else you'll be feeling another slap coming your way till next Thursday, Timeboy," she gritted out deliberately. I closed my eyes to steel myself and then opened them to see the open hostility in the other set of eyes within the room. "Well?"

"I was getting tired of your boyfriend's idiocy, so I thought I could just speed up the process," I started.

"Speed up the process? Are you out of your mind?" she hissed.

"No, that would be the Doctor. Plus, I'm guessing the sex wasn't all too bad," I responded cheekily.

To which she blushed furiously and visibly deflate from her angry rant, causing me smirk in response.

"I'm taking that as a yes," I said blithely.

"Oh, shut up," she grumbled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Right, coz you would have been _absolutely delighted_ to do that," I replied dryly.

"Oi!" she huffed in indignation. I sat back down in the sofa unceremoniously and looked back at the woman. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"This'll take a while. So I thought I might as well just sit down," I replied calmly as she sat next me.

"How can you be so calm?" she bit out. "I slapped and berated you."

"Same way a person would if a cobra was poised to attack. I'm just trying not to get bit with venom," I stated. "Although, one could say I already have."

"Watch it Timeboy," she snapped frostily. Then her demeanor changed into one of defeat or sadness. What the hell did the Doctor do?

"Donna, what happened after I left?" I broached carefully.

She looked at me with eyes glistening, threatening to fall any moment.

"He—he said—he just wanted to be friends," she sobbed. I threw my arms around her and let cry on my shoulder.

"Oh, Donna," I crooned softly. "What exactly did he say?"

She hiccupped a few more times before speaking again.

"He began talking about how you were going be furious," she began.

Well this is going to be messier than I thought, Doctor you are the biggest idiot when it comes to emotions. I sometimes wonder how your companions haven't killed you because of it.

"Jeez. Did you say anything otherwise?" I asked softly.

"I couldn't get a word in," she sobbed. "And he just rambled then took off for control room muttering about fixing a loose valve or something."

"You mean he literally ran away from the problem? Typical. This is worse than I thought," I whined.

"You're telling me," she muttered.

"No, I mean the 70s called, they want their blouse back," I grinned. She swatted my chest.

"That's not funny," she said grumpily.

"Yes, it is," I insisted grinning even wider. "Come on, I see smile."

Her lips twitched, trying hard not to smile. She sighed.

"Fine. I give," finally giving me a genuine but small smile. "What are we going to do today, Brain?"

"The same thing we do night, Pinky! Try and take over the world," I laughed. "I don't suppose you'd like some tea?"

"_You_ are not allowed the kettle till I say so," she reprimanded lightly.

"Afraid I'll take advantage?" I replied cheekily.

"No. And that's the problem," she countered laughing.

"Don't worry Donna, I'll do something about that," I said in mock seriousness. "If it'll save you from distress, then it's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Geroff Timeboy! Let's go to the kitchen," she ordered lightly.

"Okay, let me make it up to you. I'll bake you fresh scones with that tea you're going make," I suggested.

She mocked dramatically sighed.

"If I really have to," she tried keeping a straight face along with a brief moment of silence but failed and I laughed along with her.

Grinning, we both stood up and walked out of the library both of us having a different outlook we had at that moment. Hers in acceptance of the fate she was given, and mine, in that I happen hate that idea so much so I want to take it into another direction to obliterate it.

Oh this going to be so much fun. Too bad they don't know it yet.

* * *

**Finally right? Thanks to those who have reviewed, followed, favorited, or just lurked. This keep me going and gets me excited in writing. Anyway, R&R guys and gals!**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	9. Baked Potatoes and Pink Weasels

**A/N: Sorry guys for not post for awhile. Life got in the way and I kind of got writer's block for where I wanted to take this part of the story. I hope I did well.**

**Disclaimers: Do you really have to rub it in?**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

The TARDIS landed with a _THUD! _back on Earth. The Doctor walks out of the doors first looking for someone. While we hung back to fix our clothes, then followed the Doctor.

"You excited to be back on Earth?" I whispered to Donna while walking through the threshold then looked towards where Martha and the Doctor are talking.

"Yeah," she breathed distracted.

I turned to Donna reply back, when something, or rather someone, jumped and clung to me with their arms around my neck and their legs around my waist in a tight embrace. The force was so strong; I fell on my back onto the ground with an 'Oof!'

I groaned and opened my eyes. I sat up to look at the person properly, which in this case was a Dr. Martha Jones

"Well, hello to you to," I greeted with my brow raised to the now sheepish woman on my lap.

"It's you! It's really you!" she babbled as she hugged me again. "I thought you were dead!"

Before I can reply to her, Martha's radio crackled on.

"Dr. Jones, report to base, please," a woman said on the other side of the radio. "Dr. Jones? Dr. Jones, do you read? Copy?"

Martha didn't seem to hear the woman, I'm glad she now knows I'm alive. Although, what the hell is going on…

I cleared my throat pointedly.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" I asked her.

Martha pull away slightly, as if trying to remember the world around her again.

"What?" she asked still slightly dazed.

"Are you going to answer your radio?" I clarified with a bemused smile.

A blush crept onto Martha's chocolate skin as she realized the compromising position and quickly got up to reply to the woman.

"This is Dr. Jones. Operations Blue Sky is go, go, go," she says to the radio then turned and walked away still speaking into the radio. "I repeat this is a go."

Donna leaned in towards me. "What the hell just happened?" she asked in bemusement.

"I know as much as you about what just happened," I replied confused and shaking my head. "Which is pretty much a large goose egg."

* * *

I sort of tuned out the organized chaos, the introductions between Donna and Martha, until we arrive at Colonel Mace's office for more introductions.

"Operation Blue Sky complete, sir," Martha reported to Mace. "Thanks for letting me take the lead. And this… this is the Doctor and the Guardian. Doctor and Guardian, Col. Mace."

My head snaps to Martha as she says my name. _What the hell is going on? _I thought. _How does she know me? I haven't even met her._

Mace salutes to both of us. "Sirs."

The Doctor groaned and tries waves it off. "Oh, don't salute."

"But it's an honour, sir. I've read all the files both of you," he gushed, not unlike a fanboy meeting their idol. _Huh, so that's what it feels like._ "Technically speaking, you two are still on staff. You haven't resigned."

I cleared my throat loudly and all heads turn to me. I took step forward two feet away from Mace with an impassive smile. I hold out my hand for him to shake and he does it almost as if awestruck.

"Ah, Colonel Alan Mace head of the British division of the Unified Intelligence Taskforce," I said and thrust my hands into my coat.

"Y-you know who I am, sir?" he asked with shock.

"Well, of course. I keep up with dealings within UNIT," I replied pleasantly then continued with an air of indifference. "I'm only saying this once, so don't bother asking again. When I specifically tell you to do or don't something, it's not because I'm trying to undermine your authority, I'm telling you because lives are at stake."

"What are you trying to say, sir?" shock now morphed into confusion.

"Basically, when I say: 'Jump.' You say: 'How high?'" I loomed over the man; I can feel my eyes burning with malice. The reflection from his eyes confirmed it. "Do I make myself perfectly clear, soldier?"

He visibly gulped, while beads of sweat trickled down his face. "Y-y-yes sir."

"As you were, Colonel," I ordered with fake pleasantry and a smile, feeling the burning fade. Then I walked away from the rest of the group towards an office with the ATMOS device, leaving before anyone can ask questions.

* * *

I sat down on the ground leaning against the shelf with back; my legs crossed and began to think. Slowly I began to drift to asleep, or at least some form of it.

_The fires were walls and everything was burning. Faint screams can be heard in the room. I was in a bunker alone with my men. They all looked like war-torn veterans when in reality, they've barely gotten out into the real world. I can see it in their eyes, the loss of innocence. Gone were the days where they had educated themselves in the Academy. What were they now? They were just a remnant of something that they were never getting back._

_I sighed and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding._

"_You men," I grunted and pointed to the ten soldiers who were in my command. No, they were children. Just children. "Run. Get the hell out of this place. Do whatever you can, just get out."_

"_But sir," one of them interjected, probably no older than forty. I think his name was Taranis. "We can't. It is our duty to Gallifrey, if not the universe, to rid of the Dalek scourge. That's munity and I will have to report you to the High Council if you continue to act this way."_

_A few nods in agreement and the rest were just waiting in who will win._

_I laughed hollowly. "Look around you _boy_!" I sneered. "Do you think we're even going get out of this alive? The High Council of Gallifrey is in **shambles**! I was there when they gave their final command. So please, just get as far away as possible!"_

_After moments of silence, gunfire and bombs being the only things to fill it, a different boy spoke up, Conall I believe was his name._

"_And what was it, sir?" another asked tentatively._

"_The Ultimate Sanction," I spat angrily. A collective gasp and horror marred their already stricken faces. "Oh, yes. This isn't just some rumor. I tried so hard to fight them, hell, I fought the Council itself against this but they were already too far-gone. So much so, they forced a regeneration out of me."_

"_But they can't!" he cried helplessly. "Rassilon promised!"_

_Before I could respond, more bombings and cries filled the air. I guess they weren't leaving after all._

The memory began fading into the background and faint whispers of my name along with gentle shaking. I opened my eyes only to be greeted with Donna crouched down in front of me; worry and fear etched on her face. I tried to smile at her, but it came out more of a grimace.

"Are you okay?" her voice full of worry, always putting others above herself. I smile a more genuine one back to her. I pull her in for a tight embrace in which she reciprocated whole-heartedly.

"No. But I will be," I whisper into her hair. A few seconds pass and I stand up abruptly bring Donna as well.

"Anyway…Colonel Mace, continue," I commanded lightly.

"Yes sir," Mace acknowledged and walked around the device with the others following. "And here it is laid bare. ATMOS can be threaded through any and every make of car."

"You must've checked before it went on sale?" the Doctor queried.

"We did," Martha agreed and was leaning against the table. "We found nothing. That's why I thought we needed an expert."

The Doctor had crossed over to the other side if the room to examine equipment.

"Really? Who'd you get?" he asked and turns around noticing we were all looking at him. "Oh, right! Me! Yes! Good."

Martha rolled her eyes and prepares to leave with Mace. I walk deliberately in front of Martha.

"Martha, may I have a word with you?" I asked and she nodded expectantly, but didn't move. "Privately."

"Oh," she said in understanding.

"Lead the way Dr. Jones," I replied with the gesture.

* * *

We found ourselves on the catwalk overlooking the factory floor. I leaned forward against the railing and looked straight ahead which she mimicked.

"How do you know me?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"It was during The Year That Never Was," she said softly and quietly, while she turned her head towards mine. "How do you not remember? You're even wearing the exact same clothes."

I sighed and rubbed my eyes wearily. I turned my body to face her.

"Well, this similar to what you encountered when you and the Doctor had met Sally the first time," I explained softly and waited for her to figure it out.

Her face contorted into confusion. "Huh?"

"Remember the transcript you two had to read off the autocue? It was already written though events had happened or will happen?" I further clarified.

After a few moments of intense concentration, her eyes widen in realization and then a dark blush crossed her features.

"What's wrong?" I asked with a smirk.

"N-n-nothing," she lied with a shy smile.

I did small hip-check. "Come on. You can tell me," I goaded innocently.

She bumped back. "Seriously it's nothing," she assured me.

"Fine. Just know I'll always be here to listen," I smiled and led the way back to Donna and the Doctor.

* * *

The Doctor was staring down at the table, maybe glaring holes into it, his hands clenched into white knuckled fists. I sighed internally. _Never leave the Doctor to think by himself._

"Doctor? Where's Donna?" I asked cautiously. He flinched slightly, while his body language changed instantly and turned around plastered with a fake smile.

"She's in an office for personnel," he answered fake cheerily. "Did you need something, Guardian?"

"No, I just wanted talk to Donna. Thanks, Doctor," I responded in kind and walked away briskly towards Donna.

* * *

"Where the hell did you go off to?" was the kind greeting I received from Donna.

"I missed you too," I answered cheekily. "Just went to talk to Martha."

"What about?" she asked.

"About stuff," I replied vaguely and sat on the table with my arms crossed.

"Oh right, _stuff_," she said sarcastically. "You want me to write that down?"

I sighed loudly. "She's met me before, but _I_ on the other hand haven't."

"What? How's that even possible?" she asked.

"Her past is my future. Meaning after this adventure, I have to immediately go back to that time, and then stop an insane Time Lord from ripping time and space apart by causing a paradox to happen by using the TARDIS as conduit to bring about a new Time Lord race which he intends to rule over; and then the year is not remembered because the paradox wouldn't have happened in the first place, well according everyone else not on the _Valiant_, " I answered with a shrug.

"How did you get that out in one breath?" she asked in a shocked tone.

"Respiratory bypass," I replied.

"Oh," she responded weakly. "I think we should stop talking about it, my head is starting to hurt."

"Agreed. So, find anything interesting, Mrs. Noble?" I asked grinning.

Donna grinned and laughed. "As a matter of fact, I did, Dr. Noble."

* * *

"Oi, you lot! All your storm troopers and your sonics—rubbish!" she announced as we came back into the room with the Doctor and Martha. "Shoulda come with me."

"Where _have _you been?" the Doctor interjects as Colonel Mace joins in.

"Personnel. That's where the weird stuff's happening in the paperwork," Donna answers, vibrating with enthusiasm. "'Cause I spent years working as a temp, I can find my way around an office blindfolded, and the first thing I noticed is an empty file."

"Why, what's inside it?" the Doctor asked curiously. "Or what's not inside it?"

"Sick days," Donna stated opening the file folder to it's empty. "There aren't any. Hundreds of people working here, and no one's sick. Not one hangover, man flu, sneaky little trip—"

"Like you?" I said hip bumping her and she sticks out her tongue and grins. I laugh. The Doctor clears his throat.

"Nothing. Not ever," Donna continued with a smirk towards me. "They don't get ill."

"That can't be right," Mace mutters dumfounded reaching for the folder.

"I can see why the Guardian likes you," Martha laughed. Donna and I exchange a conspiratorial look with mischievous grins. While the Doctor had a small scowl, that had briefly marred his face.

Donna hummed with pride.

"You are good," Martha praised.

"Super Temp," Donna smirked.

"Seriously, we need capes!" I laughed and Donna along with me.

"Dr. Jones, set up a medical post," Colonel Mace interjected and ordered. "Start examining the workers. I'll get them sent through."

Martha started at the door. "Come on, Donna, give me a hand."

* * *

The Doctor and I ran after Mace out of the room and along an open corridor parallel to the work area.

"So," the Doctor began. "This, this ATMOS thing, where'd it come from?"

"Luke Rattigan himself," Mace answered.

"And himself would be?" I asked.

"A child genius," Mace replied pulling up a file on Luke. "Invented the Fountain 6 search engine when he was 12 years old. Millionaire overnight. Now runs the Rattigan Academy. A private school educating students handpicked from all over the world."

"A hot-house for geniuses—wouldn't mind going there," the Doctor said absentmindedly while Mace looks at him, puzzled. "I get lonely."

"What the hell am I? Chopped liver? I actually scored higher than you on a lot of things," I interjected. "And you know what you just said sounds creepy as hell."

"No it doesn't!" he cried indignantly. "Does it?"

"Yes," Colonel Mace answered immediately.

I laughed. "See?"

"Meh," the Doctor huffed. "Anyway we need to get going."

I nodded and we walk out into the hallway out of the building.

"You are not coming with us," the Doctor said as Mace followed us. "I want to talk to this Luke Rattigan, not point a gun at him."

"It's ten miles outside London," Mace retorted. "How are you going to get there?"

"Then get us a damn jeep," I needled exasperatedly.

"According to the records, you travel by TARDIS," Mace replied with a raised brow.

"Yeah, but if there is a danger of hostile aliens," I said slowly as if explaining to a child. "I think its best to keep the super-duper time travel machine away from the front lines. Don'tcha think Mr. Smarty-Pants?"

"I see. Then you do have weapons but choose to keep them hidden," Mace retorted as we stopped in the loading docks. _That's what he got from that? Dumbass_. "Jenkins?"

"Sir!" Ross replied with a salute.

"You will accompany the Doctor and the Guardian, and take orders from them," Mace ordered Ross.

"I don't do orders," the Doctor reiterated.

"Any sign of trouble get Jenkins to declare Code Red," Mace continued. "And good luck, sirs."

He salutes both of us.

"I said no salutes," the Doctor reprimanded.

"Now you're giving orders," Mace muttered leaving.

"A bit cheeky, you are," the Doctor smirked.

"I like him," I agreed.

"Guardian, Doctor," Donna said softly.

"Oh, just in time. Come on! Come on!" the Doctor said grabbing my hand and her's towards the jeep. "Fresh air… geniuses, what more could you ask?"

"I'm not coming with you," Donna said, halting the Doctor and turns to her. "I've been thinking. I'm sorry… I'm going home."

"Really?" the Doctor asked softly with a touch of sadness.

"I've got to," she reaffirmed.

"Well, if that's what you want. I mean it's a bit soon," the Doctor began. "I had so many place I wanted to take you. The 15th Broken Moon of the Medusa Cascade, the lightening skies of Cotter Palluni's World, the diamond coral reefs of Kaata Flo Ko…" I was barely keeping my laughter from bubbling out. The Doctor is so oblivious, it's kinda sad.

"Thank you, Donna Noble. It's been brilliant," he continued. "You—you've saved my life in so many ways." Donna nods slowly. I'm grinning like an idiot on the side.

"You're…You're—" the Doctor realization finally dawning on him while I burst out laughing. "—you're just popping home for a visit. That's what you mean."

"You dumbo," she shakes her head.

"And then you're coming back," the Doctor said embarrassed.

"Do you know what you are? A great, big, outer-space dunce," she enunciated.

"Yeah," he breathed sheepishly.

"You seriously thought she was leaving after she practically searched for you for a year?" I laughed wiping a few tears away.

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up," the Doctor huffed.

"Ready when you are, sirs," Ross announced.

"What's more, you can give a lift. Come on," Donna said while we piled into the jeep. The Doctor and I were on either side of Donna. "Broken moon of what?"

"I know. I know," the Doctor acknowledged.

"I think he means the Medusa Cascade," I grinned and she giggled.

"Oh, not you too," the Doctor groaned as Ross chuckled and drove us away.

* * *

After dropping Donna off, we set for the Rattigan Academy.

"UNIT's been watching the Rattigan Academy for ages. It's all a bit Hitler Youth," Ross said driving, a bit unsettled. "Exercise at dawn and classes and special diets."

"Turn left," the ATMOS directed.

"Ross, one question," the Doctor began. "If UNIT thinks that ATMOS is dodgy—"

"How come we've got it in the Jeeps?" Ross interjected.

"Yeah," the Doctor agreed.

"Ha! Tell me about it," Ross his shook head. "They've fitted as standard on all government vehicles. We can't rid of them until we can prove there's something wrong."

"Turn right," the ATMOS directed.

"Drives me around the bend," Ross joked as he turned into the school's drive.

"Oh! Nice one," the Doctor praised.

"Time that perfectly," Ross enthused.

"Ha. Yeah. You did," the Doctor replied.

"I knew I liked you, Ross," I grinned at him as we exited the Jeep and began walking up the pavement.

"Thank you, sir," Ross nodded with a small smile.

"Don't call me 'sir'," I reprimanded lightly. "Just Guardian."

"Thank you, _Guardian_," he corrected.

* * *

"I see what you mean about the whole Hitler Youth thing, Ross, " I commented as students in red sweat suits run past us. "Creepy. As. Fuck."

"Language, Guardian," the Doctor scolded.

I shrugged. "This regeneration seems to be very fond of vulgarity. Sorry."

He just sighed. "Is it PE? I wouldn't mind a kick-around. Got me daps on," the Doctor enthused.

"I suppose you're the Doctor," Luke turned to face us away from the greenery. "And this must be the Guardian."

"Hello," the Doctor greeted, while I just gave a small nod.

"Your commanding officer phoned ahead," Luke informed us.

"Oh, we haven't got a commanding officer. Have you?" the Doctor retorted. After a few awkward seconds I decided to interject.

"Oh, this is Ross. Say hello Ross," I said happily.

"Afternoon, sir," Ross acknowledged.

"Let's have a look then!" the Doctor said rushing towards the main doors. "I can smell genius… in a good way."

"That still sounds pervy!" I called out to him while following at a more sedate pace.

"Oi!" the Doctor retorted from the top of the step.

"Am I right Ross?" I asked the man.

Ross just chuckled and said: "No comment, Guardian."

* * *

"Oh, now… that's clever! Look!" the Doctor exclaimed while I followed right behind.

"Single-molecule fabric. That shit is thin!" I exclaimed, beginning to flit around the room as well.

"Oh! Gravity simulators!" the Doctor enthused.

"Terraforming biospheres!" I said in awe.

"Nano-tech steel construction! This is brilliant!" the Doctor laughed. "But y'know with equipment like this, you could, oh, I dunno…move to another planet or something."

"If only that was possible," Luke said with mock disappointment.

"If only that were possible," I corrected. "Conditional clause."

"I think you'd better come with me," Luke sneered.

* * *

We followed Luke to a large room, probably his office.

"You smarter than the usual UNIT grunts, I'll give you that," Luke said condescendingly.

"Oi! He called you a grunt," I said sarcastically to Ross. "Don't call Ross a grunt, he's nice. We like Ross. Damn, look at this place…"

I began to wander the room along with the Doctor.

"What exactly do you want?" Luke called exasperatedly.

"I was just thinking, 'what a responsible 18 year old,'" the Doctor began. "Inventing zero-carbon cars, saving the world…"

"It takes a man with vision," Luke smirked.

"Mmhm, blinkered vision," I snorted and began walking back to the center of the room. "'Cause ATMOS means more people driving, more cars, more petrol, end result: the oil's gonna run out faster than ever. The ATMOS system could make things worse."

"Yeah, well, that's a tautology," Luke retorted quickly stepping within three feet. "You can't say ATMOS 'system' 'cause it stands for Atmospheric Emission System. So you're saying 'Atmospheric Emission System System.' Do you see, Mr. Conditional Clause?"

"Long time since anyone's said no to you, hasn't it?" I remarked bluntly.

"I'm still right, though," Luke pressed.

"Not easy, is it, being clever?" I said taking a step forward in his personal space. "You look at the world and you connect things—random things—and think, 'why can't anyone else see it? The rest of the world is _so_ slow.'"

"Yeah," Luke sneered.

"And you're on your own," the Doctor added.

"I know," Luke agreed.

"But not with this," the Doctor said pulling out the ATMOS device and tossed it to Ross. "'Cause there's no way you invented this single-handed. It might be Earth technology, but that's like finding a mobile phone in the Middle Ages."

"I knew I forgot something," I scolded myself.

"What?" the Doctor turned to me.

"I left my phone on Henry VIII's throne," I shrugged.

"That was you?" he accused.

"What? Why?" I asked confused.

"The British National Archive found it and didn't know what it was," the Doctor laughed.

"Oh! Now I get why you point and laugh at archeologists!" I laughed along with him.

"Is there a point to this?" Luke gritted out.

'_Someone needs a chill pill,' _I told the Doctor.

'_Tell me about it,' _he griped. "Yes, I'll tell you what it's like! It's like finding _this_—" he said crossing to the teleport. "—in someone's front room. Albeit, a very big front room."

'_Don't be too long honeybun,' _I said and gave him an equivalent of a mental smirk. _'And do be careful. Don't want to_ **be** _the Last of Time Lords.'_

'_Yes, sweetie-cakes,' _he retorted playfully. _'Not planning on it.'_

"Why? What is it?" Ross asked with curiosity.

"Yeah, just looks like a thing, doesn't it?" he asked rhetorically. "People don't question things. They just think: 'Oh, it's a thing.'"

"Leave it alone," Luke pleaded.

"I make these connections," the Doctor said walking inside it pressing a few buttons. "And _this _to me looks like—a teleport pod."

And with that he disappeared to the Sontaran ship.

"Where'd he go?" Ross asked alarmed.

"He'll be fine," I shrugged. "Just popped into the heart of the Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet."

His eyes widened. "What? Will he be okay?"

"I think so. I mean he should be back in a few," I responded casually.

"Oh. Okay," Ross said not really knowing what else to say

"So…" I trailed awkwardly. "Seen any good movies lately?"

"Untraceable was pretty good," Ross remarked after a few awkward seconds.

"Is that the one with Diane Lane?" I tried to recollect.

Ross nodded. "Yeah."

"Oooh! I liked that one, really good thriller!" I enthused. "Although, I was kind of disappointed when—"

Suddenly the Doctor reappeared from the teleport gate with a running start.

"Ross, get out!" he shouted. "Guardian, defensive formation alpha—"

"You know that never works!" I grumbled. "Stupid time lord and his stupid plans…"

"—And Luke, you'd better come with me," the Doctor said sonicking the controls of the teleport as General Staal appears, ignoring my protests.

"Sontaran! That's your name isn't? General Staal of the Tenth Battle Fleet to be more precise. How did I know that, eh?" I stalled, as the Doctor put his sonic screwdriver away. "Fascinating, isn't it? Isn't that worth keeping me alive?"

"I order you to surrender in the name of the Unified Intelligence Taskforce," Ross called out aiming a gun at the Sontaran.

"That's not going to work," the Doctor said to Ross. He then turned to Staal. "Cordalaine signal, am I right?"

"Copper excitation stopping the bullets," I added for Ross' benefit.

"How do you two know so much?" Staal asked in suspicion.

"Well…" the Doctor began while walking around the room.

"We're just that awesome," I finished with a smirk and went over to Luke's desk to sit on the chair with my feet propped up on said desk.

"Who are they?" Staal hissed to Luke.

"They didn't give me their names," Luke sneered.

"This isn't typical Sontaran behavior, is it?" the Doctor goaded. "Hiding? Using teenagers? Stopping bullets? A Sontaran should face with dignity!"

"Shame on you! Bad baked potato!" I added with a laugh.

The Doctor just shook his head with a smirk.

"You dishonor me!" Staal cried.

"Then show yourself, soldier!" I baited.

"I will look into my enemy's eyes," Staal announced removing his helmet.

"Oh my God!" Ross breathed in shock.

"And your name?" the Doctor asked.

"I just answered that," I muttered to the Doctor.

"General Staal of the Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet, the human was correct," Staal answered with condescension. "Staal the Undefeated."

I so badly wanted to correct the baked potato, but decided to use the information later.

"That's not a very good nickname," the Doctor scoffed. "What if you get defeated? 'Staal-The-Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Anymore-But-Nev er-Mind'?"

Ross snickered. "Looks like a potato, a baked potato," he said in shock. "A talking baked potato."

"Now, Ross. Don't be rude," the Doctor admonished. "You look like a pink weasel to him."

"The Sontarans are the finest soldiers in the galaxy," I stated while picking up a tennis racket and bouncing a ball on it. "Dedicated to a life of warfare. A clone race grown in batches of millions with only one weakness—"

"Sontarans have no weakness!" Staal retorted arrogantly.

"No, it's a good weakness," I smirked.

"Aren't you meant to be clever?" Luke asked incredulously. "Only an idiot would provoke him."

"A.) I'm light-years smarter than Mr. Potato over there and B.) I'm being a smartass. Do your research," I retorted. "Anyways… the Sontarans are fed by a probic vent in the back of the neck. That's their weak spot, which means they always have to face their enemy in battle. Isn't _that_ fantastic? They can't _ever_ turn their backs!"

"We stare into the face of death!" Staal countered immediately.

"Yeah? Well, stare at this," I replied hitting the ball to bounce off the teleport pod, slamming into Staal's probic vent.

"Out! Out! Out!" the Doctor exclaimed as he ushered Ross and I out of the room. Heading for the jeep to get back to the base.

* * *

"Greyhound 40 to Trap 1," the Doctor tried into the radio. "Repeat: can you hear me? Over."

"Why is it not working?" Ross asked worriedly.

"'Coz the Sontarans are being bastards and are going to try to kill us," I sighed.

"What?" Ross cried.

"Try going left," the Doctor commanded suddenly.

"It's not going to work," I sing-songed.

"Yeah, well… Just try it," the Doctor commanded again.

"You know you're really hot when you get all commanding," I smirked and Ross just ignored my comment to focus on the directions he was given.

"It says left," Ross continued.

"Wha—what? I mean, Ross. Go right anyway," the Doctor sputtered turning towards me. "What do you mean? Donna would not appreciate you saying that!"

"Oh, she thinks you're hot, too," I shrugged with nonchalance but looking forward.

The Doctor just sat there like a gaping fish trying to get words out but nothing was happening. So, I took over.

"I've got no control! It's driving itself. It won't stop," Ross cried as he removed his hands fro the wheel. He tried to open the door, but nothing. "The doors are locked!"

"ATMOS, are you programmed to contradict my orders?" I asked taking a shortcut instead of the long-winded explanation.

"What are you—" the Doctor tried to ask as he finally got over his shock.

"Hush!" I scolded.

"Confirmed," the ATMOS agreed.

"Then drive into the river!" I shouted while the Doctor and Ross just stared in either shock or fear. Maybe both. "I order you to drive into the river! Do it! Drive into the river!"

The Jeep screeched to a halt just a few feet away from the riverbanks. The Doctor and Ross jump out and ran while I just casually followed them. The ATMOS device began to short-circuit.

"Get down!" the Doctor shouted as he and Ross both dove to the ground. I just stood there looking at them like they were a bunch of idiots, waiting for the explosion that never came. The panel only sparked and smoke came wafting out of the jeep.

"Oh, is that it?' the Doctor asked disappointedly and stood up along with Ross.

"What exactly were you expecting? A full-on fireball explosion?" I laughed shaking my head.

"Weeellll…" the Doctor shrugged then dusted himself off. "Maybe a little."

"Only you Doctor," I grinned and turned to Ross. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Ross nodded. "What happened? And how are we getting back?"

* * *

"The sat-nav was wired to the whole car and therefore controlled everything," I explained as we began to walk back to Chiswick. "The ATMOS device was programmed to contradict the owner's commands."

"How did you know it was going to stop and short itself out?" Ross asked.

"I didn't," I replied. Ross' head snapped to mine.

"What?" he cried.

I sighed. "Well, I sort of did. But didn't at the same time," I tried but was met with an even more confused Ross. "Would it help that I just came from another dimension, though I'm originally from this one, where this universe is a T.V. show where it follows the Doctor and his adventures and as it happens this was one of them?"

"Huh?" Ross tilted his head in confusion.

"Just pretend I'm psychic Ross," I sighed. "It's much easier to understand."

"Okay," he nodded.

"So…episode?" the Doctor asked in understanding.

"Yup," I said popping the 'p.'

* * *

We finally arrived at the Nobles' home. I rang the doorbell like a child on sugar.

"Oi! Don't get your knickers in a twist!" I heard shouted from the inside. And Donna opened the door with an agitated scowl marring her face briefly before she just rolled her eyes and shook her head at us.

"You would not believe the day I'm having," the Doctor smirked.

* * *

The Doctor began to examine the ATMOS device connected to the car while Donna is on her mobile trying to reach Martha, well clone Martha, who would probably smell like ass.

"I'll requisition us a vehicle," Ross announced after watching the Doctor tinker.

"Anything without ATMOS," I said leaning my back on the Nobles' car.

"And don't point your gun at people," the Doctor added and looked at him pointedly as he ran off.

"Is it them? Is it them? Is it the Doctor and the Guardian?" Wilf called running out of the house. He recognized the Doctor. "Ah, it's you!"

"Who?" the Doctor asked turning to Wilf. Recognition dawns on him. "Oh…it's you!"

"Have you met my grandfather, too?" Donna demanded looking at me.

"What?" I cried. "No! Well—not really. Technically, yes—but no."

"Well, which is it?" Donna huffed.

"No. About to meet him now," I smiled placatingly.

"And you!" she pointed to her grandfather. "What? Have you met before?"

"Yeah, Christmas Eve," Wilf recounted. "He disappeared right in from of me."

"And you never said!" she accused.

"Well, you never said," he countered and turned to both of us. "I'm—"

"Wilfred Mott," I finished smiled warmly.

"Are you one of them psychic aliens?" Wilf asked in awe.

"I don't know about the psychic part but we both are aliens," I gestured to the Doctor and I. I put my hand out for him and shook his hand, smiling. "Though it depends on your perspective on who the aliens are at this point. But please don't shout it out."

"Nice to meet you properly, Wilf," the Doctor said with a warm smile shaking Wilf's hand.

"Ah, alien hands," Wilf commented bewildered.

"Donna, anything?" the Doctor asked.

"She's not answering," Donna sighed. "What's it: 'Sontiruns'?"

"Sontarans," I corrected along with the Doctor, though only he continued. "But there's got to be more to it. They can't be just remote-controlling cars. That's not enough."

"Is _anyone_ answering?" I asked agitated.

"Hold on," Donna tried to assuage. I heard Martha answer.

"Martha, hold on, he's here," Donna said handing the phone to the Doctor.

"Martha—" the Doctor began.

'_That's not her,' _I interjected. He stopped, brow knitted.

'_What? What do you mean?' _the Doctor asked.

'_It's the wrong pitch. And well…episode,' _I replied.

'_So what do you want to do then?'_ he asked.

'_Keep up the charade. Don't want them to know 'til last possible minute. We can use the clone to our advantage,' _I advised. _'Though it's totally up to you.'_

'_Yeah, I think that would be best,'_ the Doctor agreed.

"Doctor? Are you still there?" clone Martha asked breaking the world we were in.

"Ah, yes! Sorry about that," he apologized. "Anyway, tell Colonel Mace it's the Sontarans. They're in the file, Code Red Sontarans. But if they're inside the factory, tell him not to start shooting, UNIT will get massacred. We'll get back as soon as we can. You got that?"

"Code Red Sontarans. Gotcha," the clone agreed closing the mobile.

* * *

The Doctor was now under the hood trying to get a better reading with the sonic on the ATMOS device while Donna and Wilf looked on.

"You've tried sonicking it before," Donna argued. "You didn't find anything."

"Yeah, but no I know it's Sontaran," he countered. "I know what I'm looking for."

"The thing is, Doctor and Guardian, that Donna is my only grandchild," Wilf began. "You two gotta promise me you're gonna take care of her."

"Of course Wilf," I promised whole-heartedly. "Although, she does take care of us."

"Oh, yeah! That's my Donna," Wilf praised. "She was always bossing us around even when she was tiny. 'The Little General' we used to call her."

"Yeah. Don't start," Donna scolded lightly while the Doctor concentrated on a specific part with the holes in a grid pattern.

"And some of the boys she used to turn up with—a different one every week," Wilf recounted.

"You had other men before me?" I asked in mock hurt, but one look in her eyes broke my serious façade and I started to laugh. "Yeah, sorry. Who am I kidding? Those men were never good in enough for you."

"You silly sod!" she laughed. "And you are?"

I smiled. "Never said that," I corrected. "But you make me want to be, for you."

"Wait! You're with Donna?" Wilf asked in shock.

Shit. This can blow up in face so badly. I looked at Donna for reassurance but only a half-hearted smile back. I was cursing up a storm mentally.

"Umm…well, Wilf," I started lamely. "It's up to her…if she wants me."

Whatever Donna was about to say was interrupted by the Doctor and the ATMOS. _Thank Omega!_

"Whoa! It's a temporal pocket!" the Doctor cried with excitement. "I knew there was something else in there. It's hidden just a second out of sync with real time."

"You say the sexiest things, Doctor," I muttered shuffling closer to Donna. She smirked in amusement, but one look at me made her look like she was about to peal with laughter.

"But what's it hiding?" Donna asked trying to suppress her inner turmoil, badly.

"I dunno, men and their cars! Sometimes I think if I was a car…" Sylvia trailed seeing the Doctor, her face turned sour. "Oh, it's you! Doctor—what was it?"

"Doctor John McCrimmon," I answered politely.

"Yeah, that's me," the Doctor said not really paying attention.

"And who the hell are you?" Sylvia accosted me.

"I'm—uh—Doctor James McCrimmon, his brother," I responded with a charming smile…_I hope_. I put out my hand and was shaking hers. "And you are—?"

"Sylvia Noble," she replied breathily, still holding my hand and not letting go. I wasn't really going for this effect, but I'd rather not be on her bad side.

"Can I have my hand back, Mrs. Noble?" I asked with a smirk. "I have to—um help my—brother."

"Oh! Of course!" she exclaimed. "And call me, Sylvia."

"Right…" I trailed and stood next to the Doctor, pretending to be working.

"Have you met him as well?" Wilf asked moving on to a different subject.

"Dad, that's the man from the wedding! When you were laid up with Spanish flu," Sylvia cried. "I'm warning you, last time that man turned up, it was a disaster!'

Suddenly gas shoots out from the device.

"Get back!" the Doctor shouted pushing us back.

"Doctor, do something!" I shouted.

"That'll stop it," the Doctor announced as he sonicked the ATMOS causing it to spark and the gas stopped.

"I told you! He's blown up the car!" she exclaimed. "Who is he anyway? What sort of doctor blows up cars?"

"Oh, not now, Mum!" Donna chided.

"Oh, should I make an appointment?" Sylvia grumbled stalking off.

"That wasn't just exhaust fumes. Some sort of gas," the Doctor stated.

"Artificial gas," I added.

"And it's aliens, is it?" Wilf asked in excitement. "Aliens?"

"But if it's poisonous…" Donna trailed.

"Then they've got every car on Earth with poisonous gas," I finished grimly. I slightly moved closer to Wilf knowing he'd try to move the car and get trapped in the process.

"It's not safe—" Wilf started but I grabbed him by the collar and got him out before the door closed. But the momentum launched us back, me being Wilf's buffer to the ground.

I groaned. "We really need to stop meeting like this asphalt," I mumbled.

Wilf got up and put out a hand to pull me up. I took it and cracked my back as I got up. The Doctor is frantically trying to turn off the car.

"Sorry for landin' on you," Wilf apologized.

I laughed. "'S alright, not the worse landings I've had," I replied.

"How you know that was going to happen? Is it them alien powers again?" he asked quickly.

"I just knew. And no, more like instinct," I lied, slightly.

"What's he doing? What's he done?" Sylvia shouted by the front door as she saw the car billowing with smoke.

"I've isolated it!" the Doctor cried.

'_It's the whole world,' _I said to the Doctor. He looked around before his eyes looked at me sharply, panic seeping into his gaze.

'_I don't know what to do,'_ he responded desperately.

When it rains, it floods.

Shit.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, lurking, or whatever you guys do.**

**Reviews are like the 10th Doctor showing up on your doorstep telling you that he's there to fix your plumbing when everything is working condition. Or a different scenario that makes fangirls squeal and explode.**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	10. Revelations and Going Back

**A/N Hello again. I know right? Getting stuff done? Sorcery! Anyway, I wanted to get this done because well it took me forever and half to get the previous chapter up.**

_Italics-Thoughts/Emphasis_

_'Italics'- Telepathy_

**Disclaimer: This is just mean... I own my OC.**

**Enjoy! Or not...**

* * *

"It won't stop!" the Doctor cried as he tried to sonic the car whilst under the car.

"Doctor," I called firmly.

"What?" he shouted.

"The whole system is deadlocked. There's nothing we can do 'til we get back to UNIT," I said pulling him up off the ground.

* * *

Donna and I were supporting Wilf as we headed back to the house with Sylvia and the Doctor following, who were not making any eye contact.

"Thank you again," Wilf spoke suddenly.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"For doing what you did," Wilf explained. "I would have been in that car choking."

"Just part of the job," I replied. I heard tires screeching and I turned around to see that Ross commandeered a black cab.

"Sylvia, take Wilf and get inside the house," I ordered lightly as I passed Wilf to Sylvia. "Just try to close off the doors and windows. Good luck."

"Guardian, Doctor," Ross shouted. "It's all I could find."

I ran towards the cab and got in the front seat with Ross. The Doctor went to the back.

"Donna, you coming?" the Doctor called getting into the cab.

"Yeah," Donna answered turning towards us.

"Donna! Don't go!" Sylvia pleaded. "Look what happens every time that Doctor appears. Stay with us, please!"

"You go, my darling," Wilf urged.

"Dad!" Sylvia cried indignantly.

"Don't you listen to her! You go with the Guardian and the Doctor! That's my girl!" Wilf encouraged as Donna took a seat in the back. "Bye!"

"I love your granddad!" I enthused as Ross drove off.

"Me too," she responded quietly. I looked back to see her frowning.

"He'll be alright," I promised. "He's tough old soldier."

"How did you—?" she looked at me shocked.

"Enlisted in World War II," I smirked. "Underage, I believe."

"But—" she stuttered.

"I was an attending physician," I remarked recounting the event. "I'm surprised he didn't remember the name I gave him…hmm…curious."

"This is so weird," she muttered softly. "I thought—"

"I remembered from the episode?" I finished.

"Yeah…"

"Well, yes," I began. "But I was there when this scrawny and gangly boy made his way to the front of the line. I was ready to reject his conscription, but he pleaded with me to let him into the army," I shook my head and smiled. "I still don't why I let him."

"What were you doing in World War II?" the Doctor asked suddenly.

"It was part of my dissertation my on primitive weaponology," I answered. "Plus, I always wondered what you found so fascinating about the Terrans. Well…back when I haven't traveled with you."

"Terrans?" Ross asked in confusion.

"Terrans are humans," the Doctor explained. "A demonym commonly associated with humans to non-terrestrial species."

"Oh," Ross uttered. "Okay."

* * *

"Ross, look after yourself," the Doctor ordered quickly as we arrived back at the factory. "Get inside the building."

"Will do," Ross nodded. "Greyhound 40 to Trap 1. I've just returned the Doctor and the Guardian, safe and sound."

He was about to drive inside. "Wait!" I hollered and ran to the window.

"Yes, Guardian?" he asked.

"When you hear from me again, do as I say," I pleaded. "Got it?"

"Guardian, I really need to get going," he said quickly.

I grabbed his collar aggressively. "Promise me," I growled. "Promise me, Private Ross Jenkins code-name Greyhound Forty, that you will not disobey _**my**_ command."

"Yes, Guardian," Ross nodded. "I will."

I let go and let him drive away. I rubbed my palm across my face and sigh heavily.

'_Are you alright Guardian?'_ the Doctor asks making me flinch.

'_Yeah, 'm fine,'_ I lied. _'Where's Donna?'_

'_I sent her back to the TARDIS,' _he replied. _'Are you sure you're alright?'_

'_Yeah, yeah,' _I replied. _'Let's get back to Colonel Mace before he starts a war.'_

'_Right,' _he nodded, but it seems he's going to let it go only for now.

* * *

Before we enter the room we met Colonel Mace in the beginning, an almost rancid smell assaulted my nostrils. I gag a little bit.

"Man, that's strong," I commented to the Doctor.

"Tell me about it," the Doctor replied.

"Right then, here I am," the Doctor announced as we entered the hub of operations. "Good. Whatever you do, Colonel Mace, do not engage the Sontarans in battle. There's nothing they like better than a war. Leave this to us."

"Actually, Doctor," I piped in and he turns to look at me. "I'll just stay here."

_'Take the Martha clone with you,'_ I say to him.

_'Are you sure?'_ he asks with uncertainty.

_'Yeah and be careful,'_ I warned.

_'Always,'_ he smiled and pulled me into a hug. He let's go of me and I stood right next to Colonel Mace. "Right."

"And what are you going to do?" Colonel Mace asks curiously.

"I've got the TARDIS," the Doctor replies easily. "I'm gonna get aboard their ship."

And with that he takes Martha with him to the TARDIS, well lack thereof.

* * *

"Colonel Mace, I apologized for my behavior earlier," I started not looking at Mace but at the screen. "It was rather unprofessional."

"I—um—I don't really know what to say, sir," Colonel Mace stuttered.

"Is my apology accepted then?" I asked looking at him.

"Yes, sir," Colonel Mace sighed and gave me a small smiled. "I don't suppose I'm getting an apology from the Doctor any time soon?"

"Hell would have frozen over before that happened," I laughed.

"Wishful thinking?" he inquired.

"Don't get me wrong, the Doctor is good man," I smiled. "Although, just a bit rude."

"A bit, sir?" Colonel Mace raised a brow.

"Okay, a lot," I conceded and as said person came bursting through the door, I muttered, "Speaking of the devil…"

"Change of plans," the Doctor announced.

"Good to have you fighting alongside us, Doctor," Colonel Mace said blithely.

"I'm not-fighting, as in not-hyphen-fighting, got it?" he stated as he went to stand in front of a machine. "Now, does anyone know what this gas is yet?"

"We're working on it," the Martha clone calls.

"It's harmful but not lethal until it reaches 80% density," one of the technicians say, while the Doctor has walked over behind her. "We're having the first reports of deaths from the centre of Tokyo City—"

"And who are you?" the Doctor eyed the officer.

"Captain Marion Price, sir," Capt. Price saluted.

"Oh, put you had down," the Doctor groaned as he walked back to Colonel Mace. "Don't salute."

"Sorry, he's bit of a prick," I apologized leaning in.

"Oi!" the Doctor yelped.

"Don't you 'oi' me," I retorted. "You know you're rude to military people. So, hush!"

He just huffed.

"Jodrell Bank's traced a signal, Doctor and Guardian, coming from 5000 miles above the Earth," Colonel Mace informed us. "We're guessing that's what triggered the cars."

"The Sontaran Ship," the Doctor breathed as the monitor showed the ship on the radar.

"NATO's gone to Defcon 1," Colonel Mace stated. "We're preparing a strike."

"Nuclear missiles won't even scratch the surface," the Doctor countered.

"Let us talk to the Sontarans," I agreed.

He began to fiddle with controls.

"No offense Guardian, but you two are not authorized to speak on behalf of Earth," Colonel Mace expressed.

"None taken, Colonel Mace," I retorted and continued firmly. "Although, we both have the authority and have long earned that. Ask Winston Churchill…well, his archives anyway."

I took the sonic from his hand as he wasn't really having any luck with the controls and I pressed into the comm panel. He just grinned sheepishly at me.

_'Hey you okay?'_ I asked.

_'Yeah, yeah,'_ he replied. _'Just worried about Donna.'_

I smirked. _'Oh, really now?'_ I raised a brow.

_'Shut up.'_

_'Never, Theta.'_

"Calling the Sontaran Command ship under the Jurisdiction Two of the Intergalactic Rules of Engagement," I called. "This is the Guardian and the Doctor."

"The Guardian!" Staal gasped, as the screen flickered on and the Sontarans were revealed.

"And the Doctor," the Doctor called.

"We do you honor," Staal continued, "Sontar-ha!" he pounded his fist to his hand, "We have entered into the most magnificent war because of you, most famous of Time Lords."

"Still here," the Doctor tried again.

"The Doctor wants to talk to you lot," I smirked.

"Hello!" he waved a bit.

Staal's countenance shifted to a glare, "Doctor, breathing your last?"

"My God, they're like trolls," Mace finally managed to speak.

"Yeah, loving the diplomacy, thanks," the Doctor rolled his eyes and turned to the Sontarans, "So, tell me, General Staal, since when did you lot become cowards?" he plopped down in a chair and put his feet up.

"How dare you!" Staal snapped.

"Oh, that's diplomacy?" Mace scoffed.

"Doctor, you impugn my honor!"

"Yeah, I'm really glad you didn't say 'belittle' 'cos then I'd have a field day," he remarked, "But poison gas? That's the weapon of a coward and you know it. Staal, you could blast this planet out of the sky, and yet you're sitting up above watching it die. Where's the fight in that? Where's the honor?"

"They're planning something else," I hinted to the Doctor, "This isn't normal Sontaran warfare."

The Doctor nodded, "What are you lot up to?"

"A general would be unwise to reveal his strategy to the opposing forces," Staal remarked.

"Ah, the war's not going so well, then? Losing, are we?"

"Such a suggestion is impossible."

"What war?" Mace frowned.

"The war between the Sontarans and the Rutans," I stated, "It's been raging, far out in the stars for 50,000 years. Which…" I turned to Staal and growled, "I would like ended. I don't exactly want to be under Judoon probation until the war has been settled."

"50,000 years of bloodshed, and for what?" the Doctor shook his head.

"For victory!" Staal cried, "Sontar-ha!"

"Sontar-ha!" the Sontarans chanted behind him, "Sontar-ha! Sontar-ha!"

"Give me a break," the Doctor rolled his eyes, turning to nod at me. I flashed the sonic and the channel changed to Tommy Zoom.

"I would seriously recommend that this dialogue is handled by official Earth representation," Mace glared.

"When the Earth officials are able to handle themselves intelligently without need of our assistance, then I'll consider it," I raised a brow at Mace, "Until then..." I sonicked the channel back.

"Finished?" the Doctor asked, a grin growing on his face.

Probably because my words had left Mace looking like a chastened 5 year-old, despite the fact that Staal was glaring at us.

"You will not be so quick to ridicule when you'll see our prize," Staal remarked,

"Behold!" the camera shifted to reveal the TARDIS behind him, "We are the first Sontarans in history to capture a TARDIS."

"Well, as prizes go, that's...noble. As they say in Latin, donna nobis pacem. Did you never wonder about its design? It's phone box. It contains a phone. A telephonic device for communication. Sort of symbolic. Like if only we could communicate. You and I…"

"All you have communicated is your distress, Doctor."

"Big mistake though. Showing it to me," he held up a device, "'Cos I've got remote control."

"Cease transmission!"

The screen went black.

"Oh, well," the Doctor sighed, getting up.

"That's achieved nothing," Mace glared.

"Oh, you'd be surprised," he grinned.

* * *

The Doctor snatched a clipboard from Martha's hands as she stood before a small container of the gas, I was standing in the doorway, watching carefully, without truly letting Martha out of my sight, "There's carbon mon—"

"Carbon monoxide, hydrocarbons, nitrogen oxides, and 10 percent unidentified," the Doctor cut in.

"It's some sort of artificial heavy element we can't trace. You ever seen anything like it?"

"Must be something the Sontarans invented. This isn't just poison, they need this gas for something else. What could that be?"

"Launch grid online and active," Price called from the control room.

"Positions ladies and gentlemen, Defcon One initiatives in progress," Mace ordered.

The Doctor ran out of the room, "What? I told you not to launch!"

"The gas is at 60 percent density, 80 percent and people start dying, Doctor. We've got no choice."

"Launching in 60, 59, 58, 57, 56…" Price counted down, "Worldwide nuclear grid now coordinating. 54, 53..."

"You're making a mistake, Colonel!" the Doctor glared, "For once, I hope the Sontarans are ahead of you."

"North America, online," Price continued, "United Kingdom, online. France, online. India, online. Pakistan, online. China, online. North Korea, online. All systems locked and coordinated. Launching in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5..."

"God save us," Mace breathed.

"...4, 3, 2, 1..."

I watched with bated breath as Martha pushed something on her PDA.

"0."

And the screen shut off.

"What is it?" Mace looked around, "What happened? Did we launch? Well, did we?"

"Negative, sir," Price replied, "The launch codes have been wiped, sir. It must be the Sontarans."

"Can we override it?"

"Trying it now, sir."

The Doctor and I exchanged a look, I nodded slightly back at Martha.

"Missiles wouldn't even dent that ship," the Doctor muttered, "So why are the Sontarans so keen to stop you?"

_'The gas is volatile,'_ I told him. _'One firm spark would burn it all up. They need it for their petty war.'_

He nodded and glanced at Martha, "Any ideas?"

"How should I know?" Martha shook her head.

"Enemy within!" Ross suddenly called over the comms. "At arms! Greyhound 40 declaring absolute emergency. Sontarans within factory grounds, east corridor grid six."

"Colonel Mace!" I boomed, the launch forgotten. Everyone stopped. "Get them out of there now!"

"B-but—" Colonel Mace tried to argue.

"I will tear you down if Ross doesn't make it," I growled, looming over the man. I took the radio from him. "The Guardian to all stations: Retreat. Order imperative, immediate retreat!"

"But sir—" a voice interjected.

"I SAID NOW!" I roared, chest heaving. A comforting hand was then on my shoulder and I turned to face the person, which was the Doctor, he had a concerned face. I turned to back to the radio as chaos ensued.

"Retreat!" we heard soldiers ordering, "Retreat!"

Then static. "Guardian to Greyhound 40. Report. Guardian to Greyhound 40. Report," I spoke over the comm. "Are you there, Ross? Please, Ross. Answer me," I pleaded.

Static.

"Ross?" my voice became hoarse, dry from anxiety. "Guardian…to Greyhound 40. Report…please."

More static played as if sensing our distress and became a cruel instrument of torturing my emotions.

Then the line crackled to life after a few tense seconds of silence, though it felt like eternity, "Greyhound 40…to the Guardian. All persons have retreated and are accounted for. I repeat, all persons have retreated and are accounted for… A few injured…but alive. Medic needed. I repeat: medic needed."

I slumped over table. "Thank God," I breathed into the radio.

"Thank you Guardian," Ross whispered gratefully.

"Yeah," I laughed. "Get yourself looked at Ross."

"Yes Guardian," he laughed.

"Guardian over and out," I called. I took a deep breath and I let out slowly, trying to calm my nerves and my hand through my hair. Which made it sticky-uppy.

* * *

The adrenaline suddenly dropped and I felt nauseous and ran to the nearest restroom. I purged what was in my stomach and kept heaving. Footsteps arrived in the large room.

"Guardian?" the Doctor called. "Are you here?"

I wiped my mouth with the toilet paper and exited the stall to the sinks. I rinsed my mouth and splashed water on my face. I looked myself in the mirror; I could feel my body trembling. The Doctor stepped next to me and pulled me close for a hug. I buried my head into his shoulder shaking harder.

_'You did it,'_ the Doctor consoled. _'He's fine! You saved them. They're okay. Breathe…'_

_'I know. But I was so scared, Theta,'_ I sobbed, hugging him even more tightly. _'I was so scared…I don't know what I would've done if Ross died. What if—'_

He put some space between putting both his hands on either side of my head, grinning like a loon. "No. Don't think like that. You saved those soldiers and that's it. Okay?"

"Okay," I sighed and gave him a small smile. "Thank you, Theta."

"We should probably get back to Mace, before he starts making more stupid decisions," he joked.

"Yeah," I agreed quietly.

* * *

When we came back into the room, Mace wouldn't even look me in the eye and just looked at the incoming reports, "They've taken the factory."

"Why?" the Doctor shook his head, "They don't need it. Why attack now? What are they up to? Times like this, I could do with the Brigadier. No offence."

"None taken. Sir Alistair's a fine man, if not the best. Unfortunately he's stranded in Peru."

_'It's a defensive strategy, they're protecting something,'_ I told him quietly. _'Or rather someone, I presume.'_

"Launch grid back online," Price called, the computer just turned on to show the map of the world when clone Martha pushed a button and the screen went black again. "They're inside the system, sir. It's coming from within UNIT itself."

"Trace it," Mace ordered, "Find out where it's coming from, and quickly. Gas levels?"

"66 percent in major population areas and rising."

"Why are they defending the factory only after we were inside?"

"Because they wanted UNIT here," the Doctor interjected. "You gave them something they needed. Something now hidden inside the factory. Something precious."

"Then we've got to recover it. This Cordalaine signal thing, how does it work?"

"It causes the expansion of the copper shell of the bullets," I replied.

"Excellent. I'm on it," Mace ran out of his office.

"For the billionth time, you can't fight Sontarans!" the Doctor shouted, before sighing.

He turned to a nearby officer as I kept watch on clone Martha, "Phone. Have you got a phone? We need your mobile, quickly, hurry up!"

The man handed him a mobile and he headed back to Mace's office, while I shut the door but still kept watch.

* * *

"What's happened, where are you?" Donna demanded over the speaker as the Doctor called her.

"Still on Earth. But don't worry, we've got our secret weapon."

"What's that?"

"You."

"Oh. Somehow that's not making me happy. Can't you just zap us down to Earth with that remote thing?"

"Yeah, I haven't got a remote, though I really should. But we need you on that ship. That's why we made them move the TARDIS. I'm sorry, but you've got to go outside."

"But there's Sonterruns out there."

"Sont_arans_," I corrected, "They'll all be on battle stations right now."

"They don't walk around having coffee," the Doctor agreed, "We can talk you through it."

"But what if they find me?"

"We know, and we wouldn't ask, but there's nothing else we can do. The whole planet is choking, Donna."

"…what d'you need me to do?"

"The Sontarans are inside the factory which means they've got a teleport link with the ship," I called, my back to the Doctor as I continued to watch clone Martha through the glass, "But they'll have deadlocked it. We need you to reopen the link."

"But, I can't even mend a fuse."

"Donna!" the Doctor cut in, "Stop talking about yourself like that. You can do this. We promise."

A few moments later Donna gasped, "There's a Sonterrun...Sont_aran_."

"Did he see you?"

"No, he's got his back to me."

"On the back of his neck on his collar there's a Probic Vent," the Doctor told her. "Like a hole. One blow to the Probic Vent incapacitates them."

"But he's gonna kill me."

"Donna, listen to me," I started. "You are not going to die. You know why?"

"No…why?"

"Because we still haven't gotten you that cape," a small sniffled laugh came through the speakers. "After all, without the cape you can't be be Super Temp! Now can you be brave for me? For the world?"

A moment later there was a thud, "Back of the neck!" Donna cheered.

"Find the external junction feed to the teleport," the Doctor instructed.

"What…what's it look like?"

"A circular panel on the wall with a symbol on the front, a letter T with a horizontal line through it. Or two Fs back to back."

"Well, there's a door."

"There should be a switch by the side."

"Yeah there is. But it's Sontaran shaped, you need three fingers."

"You've got three fingers," I laughed.

"Oh, yeah!" there was whoosh, "I am through!"

The Doctor kissed the phone, "Oh, you are brilliant, you are!" and then grabbed my arm and hugged me tightly, but didn't let go with his iron grip. "You both are! Absolutely brilliant!"

"I need to breathe, Doctor," I choked out. "I love you and all, but still need that air."

He let go, grinning sheepishly. "Sorry…"

"Shut up," Donna cut in, drawing his attention back to the phone. "Right. T with a line through it…"

The Doctor looked through the glass to see Mace had returned, "Got to go. Keep the line open!"

"Counter attack!" Mace called.

"I said you don't stand a chance!" the Doctor ran back into the room.

"Positions. That means everyone!" he tossed a gasmask to the Doctor and I.

"You're not going without me!" Martha called as we moved to put on our gasmasks.

"Wouldn't dream of it," the Doctor pulled his on.

* * *

The group stood outside the ATMOS factory, UNIT gathered around them, all wearing gasmasks.

Mace held up a gun and showed it to the Doctor and the me, "Latest firing stock, what do you think, Doctor?"

"Are you my mummy?" the Doctor asked and I gave him a small chuckle in response while I took the weapon apart.

"If you could concentrate?"

"Bullets with a rad-steel coating," I examined the bullet, "No copper surface," I tossed Mace back the gun, "It should overcome the cordolaine signal."

"But the Sontarans have got lasers!" the Doctor reminded us both, "You can't even see in this fog, the night vision doesn't work."

"Thank you Doctor, thank you for your lack of faith," Mace rolled his eyes, "But this time, I'm not listening," he pulled off his mask and turned to his soldiers, "Attention, all troops! Sontarans might think of us as primitive, as does every passing species with an axe to grind. They make a mockery of our weapons, our soldiers, and our ideals.

"But no more! From this point on, it stops. From this point on, the people of Earth fight back and we show them! We show the warriors of Sontar what the human race can do! Trap 1 to Hawk Major! Go, go, go!" we all looked up at a loud sound coming from above.

The fog started to clear to reveal the _Valiant_ flying above them, "It's working! The area's clearing. Engines to maximum!"

"It's the _Valiant_!" the Doctor cheered as I tensed. _I'm going to see Koschei again…_

"UNIT Carrier Ship _Valiant_ reporting for duty, Doctor! With engines strong enough to clear away the fog," we pulled off our masks.

"Whoa, that's brilliant!"

"Getting a taste for it?"

"No," I gritted out. "Not at all."

The Doctor looked at me with concern. Probably wondering why there was such a strong emotional shift.

"_Valiant_, fire at will!" Mace ordered.

Green beams shot out from the corners of the _Valiant_, joining together before firing at the ATMOS factory at the same time as UNIT soldiers set in, attacking the Sontarans on the ground, the aliens quickly overcome.

* * *

Mace ran to the Doctor and I as we stood in a hallway of the factory, "East and north secure. Doctor?" he rushed off.

"Donna, hold on," he called into the phone, "We're coming."

"Shouldn't we follow the Colonel?" Martha asked as the Doctor took off down a different hallway.

"Nah, you and me and the Guardian, Martha Jones. Just like old times!" he pulled out the sonic and held it in his hand, looking for signals.

"Doctor, spoilers…" I sighed.

"Eh! Anyway, alien technology, this way!" he turned and led them down the hall, down a flight of stairs, to the deserted basement, "No Sontarans down here. They can't resist a battle. Here we go," we headed down the corridor and into a door at the end of it, stepping into a clone lab.

The Doctor and I ran to a basket where Martha was lying in a white hospital-like gown, unconscious, "Oh, Martha, I'm so sorry."

I put two fingers on her neck to feel a pulse, "Still alive. Just unconscious."

The clone behind us pointed a gun at the Doctor but he hardly looked up.

"Are we supposed to be impressed?" I asked the clone, moving around the basket, with my arms crossed, forcing the clone to move back.

The clone glared, "I've been stopping the nuclear launch all this time."

"Doing exactly what we wanted," the Doctor nodded, looking at the mechanism around Martha's head that was trapping her, "We needed to stop the missiles just as much as the Sontarans. We're not having Earth start an interstellar war. You're a triple agent!"

"When did you know?"

"The moment you answered the phone," I answered, "Your voice was off. Reduced iris contraction, thinning of the hair follicles on the left temple…and frankly, you smell."

"You might as well have worn a t-shirt saying 'clone,'" the Doctor remarked. "Although, maybe not in front of Captain Jack. You remember him, don't you? 'Cos you've got all her memories. That's why the Sontarans had to protect her, to keep you inside UNIT. Martha Jones is keeping you alive," he yanked off the device from the real Martha's head and she jolted up with a scream just as the clone fell to the ground, clutching her chest, in pain.

"It's alright," he hugged her, "It's alright, I'm here, I'm here. I've got you, got you."

"There was this thing, Doctor, this alien, with this head..." Martha spoke frantically.

A mobile rang.

"Oh, blimey I'm busy," he muttered, answering, "Got it?"

"Yes!" Donna shouted, "Now hurry up!"

"Take off the covering," I called and still eyed the clone should she try anything, "Flick all the blue switches inside up. It'll get the teleport working."

Martha looked over to see the clone sitting on the ground, panting, "Oh, my God. That's me."

* * *

The Doctor was standing by the teleport with me, we're both working on getting it rigged to teleport to a different location while Martha, wearing the Doctor's coat, sat by her clone. I knew Martha was safe, just trying to get the clone to accept, whatever that entailed.

"Don't touch me!" the clone snapped as Martha reached out to her.

"It's not my fault. The Sontarans created you. But...you had all my memories."

"You've got a brother, sister, mother, and father."

"If you don't help me, they're gonna die."

"You love them."

"Yes. Remember that?"

"The gas!" the Doctor called, "Tell us about the gas."

"They're the enemy!" the clone snapped, glaring at us.

"Then tell me," Martha tried, "It's not just poison, what's it for? Martha, please!"

"Caesofine concentrate. It's one part of Bosteen, two parts Probic 5."

"Clonefeed," I nodded, knowing the substance from memory. "It's clonefeed."

"What's clonefeed?" Martha frowned.

"Amniotic fluid for Sontarans. They're not invading, they're converting the atmosphere."

"Changing the planet into a clone world," the Doctor agreed, "Earth becomes a great big hatchery. 'Cos the Sontarans are clones, that's how they reproduce. Give 'em a planet this big, they'll create billions of new soldiers. That gas isn't poison, it's food!"

"My heart...it's getting slower," the clone gasped.

"There's nothing I can do," Martha told her sadly.

"In your mind, you've got so many plans. There's so much that you wanna do."

"And I will. Never do tomorrow what you can do today, my mum says. 'Cos…"

"'Cos you never know how long you've got. Martha Jones…all that life…" and with one final breath, she died.

Martha looked at her sadly before pulling her engagement ring off of her clone's finger and slipping it back on.

"Doctor…" Donna called, "Guardian! Blue switches done," there was a whoosh and Donna was back, scared, "But they've found me!"

"Now!" I called.

The Doctor aimed the sonic and activated the pod, Donna appearing within it, still clutching her phone. She laughed, running out and pulling us both into a hug. But I untangled myself slowly, so they didn't notice that they both seem to hold onto each other much tighter.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate you?" she glared at us.

"No you don't," I smirked and stuck out her tongue. "And aren't you two sickeningly adorable?"

"What are you talking about?" the Doctor quipped.

"Well the both of you are hanging onto each other pretty tightly and don't seem to be moving apart," I laughed as their faces blushed bright red and pulled apart immediately, not looking at each other directly.

"So, we should probably get the TARDIS back, yeah?" I looked directly at the Doctor who was still red.

"R-r-right," he stuttered as he sonicked the teleport. "So you coming, Martha?"

"What about this nuclear launch thing?" Martha said smirking a little as she stepped towards us by the pod.

"Just keep pressing N," he tossed her the PDA, "We want to keep those missiles on the ground."

"But there's...two of them!" Donna gasped, spotting the clone.

"Yeah, long story," he ushered them all into the pod, "Here we go. The old team, back together! Well, the new team."

"We're not going back on that ship!"

"No, no, no. No. We needed to get the teleport working so that we could get to..." we teleported out and into Luke's pod in his quarters, "...here! The Rattigan Academy, owned by..."

Luke stalked towards us, holding a gun, "Don't tell anyone what I did! It wasn't my fault, the Sontarans lied to me, they..."

I marched forward and grabbed the gun from his hands, quickly disassembling it and tossing the pieces to the side.

"If I see one more gun..." the Doctor shook his head as we both rushed out of the room.

"You know, that coat, sort of works," Donna commented, eyeing Martha as they followed the two of them through the halls.

"Feel like a kid in my dad's clothes," Martha muttered.

Donna laughed.

* * *

The Doctor and I ran around the lab, gathering a number of devices and equipment and putting bits of it together.

"That's why the Sontarans had to stop the missiles," the Doctor explained as we worked. "They were holding back. Because, caesofine gas is volatile, that's why they had to use you to stop the nuclear attack. Ground-to-air engagement could've sparked off the whole thing."

"What, like set fire to the atmosphere?" Martha frowned.

"Yeah. They need all the gas intact to breed their clone army. And all the time we had Luke here in his dream factory. Planning a little trip, were we?"

"They promised me a new world…" he said quietly.

"You were building equipment, ready to terra-form El Mondo Luko so that humans could live there and breathe the air with this! An atmospheric converter."

The Doctor gathered the device and ran out of the room, out of the building entirely, and onto the front path, setting it down.

"That's London," Donna gasped, looking out at the fog-covered city, "You can't even see it. My family's in there."

"If I can get this on the right setting..." he mumbled, trying to fix it. I crouched beside him, moving him over to tweak a few more wires.

"Wait, hold on, you said the atmosphere would ignite," Martha replied.

"Yeah, I did, didn't I?"

He looked at me, I nodded and we stepped back. He pressed a button and a flame shot out into the sky, igniting it.

He reached out and grabbed Donna's hand unconsciously doing it, squeezing it as he watched.

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please..." the Doctor chanted, almost as if it was prayer of sorts.

And the fire cleared to reveal a blue sky.

"They're geniuses!" Luke gasped.

"Just brilliant," Martha smiled.

"Now we're in trouble!" the Doctor dropped Donna's hand and grabbed the device and ran back inside, with us following. He ran straight back to Luke's quarters and stopped before the teleport pod.

* * *

"Right, so…Guardian, thank you, for everything. Martha, you too. Oh…so many times. Luke, do something clever with your life. Donna…I—I—I lo—wish we had more time..." he finished lamely.

_'Chicken, 'til the end,' _I projected to him.

He half-glared and half-smirked at me. _'Shut up, Kai.'__  
_

_'Never, Theta.'_

"You're saying goodbye," Donna gasped from the realization.

He grinned sadly at her. He took a calming breath before continuing to speak.

"Sontarans are never defeated. They'll be getting ready for war. And, well, you know, I've recalibrated this for Sontaran air, so..."

"You're gonna ignite them," Martha breathed.

"You'll kill yourself," Donna shouted.

"Just send that thing up on its own. I don't know…put it on a delay."

"I can't," he shook his head.

"Why not?" Donna frowned.

"Because he always gives them a choice," I answered easily, turning to face him completely. "Always a choice, even though they won't take it."

He just smiled his infectious smiles and pressed the button. Without missing a beat I began to fiddle with the controls of the teleport.

"Martha, restrain Luke before he tries anything," I said without even looking up and she did so wordlessly.

"What the hell are you doing, Timeboy?" Donna half-sobbed and half-shouted.

I grinned wickedly. "Bringing _**your**_ Spaceman back," I laughed, pushing a key and teleporting out onto the ship, sending the Doctor back.

* * *

"Sontar-ha!" the Sontarans were chanting. "Sontar-ha! Sontar-ha! Sontar-ha!"

"Sontar?" I glared at them viciously. "**_Ha_**!"

Seconds before I pushed the converter's button, lightening cracked and something or rather someone appeared next to me. Then of course inertia had already happened and the ship began to self-destruct. Then that same someone wrapped his or her arms around me tightly and we were out of the ship before it fully exploded.

* * *

Groaning, I had landed on something cold and metallic on my back. The person whoever they may be left again, leaving me very disoriented and very annoyed.

"I am so killing whoever sent you," I muttered to myself. Suddenly, multiple clicks of guns were pointed at me. "And it will be slow and painful."

"Who are _you_?" a voice growls vaguely above me.

My vision finally stills and shows a face I thought I would avoid, you know forever, was hovering above me.

"Hey, Shay. How's life treating you?" I laughed nervously.

_I was aboard the fucking _Valiant.

_Up-Shit Creek without a paddle. _

_Well isn't _that_ just dandy._

* * *

**I wonder who that person was who saved the Guardian? Next is the _Sound of Drums/Last of the Time_ _Lords. _Reviews are like David Tennant giving you a foot massage for your Tenth anniversary. Or anything with Tennant in general really.**

**'Til next time,**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	11. The Valiant and the Coward

**A/N: Hello. I know amazing, it's not three weeks! Hopefully it doesn't suck too much. Anyway thanks to those who read, reviewed, followed, favorited or just lurked. You guys keep me going.**

**Bold**- Gallifreyan  
_This-_ Telepathy/Flashback

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Just the stuff in my room.**

* * *

The Master's eyes narrowed, "Who are _you_?"

"Can I get up from down here?" I asked smiling, still lying on my back. "Don't know where you lot's been."

He took a step back and I stood up immediately, taking in my surroundings. The aged Doctor was in the corner in his wheelchair, probably wondering why I popped up the way I did. There were glasses still on the conference table and the Teleprompters were still hanging out, so the transformation hadn't been too long ago.

I fixed my stare on the Doctor, assessing if he's been hurt visibly. Fortunately, there seems to be none. Someone cleared their throat, I turned to face the Master who had his arms crossed and an impatient look was plastered on his face.

"Well?" he growled.

"**The Cow Inspector**," I answered in Old High Gallifreyan with a smirk. His eyes widen and he opened and closed his month a few times but no sound came out.

It was either from the nickname or the use of our mother tongue, most likely both. It was an _enduring_ (read: unattractive) name he called me back in the Academy, while I gave him one in return. He gaped at me looking like a fish out of water.

"B-But you can't be!" he finally spluttered in English. "You're supposed to be dead!"

I waved it off. "**Eh…Everyone's been telling me that lately**," I continued in Gallifreyan and began to wander around the room, trying think but mostly muttering to internally. I took a step closer to the Master and more guns cocked but he had them stand down and now I was three feet away from the man, "**So how 'bout it, Mouse Wrangler?**"

I didn't really expect him to react other than shock, but I certainly wasn't anticipating him lunging at me for a tight hug, which made stagger a bit before reciprocating the gesture.

When he pulled away, he began retelling me his exploits his plans for the Earth, the neighbor species, and the restarting of a new 'Time Lord race.'

Yeah, from a nut-job scale starting from Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite to Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs, he's gone past Dr. Lecter. The Master has that crazy gleam in his eyes that said he was happily serving tea and biscuits to Norman Bates and his mother. It screamed along the lines of 'I'm-going-to-buldgeon-you-to-death-in-your-sleep- and-boil-your-pet-rabbit' kind of crazy. So you know, just peachy.

"**How did you escape?**" the Master asked, still in Gallifreyan. By this time, he had made eight of the ten guards leave the room to patrol the ship.

"**Well, my TARDIS had already sustained heavy damage and I was limping towards regeneration myself**," I responded in kind. "**She regressed when I began to regeneration into an infant and had piloted herself into a dimension that neither of us should have survived. Fortunately, this dimension only made my Time Lord DNA dormant and hadn't ripped my atoms to shreds.**"

I sat down at the conference table and poured myself a glass of water to drink. Vortex travel without a capsule sucks major ass and leaves you very dehydrated.

"**What why? Weren't there any Time Lords there?**" he sat across from me, very engrossed in the story.

"**Umm—no. The dimension itself didn't support much life out side the Sol System**," I replied casually. "**Even if it did, none were sentient.**"

"**But how did you get back?**"

"**I still don't have a clue. First thing I knew was that I was deposited back to this dimension after nineteen years from the one I had just come from.**"

The Master began to pave the room, and that crazy gleam came back in full force. He then stopped to pull my chair towards him where his face inches from mine.

"Who was that woman?" he snarled.

"I don't know who you're talking about," I replied confused.

"The one who brought you here," he clarified with a growl. _What is his problem? He's acting like he's—oh. _Oh. Oh shitake mushrooms.

"I still have no idea who you're talking about. All I know is that I was supposed die on a Sontaran Battle Cruiser," I shrugged.

"What?" he exclaimed. "What do you mean you were supposed to died on a Sontaran Battle Cruiser?"

I sighed and rubbed my eyes tiredly. "Because billions of people were going to die if I didn't do that job. You know saving the planet, etcetera, etcetera."

The Master studied my face to see if any lies were hidden, lucky for me, I was specifically trained in all the arts of espionage at the level of perfection. So schooling my features to meet the criteria he was after, was child's play. His features softened.

"It's lunch time. What would you like?" he asked softly, totally changing the subject and would have given me whiplash if wasn't used to his brand of topic change.

"Is anyone going to join us?" I asked.

"Would you like it to be just the two of us?" he countered with a creepy smile.

"I thought you had a wife," I reminded him with a raised brow. I wasn't going to be by myself with him.

"I do, but in our people's sense, it's bullshit," he spat in disgust. Then he smiled condescendingly. "I only married her for the political connections. When we rise to power once more, I'll throw her away like the trash the human race is."

I felt my anger boil but I had to squash it down if I wanted to make it out of this alive.

"Oh," was the only sound I could muster. I had to swallow the bile that sat at the back of my throat that was beginning to overpower me.

"So, lunch?" he tried again with an evil smile.

"Right. I think I'll just get chicken noodle," I answered politely. "I'm not that hungry."

* * *

After lunch, I was escorted back to the conference room since my room wasn't ready yet, whatever that meant. I was okay with a nice cot. Hell, I would've been happy with a mattress pad next to the Doctor. But when I mentioned the Doctor, he went a little bat-shit crazy.

The Doctor's eyes followed my every movement as I entered the room, very wary of my presence. I would probably be the same way if some random person pops up out of nowhere and claims to be their childhood best friend. I crouched in front of his wheelchair.

"Hello, Doctor," I greeted softly.

"Who are you, _really_?" he asked gruffly.

I sighed and pulled a chair in front of him. "Many civilizations have given me titles, been a worshipped as a god too many to count, and made enemies along the way," I began.

"Is there a point to this?" the Doctor interjected irritably.

"Patience is a virtue, Theta Sigma," I scolded lightly. His eyes widen slightly in shock and if I hadn't been paying close attention, I would have missed it entirely; then he schooled his features. "Anyway, in the Hebrew religion they called me _Azriel_, others out in the Gamma Forests call me _The One with Dark Wings_, Daleks simply call me _Death Incarnate_; but you, my dear friend, have called me _the Guardian_."

He took a sharp intake of air. "K-Kai?" he asked quietly.

I gave him a small nod and smile. He pulled me into a hug and his body trembled.

"I thought I killed everyone," his voice cracked as he pulled back. I moved my chair next to him and put my right arm over his shoulders while my left hand held his.

"Theta, it's okay. I'm alive," I reassured him. "It's not your fault. The last days were a nightmare. I would have done the same thing."

"What about _this_ nightmare?" he scoffed.

"Can't really blame this one on yourself though," I laughed. "The other Time Lords already did that for you."

He nodded. "True, but still."

"But he _doesn't want_ our help."

He sighed. "Thank you."

"You've been alone for far too long in that head of yours. May I?" I asked pointing to my temples, he smiled and nodded. I put my fingertips on his temples and he mirrored the action.

'_Can you hear me?'_ I called out.

'_Yes!'_ he smiled. _'Yes. I can hear you.'_

I slowly left his mind and opened my eyes. I laughed with childish glee that I haven't had for years.

'_What was that for?'_ his voice tickled with amusement.

'_It's funny. This is my third time introducing myself to you for your tenth,'_ I laughed. _'Twice in this incarnation.'_

"Well we never go half-cocked, do we?" he asked, now with a smirk.

"Never do," I agreed.

* * *

After a few months, I slowly introduced myself to the Jones' and Capt. Jack Harkness. But of course they were very suspicious of me because, well, other than the Doctor, the other person they associate with my race is a demented psychopath. Totally reasonable.

That changed a few days ago while I was walking around the ship. From the other side of the very long corridor, I heard a loud crash in the conference room. It sounded like cups and a tray of stuff breaking. I began to walk faster to the source. A conversation started echo through the corridor.

"You call that rubbish, _tea_?" a voice boomed. The Master. Shit.

"I-I-I—" a female voice stuttered. Older by the sound of her pitch, so Francine then. _And why the hell is this corridor so long?_

"I-I-I—" the Master mocked. "I think that deserves a punishment, don't you?"

She said nothing.

"You need to learn you lesson, Francine," he sneered. "Not everyone can be trusted."

Just as he was about to strike her, I entered the moon.

"**Stop!**" I shouted. "**Don't you dare, Koschei Oakdown!**"

He faltered and glared icily towards me. "**Or what?**"

"**Or if you're going to punish anyone, do it to me**," I snarled back.

"**You two were always the good ones**," the Master sneered.

I took a few steps so that I was standing between the Master and Francine Jones.

"**Well, it used to be three. But you made sure to make it two**," I growled.

"**I have no idea what you're talking about**," he scoffed defensively.

"**Really?**" I raised a brow. "**Because I do. What happened to **_**Eirian**_**, Master?**"

"**I-I didn't mean to—**" he stuttered, but I interjected.

"**You didn't mean to what, **_**Koschei**_**?**" I spat with so much venom. "**You didn't mean to stab Eirian in the back with his own saber?**" I laughed without humor. "**He saved you from the Daleks.**"

"**B-But he was going to the High Council. He-He was going to inform on me**," he defended himself uselessly.

"**Who else was on the Council? Huh?**" I asked threateningly.

"**Y-Yo-You**," he replied quietly.

"**Exactly!**" I exclaimed and continued with so much fury, I could feel myself vibrating with untold anger. But I kept myself in check, not wanting physically harm to those around me. "**He told me that you were going AWOL and needed protection. **_**I **_**was going to **_**be **_**your protection. But no! You literally stabbed him in the back…**" I trailed and continued quietly. "**He projected to me his last moments you know.**"

The room was deathly quiet, you'd be able to hear a pin drop.

"**I felt him die. He died because you stole his remaining regenerations**," I said quietly without emotion. "**You **_**murdered**_** my brother, I'll **_never_** forgive you.**"

"**I-I'm sorry**," he tried to apologize.

"**All your sorry's won't bring back Eirian**," I laughed cruelly. "**So get it over with and punish me already. I mean, shouldn't it be fun for you?**"

He looked at me with pleading eyes, pleading for forgiveness. I just turned away. Then with a flick of his wrist, he left with his guards.

I crouched down to Francine and began to pick up the broken shards of porcelain. A hand halted me and I looked into her eyes.

"Thank you," she said.

"No need to thank me," I waved it off with a smile. "Just doing it for my conscience."

"Thank you anyway. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't here to save me," she smiled and gave my hands a squeeze. We cleaned the floor with companionable silence.

* * *

"Hello, handsome," Jack greeted me with his trademark smile. "What have I done to deserve your presence?"

"I just volunteered to give you your dinner, Jack. Nothing else," I smirked. I observed his surroundings and put the tray down on the small side table next to him. "No new blood splatter. That's good."

"Yeah. Well, after the number you did on the Master, he's left me alone for the past few days," he explained. "So thanks for that."

I sighed and pulled a chair next to him. "I don't know… He's been eying Japan a bit too intently."

"Oh," his eyes widened. "That's not good."

"Tell me about it."

"Why is he so intent on making you like him though?"

"He is not," I retorted.

"You get good food. Expensive food," he countered.

"Hey, I give my food to the Jones' and you," I said defensively.

"Yeah. But still."

I groaned. "He's had a crush on me since we were kids and I haven't really told him otherwise. And now, I think he's in love with me."

"What?!"

"I know. I know."

After a few minutes of silence, Jack began. "How do you feel about him?"

"I don't know, Jack," I said banging my head on the piping.

"Oi! Stop doing that," Jack admonished.

"Why?" I asked stopping and turned to him, knowing a snide comment was coming.

"You're going to chip the paint," he smiled.

"You are a douche," I punched his shoulder.

He laughed. "No that's your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend. Plus, I'm sort of married. I think…" I said.

"What? How can you be sort of married? Is that even possible?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, think of it as _The Time Traveler's Wife_. Except with lots of explosions, aliens, civilizations in peril, and a lot more emotional baggage," I tried to explain.

He let out a whistle. "Now that's complicated," he breathed. "Now can you feed me?"

"What? Oh right, the chains kind of get in the way. Don't they?" I smirked and took the spoon scooped a small mound of something.

"A bit," he chuckled. "What is it?"

I raised a brow. "Do you really want to know?"

He shrugged. "Probably not," Jack conceded.

* * *

_I was running around my TARDIS flying her back to the Blyledge Manor. It was a last ditch attempt to get my wife, Addiena (the Wonder), and our daughter, Avalon, out of this hellish nightmare. But as I dematerialized out on the driveway, a different image greeted me on the scanner._

_Out front, my wife and daughter are hanging onto each other for dear life. While the Castellans surround them on all sides with their Staser rifles and Rassilon stood next to my wife with a cruel smile etched on his face as I stepped out of my TARDIS._

"_**Guardian, you really should be careful in where leave what you hold dear**__," he jeered as he caressed my wife's cheek. I growled a low threatening sound and I felt my eyes burning bright, and I didn't care._

"_**Leave them out of this**__," my voice deeper than normal, it was not my own. "__**This is your one chance, Rassilon.**__"_

"_**I just need to know where the Doctor is and I'll be out of your way**__," he ignored my threat. "__**I know he's planning something. What is it?**__"_

"_**Why should I tell you? You're nothing but an egotistical megalomaniac hell-bent on living forever,**__" I sneered. "__**Sometimes we as a people live too long. If the elders saw us now, they'd hang their heads in shame of what we've become as a peoples. A corrupt image of what we used to be.**__"_

"_**I don't have time for your philosophical debates. Tell me now or they die**__," he pointed Omega's Gauntlet at Avalon and Addiena. "__**WHERE IS HE?**__"_

'**Don't tell him**,' _Addiena called mentally to me. _'**We can't let this war spread.**'

_I looked at her. She had a defiant glint in her eyes that knew we weren't going to make it out of this._

'**If I don't, you both die**,'_ I whispered in agony. _'**I can't live without you two.**'

'**Then we'll all die**,' _she reasoned and gave me a soft but sad smile. _'**It's fine, love. You will forever be in my hearts.**'

'**You will forever be in mine, Addiena**,' _I said._ '**And I love you, Avalon.**'

'**I love you, too, Daddy**,' _Avalon sniffled._ '**We're not leaving, are we?**"

_My hearts clenched in pain._ '**Yes. Yes we are**,' _I lied with a smile._ '**Just you wait and see, Munchkin.**'

'**Okay, Daddy.**'

"_**No**__," I growled and turned to Rassilon, tears spilling. "__**You lose, Rassilon. You're already too late.**__"_

"_**Then you leave me no choice**__," he lifted the gauntlet and fired two shots both hitting my wife and child in the heart without hope of regeneration._

_My world shattered in that instant. I lost all control and began cutting down the Castellan guard through the Vortex energy that flowed freely and without mercy. When I finally stopped, it was only Rassilon who was left standing._

"_**What are you?**__" he stammered in fear but stood with a strong resolve._

"_**I am the Nameless. Omnipotent and omniscient. You have killed what this Time Lord deems is precious in his hearts,**__" I said no longer in control. "__**I have no mercy. So tell me, what should I do with you?**__"_

_Rassilon laughed. "__**You can't hurt me! I am Lord President, and I AM FOREVER!**__"_

"_**Then whatever happens now is your own doing,**__" I lifted my hand. His smirk turned into a contorted and painful grimace. It was pulling his atoms apart. I could see the x-ray outlined skeleton. He screamed for me to stop, but I did not relent until a soft voice called out to me._

"_**Daddy, stop!**__" Avalon cried out softly. "__**Daddy, please!**__"_

_I turned to my daughter and the Nameless faded away slowly. I ran to her side and pulled her body onto my lap._

"_**Munchkin… I'm here. Daddy's here,**__" I stammered. She smiled tiredly up at me. "__**What did you need?**__"_

"_**I need—I needed t-to tell you…**__" she tried but was slowly losing an uphill battle._

"_**What, Avalon?**__" I whispered softly. "__**What is it?**__"_

"_**Don't cry, Daddy,**__" she reached out to wipe the tears away. "__**You are the—the b-best daddy in the whole universe,**__" and with that she smiled and closed her eyes. Her body slumped as she slipped away._

_I cried out an inhuman scream, slowly rocking my daughter's lifeless form._

* * *

A gentle shaking was slowly letting that dream fade away into the back burner. It was Jack's concerned face that hovered over mine.

"Guardian? Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Just a dream," I lied and stood up. "I probably should get to my quarters."

"Right. Don't want people thinking we're a couple," he joked weakly. I gave him a grateful smile.

"Thanks, Jack. Goodnight," I said.

"Take care of yourself, Guardian. You can talk to me if you need to," he said with a small smile. "Goodnight."

I turned and left the engine room.

* * *

**I sort of teared up at writing some of that. I am lame. Anyway, R&R guys.**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	12. Sacrifices

**A/N Yay! Finals are mostly over, so it's much easier to write. So without much further ado...**

**Bold-**Gallifreyan

_'Italics'_-telepathic conversations

**Disclaimer: Asking sensitive questions, is just rude...FINE! I DO NOT OWN DOCTOR WHO. Happy?**

* * *

I entered the conference room escorted with an armed guard. A blank look covered my face from any emotions that brewed within me. I was brimming with anger and fury. _What in Omega's name did he think that was a good idea and would get into my good graces?_ I thought angrily.

A few weeks ago, the Master had seen me talking and laughing with the Doctor about the past. It must have sparked some sort of jealousy that he tried to have the 'Spheres of Doom' obliterate Japan to shreds. I manage to talk him down and then he had the _gall_ to _apologize_. As if that would appease my resentment towards him, I refused and just gave him the silent treatment.

"Good to have you here, Guardian," the Master spoke pulling me out of my thoughts and smiled as I sat at the far end of the conference table.

"You're the one who made me come over here," I said apathetically with a shrug. "I'd probably be more entertained with pigeons shitting on the _Toclafane_."

He scowled at me briefly before changing the subject.

"Time for my massage. Who shall I have today?" he wondered out loud. "Tanya. Come on, sweetheart. Lucy, have you met Tanya? She's gorgeous…"

I rolled my eyes and tuned out the idiot.

I stayed in my seat when the alarms did blare and just twiddled with my thumbs like there wasn't anything going on. I rested my forehead on the table with my arms resting on my lap, humming _Some Nights _by Fun., while chaos ensued around me, until the Doctor said a threat to the Master. I finally raise my head to the scene.

"I told you. I have one thing to say," the Doctor said hoarsely trying the laser screwdriver but it didn't work. The Master snatched it out of his grip.

"Isomorphic controls," I answered the Doctor's unvoiced question and crossed directly in front of Francine, effectively blocking her from any danger.

"Yes," the Master confirmed as he backhands the Doctor to the ground. "Which means they only work for me. Like this," he fired a shot inches from my neck. I barely bat an eye at his scare tactics. He scowls at me.

"Mum!" Tish cried running over to her mother. They clutched each other tightly.

"What?" I smirked.

"You knew!" the Master accused.

"Did someone take their stupid pills today?" I sighed and he glowered in my direction. I chose to ignore that and turned to Francine "You alright?"

She nodded with a grateful smile. I turned back to the Master with a burning glare in full force. He flinched slightly before shrugging it off.

"Didn't you learn anything from the blessed Saint Martha?" the Master sneered. "Siding with the Doctor is a very dangerous thing to do."

"Wouldn't know. I didn't have the pleasure of meeting the girl," I shrugged non-committally. "And I'd rather side with the Doctor any day of the week. Saves me the time from dealing with the moronic henchmen."

"Take them away," the Master growled. I moved to go with the two women. "Not you, Guardian. You and I need to have a _chat_ with the Doctor."

Another guard put pressed his rifle against my back roughly, probably because of the 'moronic henchmen' jibe, to sit at the seat closest to the stairs at the conference table. I was tired of getting pushed around, so in one swift movement I clipped the guard on his nerve clusters between the neck and shoulder. He fell with a _THUD!_ as I immediately sat down, two rifles cocking in my direction.

"What?" I asked as I put my hands in surrender. Then I rested my elbows on the armrests and intertwined my hands on my stomach. The Master glowers at me and then motions for the guards to stand down. "He's been trying to touch my ass for the past week."

The Doctor looks at me with amusement and shakes his head. The Master moves in front of the Doctor in disgust.

"Okay, gotcha. There you go Gramps," the Master seats the Doctor next to me. He turns to me and continues. "Oh, do you know, I remember the days when the Doctor, oh, that famous Doctor, was waging a time war. Battling Sea Devils and Axons. He sealed the rift at the Medusa Cascade single-handed…" he trailed off and looked at me expectantly.

"I have no idea what you want me to say," I raised a brow. "What? Seriously. I don't. Umm—I've always wanted a pet dog named Raxicoricofallapatorius or Rax for short…"

The Master moves in front of me with his arms crossed. I propped my feet on the table.

"Aren't you tired of him yet?" the Master snarled. "He's nothing but dead weight."

"The Doctor isn't a toy to be played with, _Master_," I rolled my eyes at him. "He's a person and one of my _best friends_."

"But look at him now. Stealing screwdrivers," he scoffed.

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" I laughed without humor. "You've reduced one of your old friends to something else and enslaved the human population for your own purposes. How am I supposed to forgive you, when you give me _no reason_ to?!"

"I just need you to _listen_," the Doctor interjected, pulling attention back to him. The Master turns to him with malice in his eyes.

"No, it's _my_ turn. Revenge! Best served hot. And this time—" the Master paused for dramatic effect. "It's a message for Miss Jones."

I sighed and closed my eyes, hoping this was all a bad dream.

* * *

A static-y, black and white image of the Master appeared, "My people," the Master called into the camera, "Salutations on this, the eve of war. Lovely woman. But I know there are all sorts of whispers down there. Stories of a child, walking the Earth, giving you _hope_," he stepped back to stand beside the Doctor.

"But I ask you…how much hope has this man got?" he gestured to the Doctor, "Say hello, Gandalf. Except he's not _that_ old but he's an alien with a much greater lifespan than you stunted, little apes. What if it showed? What if I suspend your capacity to regenerate? All 900 years of your life, Doctor. What if we could see them?" the Master held out the screwdriver, activating it.

"Older and older and older. Down you go, Doctor," the Doctor screamed in agony. "Down, down, down you go."

"**Koschei, stop it!**" I growled and he does. The Doctor came out of his now oversized clothes with a large domed head with huge, blinking eyes. I moved beside him.

'_Theta? Are you alright?'_ I asked. He nodded tiredly. _'I'll get you better clothes as soon as I can.'_

The Doctor smiled wanly and I wrapped him with his dress shirt.

The Master smirked wickedly. "Received and understood, Miss Jones?"

The transmission cuts out and I stormed out of the conference room to go find a change of clothes for the Doctor and to Jack. I wanted to punch something and I don't think being in the close proximity of the Master would be good for his health at the moment.

* * *

"Jack, I _hate_ him," I seethed to Jack. He raised a brow. "Okay not hate, but he's grating on my last nerve."

He snickered and I raised a brow, knowing what I said was not funny at all.

"I can see that. Hell, everyone can," he laughed. "Apparently, the Master never got that memo."

I snorted. "It's like he's the stalker ex-boyfriend who won't stop insisting on getting back together, when clearly the other party isn't interested, _at all_."

"He _was_ your boyfriend?" Jack gaped.

I smacked the back of his head and he gave an indignant 'Oi!'

"No, you idiot. It's just an analogy," I scoffed and continued sarcastically. "He's not exactly boyfriend material is he? I mean you're a bloody saint compared to him."

"Are you asking me on a date?" Jack grinned.

"Buy me a drink first," I smirked back.

"You're hard work though," he laughed.

"But worth it," I laughed. "Isn't that a conversation you had with the Doctor once?"

He giggled and nodded. "Wait! How did you—?"

I smiled enigmatically. "I see everything that was, that is, what will be and what must not."

"So he told you?" Jack guessed.

I just smirked in response.

"Well?" he asked.

"I already told you Jack," I said. "Oh and when this is over, tell Ianto how you feel already."

He eyes widened and gaped at me like a fish.

I closed his slack jaw. "Watch it. You might catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that," I snickered. He cleared his throat and gave a sheepish smile. "Just so you know, you break his heart, I break you," I deadpanned. He started to laugh, but I didn't join in. I just raised a brow and he coughed awkwardly. "And there is no place in this universe where I won't find you, Harkness."

I gave him an innocent smile and he gulped nervously. "I would do my best."

"Good boy," I praised and stood up. "Alright, Jack. See you in a few."

Just as I was about to reach the threshold, he shouted, "Wait!"

I looked back. "Yes, Jack?"

"I've been meaning to ask…" he trailed, but quickly amended. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

I walked back to the chair and sat. I just stared expectantly. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"I was wondering why you're not like the Doctor?" it came out in a rush.

I tilted my head in confusion. "What do you mean? I'm a different Time Lord, of course I wouldn't be like the Doctor."

He groaned. "That—umm—you—Dammit! You're a friend, why can't I do this?" he spoke to no one in particular and shook his head. He took a deep breath and spoke very quickly. "I mean why aren't you so closed off like the Doctor? You've told me a lot about your life on Gallifrey, the War, your life in the other dimension, _your wife and child_, things that you've _never_ told anyone."

"Okay and?" I prompted.

'_You even connected to me telepathically. What makes me—why am I so special?'_ he continued. _'Why are you telling me this?'_

I sighed heavily and ran tired hand through my shaggy hair._ 'Because I trust you, Jack,'_ I said finally.

'_Really?' _he asked, eyebrows raised.

'_Yes, really… And it feels _nice_ to actually to talk about it.'_

'_I feel honored. I really mean that. Thank you, Guardian.'_

'_I should be the one thanking you, Jack. I actually feel free, and haven't been in such a long time, from everything that's happened. I lived in the other dimension for eighteen years as a human and away from the responsibilities of a Time Lord. Responsibilities that hurt like hell,'_ I paused to gather my thoughts and reign in my emotions._ 'In an unexpected way, becoming human healed me for the most part. I can talk about the War and not feel like I'm going to puke up bile. I know I did things I regret, but I know that I can't change them. So I moved on,'_ I gave a small laugh that was a little strained, but if Jack noticed, he didn't comment.

After a few minutes of silence, Jack spoke again. _'So are you at peace with yourself?'_

I smiled and shook my head._ 'At peace? No. Content? Definitely.'_

* * *

The Doctor and I were watching the darken windows in conference room while I stood next the cage. Knowing the damage the Master had caused to the people below.

"**I'm sorry that I couldn't stop what he did to you**," I said quietly, breaking the silence.

He didn't turn to look at me, but kept staring ahead. "**There was nothing you could have done.**"

I sighed and hung my head. "**I could have tried harder. I should have been more careful. You didn't deserve that.**"

He finally turned to me. "**There were too many variables and none of them good, so stop beating yourself about it. I'm**—"

Whatever he was going to say was halted by the hiss from the doors. We both turned to the sound where The Master and Lucy Cole Saxon appeared.

"Tomorrow they launch," the Master announced gleefully with Lucy clinging to his arm. "We're opening up a rift in the Braccatolian space. They won't see us coming. Kinda scary."

"Then stop," the Doctor pleaded hoarsely.

"Once the empire is established and there's a new Gallifrey in the heavens, maybe then… _it stops_," he paused and took a few steps closer. "The drumming. The never-ending drum beat," his voice becomes reminiscent of the past. "Ever since I was a child. I looked into the vortex. That's when it chose me. The drumming, the call to war," he looks at us both. "Can't you hear it? Listen, it's there now. Right now. Tell me you can hear it, Doctor and Guardian. Tell me."

"It's only you," the Doctor says at the same time I said, "Yes."

They both look at me in surprise and I continued. "They're not a 'call to war.' They're much more twisted than that."

"Tell me," the Master growled, grabbing my collar. "Tell me now!"

"The Time Lords were getting desperate and they knew the Doctor's plan to put the Time War in the Time Lock," I explained and he let go. I straightened my clothing and continued. "That drumming isn't a Time Lord's hearts beating or drumming at all—but a signal to get them out of the Time Lock."

His eyes widen and laughed with glee. "But that's good! Oh, I should—"

"No, Shay. It's not," I interrupted. "Not only is Rassilon bringing the Time Lords out of the Time Lock, but he's also bringing the abominations of that war," I paused, accentuating what that meant. "The Horde of Travesties, the Could've Been King and his Army of Meanwhiles and Neverweres, and the Nightmare Child. The _hell_ Gallifrey became, it will descend onto the universe."

"And what a world it would be," he grinned. He didn't understand, so I needed something that would hit the point home.

"The _Skaro Degradations_," I spat coldly. He stiffened.

"What?" he breathed, his voice squeaked.

"Have you ever thought about not having the drums in your head?" I asked, changing the subject. "I think, I know how to fix that."

"How?" he asked. "I've tried everything."

The door opened again and a sphere entered the room, as I was about to respond to the Master's question.

"Tomorrow, the war. Tomorrow we rise. Never to fall," the female sphere recited, a sort of demented chant.

The Master cleared his throat from the shock. "You see? I'm doing it for them!" the Master gestured mockingly. "You should be grateful! After all, you both love them. So very, very much."

He walked over to the other side of the table and sat down.

"I took Lucy to Utopia. A Time Lord and his human companion," the Master mocked from his seat. "I took her to see the stars. Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

"Trillions of years into the future," Lucy recounted. "To the end of the universe."

"Tell them what you saw."

"Dying. Everything dying. The whole of creation was falling apart. And I thought…there's no point," her voice cold, devoid of anything. _What the hell did he do to her?_ "No point to anything. Not ever."

"And it's all your fault, _Doctor_," the Master sneered. "You should have seen it, Guardian. Furnaces, burning. The last of humanity screaming at the dark, all that human invention that had sustained them across the eons and it all turned inwards. They cannibalized themselves."

"We made ourselves so pretty," the female sphere rationalized.

"Regressing into children. But it didn't work. The universe was collapsing around them," the Master explained. "My masterpiece, Doctor. A living TARDIS strong enough to hold the paradox in place. Allowing the past and the future to collide in infinite majesty."

"But you're changing history itself," I argued. "Not just Earth, but the _entire universe_ and maybe even other ones as well."

"I'm a Time Lord," he stated matter-of-factly. "I have that right."

"But even then, why come all this way just to destroy?" the Doctor asked.

"We've come backwards in time to build a brand new empire lasting 100 trillion years," the sphere cheered.

"With me as their master. Time Lord and humans combined. Haven't you always dreamt of that, Doctor?" the Master said airily. "Human race. The greatest monster of them all, night-night_._"

And with that, he left with Lucy and the sphere followed.

"Why won't that ass-wipe listen for once in goddamn life?" I turned to the Doctor exasperated.

"Is it true?" he asked.

"**Theta—**"

"**Please, just tell me,**" he said in a broken tone.

I closed my eyes and sat down in a _seiza-_style of sitting and took a deep breath before starting.

"**Yes, Theta,**" I replied still with my eyes closed. "**This was why I was forced to regenerate when I tried to stop them. Everything that's happened to him is my fault, I couldn't—**"

"**Stop it! Stop it, now!**" the Doctor interrupted. "**The past is past, what we need to do is look to the future. Tomorrow is the last day.**"

"**I hope you're right, Theta,**" I sighed and laid down on the cot next to the cage. I thought about Lucy shooting her husband and his refusal to regenerate despite the Doctor's pleas. "**I hope really you're right.**"

* * *

The lights flickered on. I sat up rubbing my eyes to get them less blurry and saw the Master saunter in grinning maniacally.

"Guess what?" he asked smiling.

"Slitheen butt?" I responded groggily.

He laughed crazily. "No, Martha Jones," he replied giddily and then left the room again.

"Can he not do that when we're trying to get some sleep?" I complained and let my body fall back onto the cot. "It's too early for his bullshit right now."

The Doctor gave small chuckle. "Only you would be complaining about his office hours."

* * *

"Citizens of Earth, rejoice and observe," the Master's voice said over the loudspeaker as Martha was brought to the bridge of the _Valiant_. She was then led to the center of the room as the Master awaited her arrival from atop the stairs.

"Your teleport device. In case you thought I'd forgotten," the Master outstretched his hand. "And now…kneel," which she does, "Down below, the fleet is ready to launch. Two hundred thousand ships set to burn across the universe. Are we ready?"

"The fleet awaits your signal," a man replied. "Rejoice!"

"Three minutes to align the black hole converters," he turned and flicked on a clock on the wall to count down the seconds, "Counting down! I never could resist a ticking clock. My children, are you ready?"

"We will fly and blaze and slice!" came the cry of the millions of spheres hovering over the Earth, "We will fly and blaze and slice!"

"At zero, to mark this day, the child, Martha Jones, will die," the Master announced, "Ha, my first blood. Ha, any last words? No?" he looked over at us and I glared at him from beside the Doctor. He smirked at the shriveled alien, "Such a disappointment, this one. Days of old, Doctor, you had companions who could absorb the Time Vortex. This one's useless!" he turned back to Martha, "Bow your head. And so it falls to me, the Master of all, to establish from this day, a new order of Time Lords! From this day forward…" Martha laughed, "What? What's so funny?"

"A gun?" I called from the side smiling.

"What about it?"

"A gun in four parts?" Martha raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, and I destroyed it."

"A gun, in four parts, scattered across the world? I mean, come on. Did you _really_ believe that?"

"What do you mean?" he took a step back.

"As if I would ask her to kill," the Doctor smiled, leaning forward in the bars.

"God you're a bit thick these days!" I laughed and he scowled.

"Oh, well, it doesn't matter. I've got her exactly where I want her."

"But I knew what Professor Docherty would do," Martha explained, "The Resistance knew about her son. I told her about the gun, so she'd get me here. At the right time."

"Oh, but you're still gonna die!"

"Don't you wanna know what I was doing? Travelling the world?"

"Tell me."

"I told a story, that's all. No weapons, just words. I did just what the Doctor said. I went across the continents all on my own. And everywhere I went, I found the people, and I told them my story. I told them about the Doctor. And I told them to pass it on, to spread the word so that everyone would know about the Doctor."

"Faith and hope?" the Master laughed, "Is that all?"

"No, 'cos I gave them an instruction," she stood, "Just as the Doctor said. I told them that if everyone thinks of one word, at one specific time…"

"Nothing will happen!" he insisted, "Is that your weapon? Prayer?"

"Right across the world," I corrected smugly. "One word, one thought, one moment… with _15 satellites_!"

"What?" his widen in horror.

"The Archangel Network, or you know human psychic energy functioning as regenerative energy?"

"A telepathic field binding the whole human race together, with all of them, every single person on Earth, thinking the same thing at the same time," Martha laughed, "And that word…is Doctor."

The countdown reached zero just as a glowing field surrounded the Doctor. I grinned at the Doctor and he back at me. I took a few steps back as it grew and expanded.

"Stop it!" the Master yelled, "No, no, no, no you don't!"

"Doctor," Jack whispered, closing his eyes to focus.

"Doctor," Mrs. Jones followed suit.

"Do—" the Master looked around in horror as various security screens showed crowds of people across the world gathering outside, all chanting Doctor, "Stop this right now! Stop it!"

"Doctor," Lucy added.

"Doctor," Jack chanted.

"Doctor," Martha said.

The energy field expanded, breaking the cage, transforming the Doctor from the shriveled alien to an old man, reversing the process.

"I've had a whole year to tune myself into the psychic network and integrate with its matrices," the Doctor explained.

"I order you to stop!" the Master demanded as more and more people began to chant Doctor all over the world.

The Master's horrified eyes landed on mine before I closed them, "Doctor."

The field around the Doctor flared as I was added to everyone else's thoughts, golden streaks engulfed him along with the blue. I had been able to tap into the Archangel Network's psychic network as well, my mind amplifying the rest as the Doctor returned to his normal self.

"The one thing you can't do," the Doctor continued, "Stop them thinking," Martha and Jack laughed while the Master looked shocked. Using the telepathic field, the Doctor began to levitate, "Tell me the human race is degenerate now when they can do _this_."

Martha ran to her family, hugging her mother and sister.

"No!" the Master shouted, firing his laser at the Doctor, but the field deflected it.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor shook his head at the Master, "I'm so sorry."

"Then I'll kill them!" he turned his laser at Martha and her family, about to fire, but instead of being flung across the room, it was disintegrated because of my added support.

"You can't do that!" the Master shouted. "You can't do—that's not fair!"

I rolled my eyes. "Right, because _were_ the bad guys."

"And you know what happens now," said the Doctor arriving at the floor.

"No, no, no," the Master repeated.

"Because you know what I'm going to say."

"No!"

The Doctor walked over to the whimpering Master. "I forgive you."

"My children!"

The spheres began shouting. "Protect the paradox! Protect the paradox!"

"Jack! The paradox machine!," I shouted.

"Men! With me!," Jack shouted.

The Master pulled out the Vortex Manipulator. The Doctor caught sight of him and rushed over.

"No!," he shouted just as they disappeared.

"That's cool too," I grumbled and ran over to the main controls. "It's not like all six billion spheres are headed straight for us or anything!"

"Is there anything you can do?" Francine called as she and the others ran towards where I was. I turned to her.

"Not without endangering everyone else," I sighed. "There's nothing else we _can_ do but pray."

Just as the spheres were about to reach the ship, they disappeared. The ship rocked and Martha was propelled backwards me.

"Hi," I said awkwardly.

"Hello," she responded. The Doctor appeared next us.

"Right...Everyone down!" I called shielding Martha under me as the ship rocked. "Time is reversing!"

The ship finally stopped and I leapt up pulling Martha along with me. The Doctor stood rushing towards the control panel, flipping the communications switches.

"This is UNIT Central," a man came over the comm. link, "What's happened up there? We just saw the President assassinated!"

"You see? Just after the President was killed, but just before the spheres arrived. Everything back to normal. Planet Earth restored. None of it happened. The rockets, the terror. It never was," said the Doctor.

"What about the spheres?" Martha asked tentatively.

"Trapped at the end of the universe," I shrugged. "Hopefully for good."

"But I remember it," Francine countered.

"We were at the eye of the storm," I explained.

"The only ones who will remember it," the Doctor continued then helped Clive up off the floor. "Oh hello Mr. Jones! We haven't actually met."

The Master tries to make a break for it, but runs into Jack. "Whoa big fella! Don't want to miss the party. Cuffs," a soldier handed it Jack. "So what do we do with this one?"

"We kill him," Clive glared.

"We execute him," Tish demanded.

"No, that's not the solution," the Doctor insisted.

"Oh, I think it is," Francine lifted a gun towards the Master. I put my hands up inching in front of the Francine to block the Master. "'Cos all those…things, they still happened because of him. I_ saw_ them."

"Go on!" the Master smirked, "Do it!"

"Don't listen to him, Francine. You are _so much_ better than him," I took tentative steps closer to her until the muzzle of the gun was pressed up against my chest. "If you want to kill him, you'll have to shoot me first."

Her hands were shaking and a finger on the trigger. She lowered the gun slowly and I let it clatter onto the ground. I pulled her into a tight hug in which she reciprocated.

"That wasn't fair," she said muffled into my chest. I chuckled and pulled away slightly.

"Who said anything about playing fair?" I smiled and handed her to Martha, who looked stunned at the affection.

"You still haven't answered the question. What happens to me?" the Master asked.

"You're our responsibility," I told him. I walked over to look him in the eye, the Doctor watching me, "By all rights, we _should_ let them kill you. But that would make us just like you, wouldn't it?"

He swallowed hard and looked away.

"But you can't trust him," Jack argued, stepping forward to look at us.

"No," the Doctor agreed, "The only safe place for him is the TARDIS."

"You mean you're just gonna…keep me?" the Master frowned.

"In the TARDIS though?" Jack stepped over to the Doctor, speaking quietly.

"Hmm," he nodded, "If that's what I have to do," he at Jack, "It's time to change. Maybe I've been wandering for too long. Now I'll have someone else to care for. There's room for you too, Guardian."

I smiled. "Can't, not from these parts," I said vaguely. "But you'll see me again."

While everyone else was preoccupied, I saw Lucy grab the gun raise it towards the Master, I had seconds to react and I lunged in path of the bullet before the shot rang out, hitting my chest. The Master was immediately by my side shouting for someone to uncuff him, as he managed to get the restraints to the front and was able to grab me before I fell to the ground.

"There we go. I've got you. I've got you," the Master reassured as he lowered me to the floor. The Doctor took pity and sonicked the cuffs, instead of running the Master held me closer.

I smiled weakly. "You know, I was thinking in not doing that. But then my brain went: 'What the hell?' So I did."

"It's just a bullet. Regenerate!" he pleaded. "Please!"

I felt my body getting weaker and weaker. I coughed into my hand and I saw the blood. Oh. Organ failure. That's nice.

"**I'm sorry, Shay,**" I slurred cupping his wet cheeks. He held my hand there, kissing it softly. "**I can't. It's the end of the line for me. I don't have any left.**"

Everyone else around the room had no clue of what was going on, so they kept silent as the scene before them unfolded.

"**No! You have to!**" he cried. "**You can't die. _Please_.**"

"**You kn-know, i-if you weren't s-such an ass, I would have dated you. You lunatic, you,**" I stuttered. Both chuckled sadly. The lids of my eyes were starting to droop and it was getting much more appealing to just give in to the exhaustion. "**I-I wish we could have gone to the Medusa Cascade— I-I wi-wish we could have done m-more. I love you guys, K-Koschei and Theta** **S-Sigma.**"

"P-Please don't hurt the Master—" I called to the others in the room. "P-please—"

I felt the exhaustion pulling me, taking over and I fell into the darkness.

* * *

**What? What happened to the Guardian? Is he or isn't he dead? Find out next time. ;D Don't forget to review please. Reviews are like puppies and kittens.**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	13. Staph Saving Me Dammit!

**A/N Did you guys really think I was that heartless and kill off my main character? I am not Moffat, nor will I try to be. So no throwing main characters off of high-ass buildings. With that being said, I'm going to say that this may or may not be a happy-ending kind of one.**

_Italics- Thoughts  
'Italics'- Telepathy_

**Disclaimer: Still a no. Really. Seriously.**

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

What the hell? Why does everything hurt and in darkness? I thought I was dead. Oh. Oh shitake mushrooms. But I don't want to be in Hell! Or where ever this shit is!

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

What in Omega's name is that annoying-ass sound? … Yup, probably my own personal hell. Well isn't this just freaking _delightful_? I don't want to listen to a Time Lord's heartsbeat or if this is some sick twist on Koschei's drum beats, I am **NOT** going to be happy camper. But that sounds so familiar like a heart, or rather a hearts, monitor… Hold on—that's not—no. Are you shitting me _now_? But I made my goddamn peace! _You!_ You know who you are in the non-corporeal planes, I hope you choke on Sriracha and you have no other drink to relieve the burn but soda! Yeah, fuck you, too. I was content! I did **NOT **sign up for this abuse!

I sighed. _Can this get any worse?_

As if somewhere up above they felt fuck with me even more, my head felt like Death warmed over and it was pounding something fierce. Then, I felt something warm encasing my left hand. My vision was blurry at first as opened them to slightly harsh lighting.

The TARDIS lightly dimmed the brightness, sensing my conscious state.

When it cleared, the sight of a shorthaired brunette clasping my hand tightly while sitting on a chair, although he was asleep, his head resting on his arms on the bed caught my attention.

_As much as I like not dying and not going to my own personal hell, how the fuck am I still alive?_ I rambled/thought to myself.

'_Shaaaayy?'_ I sing-songed telepathically. _'Shaaaayy, wake up.'_

"Go away, you're just a hallucination," the Master growled sleepily.

'_But, Shaaaayy!'_ I whined and smirked probably enjoying this a bit too much._ 'Come on, Shay!_

"No! You're not—" his sentence halted as his gaze immediately snapped to mine when he lifted his head.

I grinned widely. "Real?" I suggested.

He leapt from his chair onto the bed, wrapping himself on me with a tight embrace. His body was trembling and I had to coax him to let go, seeing as my respiratory bypass wasn't working properly yet. But he stayed on the bed on my left side.

"Why am I alive, Shay?" I asked bluntly but he didn't answer. I raised my brow expectantly. "…well, I'm waiting."

He mumbled something under his breath and was staring at his hands instead of looking into my eyes.

"What was that?" I asked agitated.

"I gave you 5 of my regenerations!" he shouted. I turned his face to mine.

"What?" I rasped out uncomprehendingly. "You _what_?"

"You blacked out and I panicked. So, I gave five of the ten I had left," he explained quickly and nervously. "But it turns out—your body just knocked you out for a healing coma."

I sighed and rubbed my face irritably. "Damn it, Koschei! Next time, if that ever happens, just let die in peace. I really don't need this kind of bullshit."

"No."

"No? What in the _hell_ do you mean _no_?"

He got off the bed and began to pace animatedly while talking.

"I can't lose you again. I was an arrogant arse, moron, wanker; any insult you can name, I'm it. I never told you how I really felt about you and it tore at me when you had married Addiena. So whenever I had tried to 'Take Over the World' so to speak, it was just so I can see you."

"You couldn't drop by the manor like a _normal_ Time Lord and say 'Hi'?"

"I'm not a normal Time Lord," he retorted.

"No, you're not. You're psychotic," I countered.

"I resent that," he huffed.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Good… Seriously though, why didn't you just pop by? The Doctor managed to once in a while, when he _wasn't_ messing with civilizations and timelines."

"Your wife wouldn't let me," he grumbled petulantly.

I laughed. "It's probably due to the fact that when you two first met, you'd threaten her with bodily harm. She didn't exactly know you well enough that it was meant as a joke. I would've done the same thing. Plus you knew I was in the High Council, why not then?"

"The Castellans wouldn't let me near you," he spat irritably.

"Again, the bodily harm thing," I replied with a laugh. "I'm starting to sense a pattern here, Shay."

"Shut up!" he muttered. "That's not funny!"

"Come on! Lighten up!" I chuckled and then asked softly. "Is the drumming still there?"

He gulped. "It hurts, Kai," he whimpered. "Please make the drums stop."

I sighed. "Do you trust me?"

He nodded. I lifted my fingers and placed them on either side of his temples. I then proceeded to shut off any unnecessary mental brain activity, which incidentally made him go limp and sleep. When I pulled out of his mind, I noticed a bracelet of sorts attached to my right wrist.

_Why does that look like Jack's 51__st__ century handcuffs? Oh. Probably because they _are_ his handcuffs. Where's the second—oh. _**Of course**_ Shay is attached to me. Hmm… Sweatpants and a white v-neck tee._ I looked in the sweats. _**WHO CHANGED MY UNDERPANTS?!**__ I really hope it wasn't Harkness, if he did, I can never look him in the eyes in this incarnation._

"Sexy?" I called out to the TARDIS.

'_Yes, Guardian?'_ She answered back.

"Umm—how do you feel about the Master currently?" I asked quietly.

I felt the room shudder and the atmosphere felt like fury combined with intense sadness, and it wasn't aimed directly towards the Master, but more likely his situation.

'_Yes, I will do it. On one condition,'_ the TARDIS reading my thoughts.

"Shoot."

'_You have to keep the Doctor from "fixing" my innards when he's bored or when he's running away from a problem.'_

"You do know that's close to impossible for him, right?"

She laughed. _'I know.'_

"You are evil, you know that?"

The TARDIS's glee vibrated around me, leaving me to know that she's forgiven the dumbass.

* * *

You know for someone small compared to me, the Master is pretty heavy. Lugging the poor bastard to control room in a fireman's carry was kind of tiring.

"Hey, super-troopers!" I announced to the TARDIS crew in which consisted of Martha Jones, Capt. Jack Harkness, and the Doctor. "So I'm just going place him here."

They look at me like I was barmy, which I'm not that surprised. The Master was lying in front where part of the console lifts up to the Heart of the TARDIS.

"I'm ready when you are, Sweetness," I called to the ceiling. I then turned to the humans. "You might want to cover your eyes."

The console lifted up and the ethereal glow slowly and wisps of the Vortex wrap around the Master like a blanket. And then as quickly as it came, the tendrils of light left the Master and I immediately pulled his head onto my lap, waiting for him to wake up.

Not even three seconds when that thought came out was when he gasped awake and he desperately clung to me.

"It's okay, I'm here and I'm not leaving you," I reassured him and repeated it until his body somewhat relaxed. "Are they gone, Shay?"

He closed his eyes for minute, his brow furrowed with concentration. When he finally opened his eyes, it was filled with pure relief and joy.

"Yes!" he laughed ecstatically and was jumping up and down from his happiness. He pulled me up to join him in his happy dance. He began to his utter thanks and hugged me tightly before letting me go, although not completely as he held my hand of which I didn't have any thoughts of letting go.

A throat cleared and I turned to the sound, which was the Doctor who had his frown-y face on and the other two looking bemused.

"Oh, hello!" I exclaimed brightly.

"You care to explain?" the Doctor asked tiredly.

"Well, the Master here—" the Master interrupted me.

"Koschei."

I blinked. "Really? Are you sure?"

He nodded. "I just want to start over. What better way than it to be the person I was before all the stupid stuff I did."

"Right, _Koschei_ here needed a sort of virus sweep and elimination," I continued. "And the TARDIS did that because she needed a favor."

The Doctor raised a brow. "What kind of favor?"

"Oh, you'll know when you see it," I smiled.

"You know that sounded scary and ominous?" Koschei mused. "And that's coming from me."

"Trust me. When the TARDIS gets going, she can get pretty scary," I retorted back.

He nodded his head. "True."

There was a brief silence.

"What does this mean?" Jack finally spoke up.

"It means I don't hear the drums anymore," Koschei answered smiling. "They're finally gone, thanks to the Guardian."

"No, Shay. It was the TARDIS who did that for you. She should be the one who you should be thanking," I corrected and crossed to sit down on the jump seat. "All I did was carry you here. Anyway, what does a Time Lord have to do to get some tea service in this hotel?"

"I'll do it!" Koschei volunteered.

He patted the console thankfully and the TARDIS hummed a 'welcome' back.

"I'll go with you," Jack stated and started to follow him out.

"Hey, Jack!" he turned to me. "You hurt one hair on his, I'll make sure you won't ever come back," and smiled sweetly at him. He just shook his head with a smile. "Thanks, Pumpkin!"

"Whatever you say, Lamb Chop!" he called back from the corridors.

* * *

"Right, down to business," I started seriously. "…which one of you changed my clothes?"

Whatever they thought I was going to ask, they thought it would be very important and weighty. Because by the looks they were giving me, it was way further than my current train of thought.

"That was me," Martha replied quietly.

I breathed a sigh of relief and gave a small laugh.

The Doctor furrowed his brows. "What's so funny?"

"I'm just happy it wasn't Jack who did it," I muttered grateful.

"Believe me, he tried!" the Doctor laughed.

I shook my head in disbelief. "Even when I'm unconscious, he still wants to get into my pants," I griped.

An awkward silence lulled the conversation. It was Martha who spoke again.

"I don't mean to be rude, but who are you?" Martha asked. "The only things they said were that you were an old childhood friend and classmate of the Doctor and the Master. They wouldn't even give me your name, they said and I quote: 'It would be more polite to ask him when he wakes up,' end quote."

I looked at her bemusement etching my features.

"Polite?" I asked with a raised brow. She rolled her eyes and nodded. I turned to the Doctor. "Rude and not ginger."

He glared playfully back.

"You know you've hanging out with the Doctor when you start saying long strings of words all in one breath," I laughed and she blushed. I took a step forward and shook her hand while introducing myself. "I'm the Guardian and I'm a Pisces. You are—?"

"Wait. _You'r_e the Guardian?" She asked in awe.

I narrowed my eyes. "What have you heard?"

"That you stopped the Master in obliterating Japan and helped get more food to all the labor camps," Martha replied softly.

"Oh."

Just then Koschei and Jack came back with a tray full of biscuits and tea. All mugs were passed around.

_Oh, that tea's heavenly._ I thought.

"So did you guys play nicely?" I joked, but then I noticed something with Koschei's demeanor. "You alright, Shay?"

"Yeah! I fine," he plastered a fake smile. "Seriously, I'm alright."

I turned to Jack. "Well?" I growled threateningly.

"We just talked."

"About what?" I took a step forward and crossed my arms.

"About you."

"Jack—" the Doctor warned.

"No, no," I interjected. "I want to hear what he has to say."

Jack took a deep breath. "He's not good enough for you."

I raised a brow. I threw an edge to my voice. "Excuse me? I don't think I heard you right. Say that again?"

"He's not good enough for you," he repeated, his voice firm.

"Oh. And you think you are?" I asked. I was angry. Ok, angry was an understatement. I was beyond pissed.

"No! I'm just trying to protect you!"

"Protect _me_?! Jack, I'm centuries older than you! I was in the Time War before you were evven out of your nappies back in the Boeshane Peninsula! Don't you fucking _dare_ tell me that you're trying to protect me. I don't need it. So, what do you _really_ think, Jack?"

"I think he should've died on the _Valiant_," he gritted out. "He slaughtered millions! He got you killed."

"Have you seen me lately? I'm fine," I retorted. "And if it wasn't for him, I'd be on a funeral pyre…Fine, let me ask you this, what happened in 1965?"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," he denied. I took a few more steps forward and backed him into the railing.

"So the names Andrew Staines, Ellen Hunt, and Michael Sanders mean Jack and shit to you? No pun intended," I sneered. "Or how about Clement McDonald? How about him? Huh? The 456 ring any bells for you yet, _Jack_? You may think no one knew, but I did. Clement McDonald did, and he has the emotional and physical scars for it. So tell me then that you're so much better than Koschei."

He gaped at me in shock, then after a few second composed himself. "You know what? I don't have to listen to this," he huffed and made his way to the hallway. But before he left the control room, he turned back to glare at me. "Guardian, you are a fucking prick."

And then he left.

I sighed and sat on the jump seat with Koschei.

"That went swimmingly," Koschei's voice dripping with sarcasm.

I glared at the shorthaired brunette. "Shut up, Shay. Before I make you."

He put his hands up in a placating manner.

"I'm just saying that _could_ have gone better," said Capt. Obvious

I shook my head in exasperation. "I'm seriously regretting taking that bullet for you now," I complained.

* * *

**Even that burn hurt me. I think I need aloe vera... Anyway please R&R when you can. It means a lot.**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	14. Apologies and Decorative Vegetables

**A/N Hello peoples of Earth, or if you aren't well hello to you too. Anyway, I've been out of school so these come out faster now. Yay for summer break! Enjoy this or not. But it kind of defeats the purpose of why you're reading this. I have no betas, so mistakes are unfortunately my own.**

_'Italics'- Telepathic conv._

_Italics- Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: Still a no on that front. Depressing really.**

* * *

I raised my hand to knock on the door and took a deep breath. But just as I was about to knock, he opened the door.

I smiled hesitantly. "Hi, Jack."

He returned the smile. "Hey, Guardian. I was just about to come look for you."

"Oh, well here I am!" I cheered awkwardly but continued softly. "Can I come in?"

He gestured for me to take a seat on the sofa next to his bed and closed the door behind him. He took a seat next me. "So what can I do you for?"

I sighed. "I'm here to apologize for my behavior before. I shouldn't have said those things. I—"

"No, no, no! I should be the one apologizing!" Jack interjected. "I was totally out of line. You're way older than me, you can take care of yourself."

"Gee, thanks there, Jack!" I laughed. "What every person wants to hear is how freaking old they are? Really loving the way you build up my self-esteem there!"

He grinned his trademark one. "That's not what I meant!" he laughed, and then he sobered. "Did you know about the 456 because of the show?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

Jack averted his eyes from mine and looked at the coffee table with unseeing eyes.

"Did I do the right thing?" he asked quietly.

I let out a breath. "Honestly Jack? You were working with what you had and unfortunately, that time was a fixed point. You couldn't refuse the 456 because there were serious repercussions and the world would have suffered," I put my hand on his shoulder. "You couldn't call the Doctor for help, because you had to maintain timelines, and all that jazz. I'm sorry, but there was nothing you could have done without causing a implosion the size of Belgium."

At first there was silence then he let out a small laugh. "Thanks. And Belgium? Why Belgium?"

"Blowing a hole in the space/time continuum usually is a size of a small country and Belgium fits the bill," I rattled off automatically.

"You just made that up didn't you?" he smirked at me.

"Yeah," I smiled sheepishly. "Saying that a 'paradox goes boom!' doesn't exactly lend itself to be a scientifically sound description."

He laughed and I with him. We had a brief confortable silence, and then I spoke up again.

"So are we cool?" I asked him.

"Yeah we're cool," he replied with a smile.

* * *

You know if we had a person taking a picture of our backs as we looked towards Cardiff Bay, we'd totally look like hipsters. But then no one would know what the hell I'm talking about, well other than the Doctor and Jack.

_Hipsters? Why the hell am I thinking about hipsters?_ I thought to myself_._

"Time was, every single one of these people knew your name," Martha mused. "Now they've all forgotten you."

"Good," the Doctor nodded.

"Back to work," Jack ducked down under the railing to the other side.

"I really don't mind, though," the Doctor protested. "Come with me."

"I had plenty of time to think that past year, the Year That Never Was," he replied. "And I kept thinking about that team of mine. Like you said, Doctor, responsibility."

"Defending the Earth. Can't argue with that," the Doctor smiled and moved to sonic the vortex manipulator.

"Hey, I need that!" Jack cried.

"I can't have you walking around with a time-travelling teleport," he sonics the manipulator. "You could go anywhere—twice. The second time to apologize."

"And what about me? Can you fix that, Guardian?" he turned to me. "Will I ever be able to die?"

I smiled wanly. "Sorry, Jack. There's nothing I can do. You are a fixed point in time and well, 'Paradox goes BOOM!' You really are an impossible thing, Jack."

"Right, 'Paradox goes BOOM!' And you know I've been called that before," Jack laughed and starts to leave but turns back to salute. "Sirs. Ma'am," tries to leave again, but he stops. "But I keep wondering…What about aging? 'Cause I can't die but I keep getting older. The odd little grey hair, you know? What happens if I live for a million years?"

"I really don't know," the Doctor laughed.

"Okay, vanity. Sorry. Yeah, can't help it. Used to be a poster boy when I was a kid back on the Boeshane Peninsula," he looked wistful. "Tiny little place. I was the first one ever to be signed up for the Time Agency. They were so proud of me. The Face of Boe they called me," the Doctor and Martha looked stunned. "Hmm, I'll see you."

He ran across the Plass.

"Can't be," Martha breathed.

"He is," I smirked.

They both look at me gaping while Koschei just looks confused. "What are you talking about?"

"He's the Face of Boe," I said again.

"No way! Is he really?" the Doctor asked. I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.

"Yeah. But I don't think he just becomes a giant head and that's not a euphemism," I smiled. "I mean he is a fixed point, so maybe it was just a disguise so you wouldn't recognize him."

"But still, _THE _Face of Boe…" the Doctor trailed and shook his head. And then turned to me. "So what about you?"

"What about me?" I asked.

"Do you want to travel with me?" he asked.

"I-I don't think I should, as much as I would love to—" I muttered.

"Come on," the Doctor insisted. "One trip."

"That's what you said to Martha," I argued. "And look what happened!"

"I promise," the Doctor said. "Just the one."

I sighed and turned to Koschei. "What do you think?"

"One trip," he smiled.

"Yeah, okay. One trip," I grumbled. "But _only_ one trip."

* * *

Koschei stayed inside the TARDIS with the Doctor, while Martha and I went into her parent's house.

Francine ran up to me for a hug. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"I am too!" I laughed a little. I pulled away slightly. "Are you going to be okay?"

"With my family? We will be," she smiled.

"Well, I'm glad," I started towards the door. "I better get back to the kids before they break something… Most likely a planet," I turned to Martha. "Coming?"

"I'll see you in the TARDIS, yeah?" Martha responded.

I nodded.

* * *

The Doctor was sitting on the jump seat when Martha came in with a solemn mood, while Koschei and I just stood to the side

"Right then!" he stood up, "Off we go! The open road! There is a burst of star fire right now over the coast of Meta Sigmafolio. Oh, the sky is like oil on water. Fancy a look? Or…back in time. We could…I don't know, Charles II? Henry VIII? I know! What about Agatha Christie? I'd love to meet Agatha Christie! I bet she's brilliant!" his smile faded when he saw she wasn't smiling, and realized why, "Okay."

"I just can't," Martha tried to explain.

"Yeah."

"Spent all these years training to be a doctor. Now I've got people to look after. They saw half the planet slaughtered and they're devastated. I can't leave them."

I felt Koschei wince at that statement, but didn't comment.

"Of course not," he smiled, "Thank you," he hugged her tightly, "Martha Jones, you saved the world."

'_This is going to get awkward,'_ I told Koschei.

'_What do you mean?'_ he asked puzzled.

'_Just watch,'_ I smirked.

"Right, then," Martha kisses the Doctor on the cheek quickly and leaves the TARDIS but comes back. "'Cause the thing is, it's like my friend Vicky, she lived with this bloke, student housing, there were five of them, packed in, and this bloke was called Sean. And she loved him, she did. She completely adored him. Spent all day talking about him."

'_No way,'_ Koschei breathed. _'Seriously?'_

'_Oh it gets worse,'_ I warned and we turned back to the conversation.

"Yes!" The Doctor straightened himself up and crossed his arms. "'Cause he never looked at her twice. I mean, he liked her, but that was it. And she wasted years pining after him, years of her life, 'cause when he was around, she never looked at anyone else. And I told her, I always said to her, time and time again, I said: Get out. So this is _me_ getting out."

'_Was it me or was that slightly painful to watch?'_ Koschei commented drily.

'_Yeah, that hurt a bit,'_ I answered not knowing Martha had switched gears to me.

"And you!" Martha pointed towards me.

I raised a brow. "Um, sorry, what?" I asked confused.

"Thank you for helping my mum," she crossed over to where I was and pulled me into a searing kiss. I had a momentary lapse of synapse activity, which made the dazed look on my face more prominent. "Hello."

"Hi," I squeaked with a laugh. "That was—um—nice. Surprising, but nice," I then finally had a brain wave. "Oh that's why you blushed!"

Martha just shook her head and turned her attention to Koschei. "You better take good care of them," he nodded. Martha then surprised us by offering him her hand. "I may not forgive you yet, but at least we can begin with a handshake."

Smiling gently, Koschei took her hand and they shook. "I hope that one day we can be friends, Martha."

Martha gave him a small smile. "We'll see." Then she walked out of the TARDIS.

* * *

The Doctor began flipping a few switches and a few levers when suddenly, the TARDIS began to shake violently and the alarms were blaring. Sending us to floor.

"What the hell did you do?" I shouted over the noise and managed to get to the controls to diagnose the problem while Koschei hung on for dear life.

"Nothing I swear!" the Doctor shouted back. "Stop that! Stop it!" Things finally began to settle. "What was that all about, eh?" he knocked on the time rotor. "Eh?" he began to walk around the console. "What your problem?"

"Right, just settle down now," the Fifth Doctor said, seeming to come out of nowhere.

'_Shit,'_ I projected to Koschei. He looked at me with concern then his eyes widen when he had looked at the Fifth Doctor.

'_What?'_ he exclaimed.

'_I know,'_ I answered.

We both watched in surprise and shock as the two bumped into each other as both were working at the console.

"Excuse me," Ten said.

"So sorry," Five apologized.

They both fiddle with console for a moment before finally noticing each other.

"What?" Ten said.

"What?" Five said.

"What?" Ten said.

"Holy shit!" I muttered to myself but Koschei heard and nodded in agreement.

* * *

'_Guardian and Koschei,'_ Ten called out. _'Block out your minds. He can't know that you two are Time Lords.'_

I frowned. _'Why?'_

'_Because when this happened,'_ Ten said this while Five kept looking at him, not seeming to have noticed Koschei or me. _'My fifth regeneration didn't know that both you were future regenerations of my best friends but just future companions. Even though, as Five, I watched you, Guardian, move around the console like a Time Lord.'_

'_So you're saying that your fifth regeneration was a bit thick?'_ I teased and Koschei snickered.

'_Oi! That's not funny!'_ he scolded. _'Now hurry!'_

'_Spoilsport,'_ I muttered. I then turned a knob to put a sort of perception filter on Koschei and I. And we blocked out everything about being Time Lords. So now, we would seem like normal humans.

"Who are you?" Five asked.

"Oh brilliant!" Ten grinned. "I mean, totally wrong, big emergency, universe goes bang in five minutes but… brilliant!"

"What do you mean the universe goes bang in five minutes?" Koschei asked with a scowl. "What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" he insisted.

"Did you forget to put up the shields again?" I asked with a raised brow.

He winced visibly. "I—I—" Ten stuttered.

"That's what I thought," I sighed.

"I'm the Doctor," Five said. "Who are you?" he then looked at Koschei and I. "And who are _they_?"

"Yes you are!" Ten grinned widen even more gaining Five's attention. "You are the Doctor."

"Yes, I am," Five gritted out. "I'm the Doctor."

"You know you probably just answer the man's questions if I were you," I warned, seeing Five's neck veins pop out.

Five gave me a small tight smile. "Thank you." He then turned to Ten, frowning a bit. "Is there something wrong with you?"

'_Does a bear shit in the woods?'_ I asked Koschei who stifled a laugh and punched my shoulder playfully.

"Oh there it goes! The frown-y face, I remember that one!" said Ten. He grabbed his counterpart's face with both hands and squished his cheeks. "Mind you, bit saggier than it ought to be, hair's a bit grayer. That's because of me, though, the two of us together has shorted out the time differential, should all snap back in place when we get you back home. Be able to close that coat again. But never mind that! Look at you! The hat, the coat, the cricket-y cricket stuff the… stick of celery, yeah. Brave choice celery, but fair play to you—not a lot of men can carry off a decorative vegetable."

"Seriously, I'd stop with the rambling. He's probably annoyed as it is," I said.

"Yes," Five nodded before snapping at Ten. "Shut up!" Five's outburst definitely shut Ten's mouth. "There is something wrong with _my_ TARDIS and I've got to do something about it very, very quickly, and it would help, it _really_ would help, if there wasn't a skinny idiot ranting in my face about everything that happens to be in front of him!"

"Oh, okay. Um, sorry. Doctor," Ten said sheepishly.

"Thank you," Five said turning and putting his hat down on the console.

"Need any help there, Doctor?" I asked.

His shoulders relaxed a little and gave a small smile. "No, but thank you. Oh and what's your name?"

"James," I lied and held out my hand. "James Latimer."

Five shook it. "Nice to meet you," he looked at Koschei. "And you?"

"Harold Latimer," Koschei said. "James is my husband."

'_I'm what-now?'_ I exclaimed.

'_Relax. Just go with it,'_ he reassured. "Isn't that right, James?"

I sighed. "Why yes, _Harry_."

Five gave us a soft, almost fatherly smile. Weird seeing as both Koschei and I older than he is.

Five turned and glared at Ten. "What have you done to my TARDIS? You've changed the desktop theme… what is this one then, coral?"

"Well…"

"It's worse than leopard skin!"

"Leopard skin?" I asked.

"It was a phase. The seventh one, I think," Ten said.

"Right, doesn't sound creepy at all…" I shook my head.

An alarm sounded.

"That's an alert. Level five," Five said as fiddled around with the controls.

"Indicates a temporal collision," I diagnosed from the readings on the controls. Five was just staring at me in surprise, or is that shock? "Its like two TARDISes have merged, but there's definitely one TARDIS present."

"Where did you learn that?"

"A close friend of mine taught me," I smirked. "The Guardian. Do you know him?"

Koschei just gave me a deadpanned look while Ten shook his head.

"Looks like two tie zones at war in the heart of the TARDIS," Ten added. "That's a paradox. Could blow a hole in the space/time continuum the size of…" he nonchalantly pushed the monitor on the console around for Five to look at.

"… The exact size of Belgium," Five finished. "That's a bit undramatic, isn't? Belgium?'

"What? Did you want a man who's really a bomb with memories, who was made by the Daleks and his detonation is the exact size of France during the height of the London Blitz while were in the Cabinet War Rooms?" I rattled off all in one breath and then turned to Ten. "I really need to stop hanging around you."

"Well, that _would_ be dramatic," Five shrugged.

Ten rolled his eyes and then pulled out his sonic screwdriver. "Need this?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Oh no, of course, you mostly went hands free didn't you? It's like…" Ten put the screwdriver away and looked back at Five. "'Hey, I'm the Doctor, I can save the universe with a kettle and some string, and look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable!"

"You really _are_ rude," Koschei commented.

"Am not!" Both Doctors exclaimed.

"He was talking about that one," I said pointing to Ten.

"Oi!" Ten pouted.

"That's so not going to work me," Koschei grinned.

Five approached Ten much more closely. "Who are you?"

"Take a look," Ten said.

"Oh…" Five said. "Oh no…"

"Oh yes!" Ten said.

"You're…" Five breathed. "Oh no, you're…"

"Here it comes," Ten grinned, nodding. "Yep! Yep I am."

"A fan!" Five spat. He turned to the console as it began beeping again.

I shook my head. "It's hard to believe you have fans. Considering my new nickname for you is 'Get off our planet!' or the ever popular 'Execute him!'"

"Then what are you?" Five asked.

"I was subjected to the Imperius Curse," I said with a straight face. "I have no idea who I am anymore."

Five's eyes widen. "Really?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "Just a companion to this doofus," I pointed to Ten.

"Oi!" Ten exclaimed. "I am not a doofus!"

"Really? Had me fooled there," Koschei replied sarcastically.

"Level ten now!" Five said as he read it out on the scanner. "Two minutes to Belgium! It would help if people would focus!"

"But really, I'm you!" Ten insisted.

"Okay, you're my biggest fan. Look, it's perfectly understandable. I go zooming around space and time, saving planets, fighting monsters and being, well, let's be honest, pretty sort of marvelous..."

'_Someone's full of themselves,'_ I commented drily. _'No wonder he has an ego the size of a planet.'_

'_Tell me about,'_ Koschei said. _'And I tried to conquer the universe and make new Time Lords.'_

"…And naturally every now and then people notice me… Start up their little groups. That LINDA lot…" Five looked at Ten. "Are you one of them? How did you get in here?" He brandished a finger at him. "Can't have you lot knowing where I live."

"Listen to me, I'm you! I'm you with a new face." He slapped his own cheeks. "Check out this bone structure Doctor, because one day, you're going to be shaving it."

A bell sounded.

"The Cloister Bell," Five said.

"Yep, right on time. That's our cue," Ten said while I to work on the console, as did both Doctors.

"In less than a minute we're going to detonate a black hole strong enough to swallow the entire universe!" Five exclaimed.

Ten paused what he was doing.

"His fault actually, Doctor," I pointed to Ten. "Kind of air-headed sometimes."

"Hey!" Ten punched my shoulder lightly. "I was rebuilding the TARDIS; forgot to put the shields back up. Your TARDIS and my TARDIS... Well the same TARDIS, different points in its own time stream collided and, oops, there you go, end of the universe, butterfingers. But don't worry, I know exactly how this all works out. Venting the thermal buffer, flooring the Helmic regulator, and just to finish off..." Ten moved away for me to take over.

I began typing on the keypad. "Lets fry those Zeiton crystals."

Five made a move to stop me, but Ten intercepted him and Five glared at Ten. "You'll blow up the TARDIS."

"It's the only way out," Ten said.

"Who told you that?" Five asked.

"You told me that and you watched James do what he's doing!" Ten grinned manically. I pulled the last lever and the screen went white. The TARDIS no longer on the verge of total event collapse. _So that's something._

"Supernova and black hole at the exact same instant." Five said.

"Explosion cancels out implosion." Ten said.

"Matter stays constant." Five said.

Ten looked at Five. "Brilliant!"

"Far too brilliant." Five said accusingly, but light. "I've never met anyone else who could fly the TARDIS like that."

"Well, there is the Guardian," Ten proposed with a smirk. "He was the best in the Academy. Even better than Fred."

"But don't tell him that," Five said conspiratorially.

I just chuckled along with Koschei.

"You didn't have time to work all that out, even I couldn't do it," Five said.

"I didn't work it out," Ten said stopping. "_I_ didn't have to."

"You remembered," Five said.

"Because _you_ will remember," Ten said.

"You remembered being me," Five said, a smile began forming. "Watching you and James doing that," he looked at the console before looking back at Ten and me.

"You already knew what to do because I watched you two do it."

"Wibbley wobbley…" Ten said.

Five and Ten said. "Timey whimey!"

Ten went for a high five, but only found air. So I finished the high five, Ten grinned at me and shook his head.

Another alarm sounded.

"The TARDISes are separating," I concluded.

"Sorry, Doctor, time's up, back to long ago..." Ten looked at Five. "Where are you now? Nyssa and Tegan. Cybermen and Mara. Time Lords in funny hats and the Master? Oh he just showed up again," he quickly glanced at Koschei before looking back at Five. "Same as ever."

"Oh no. Really?" Five asked. "Does he still have that rubbish beard?"

"No…No beard this time," I answered. "Well, a wife."

'_Oi!'_ Koschei scolded. _'Shut it.'_

'_Make me,'_ I retorted with coy smile.

"Later," he whispered, his voice slightly husky.

"Promises, promises," I whispered in his ear.

Ten cleared his throat. And we both blushed looking back at the scene. Five began to fade.

"Oh, I seem to be off. What can I say? Thank you…Doctor. James. Harold," Five smiled at us.

"Thank _you_," Ten said.

"I'm very welcome," Five smiled. He then looked at me. "You know, you remind me of the Guardian," I just chuckled. He then faded away completely, but Ten flipped a switch and brought Five back.

Ten picked up Five's hat from the console and handed it to Five.

"You know…" Ten said. "I loved being you. Back when I first started, at the very beginning, I was always trying to be old and grumpy and important, like you do when you're young. And then I was you… And it was all dashing about and playing cricket and my voice going all squeaky when I shouted…"

"It still does!" I laughed. "Though it happens when you're excited, surprised, shocked, irritated, playful—"

"Okay I get it!" Ten rolled his eyes. "I got that from you," Five smiled, putting the hat on. "Oh!" Ten put his foot on the console. Five looked at Ten's shoes. "And the trainers and…" Ten reached in his pocket and took out his glasses and put them on. "Snap! 'Cause you know what, Doctor? You were _my_ Doctor."

Five smiled fondly at his future self, tipping his hat. "To days to come."

"All my love to long ago." Ten said.

Five finally faded away.

"That celery, though," I teased.

"Better than that ginormous scarf he had on with his fourth incarnation," Koschei laughed.

"Oi! You two—!" Ten scolded but Five's voice drowned him out. "Oh, Doctor, remember to put your shields up."

Ten pressed a button and all we heard was a blast of a ship's horn just as we were sent flying up then to the grill. A large ship was protruding from one of the sides of the TARDIS.

"What?" the Doctor exclaimed.

I coughed a few dust particles. "Well, that's something you don't see everyday."

"What the hell just happened?!" Koschei shouted.

I moved forwards to get a better look at the life preserver, which really, wouldn't make any lick of sense since it's an intergalactic cruise liner. But really, who ever said you apply logic to Doctor Who?

It read: **S.S. Titanic**

"What?!" the Doctor and Koschei both exclaimed.

This is getting to be a long day.

* * *

**What do you guys think? R&R, lurk, or have a few cookies. Though not necessarily in that order.**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


	15. Trouble Magnets: Wanted Dead or Alive

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while after I last posted. I was just having some of my own personal issues, hopefully I will be able to update more regularly. So during my time writing this chapter, it kind of took a life of its own and is slightly crackfic-y. And Deadpool's running commentary from the boxes from the comics.**

(Words)~ The White Comment Box

[Words]~ The Yellow Comment Box

**Disclaimer: I don't own Deapool, Harry Potter or Doctor Who. I'm just a taco eating, Muggle with an obsession with time-travel.**

* * *

I sighed for like the one-hundredth time in the past ten minutes. We're in a jail cell. Again. Although, this time we were separated because we were caught the first time trying to escape. Wearing white after Labor Day is taken seriously around here and I was wearing a white V-neck tee along with black fitted jeans.

You know how the Doctor said it would only be one trip? Well, it's become extended in that we've been travelling with the Doctor for a month now. I'm not exactly a happy camper to say the least, but I couldn't tell the poor bastard: 'No.'

Sure, during that time on the intergalactic cruise liner, I did manage to save the Van Hoffs, Bannakaffallatta, and Astrid. So I guess that's a plus.

Suddenly a bright light flashes within the cell. I blink a couple times, because well…I think I'm having a psychotic episode. Last time I checked he only did planet Earth stuff.

_Good thing I read some of his comics back in the other universe. _I thought. _Although being one of his best buds in this one is weird. I still don't know why he likes me._

In the middle of the room, was the Merc with the Mouth, the Assassin with a Plan, Mithras, Jack, Thom Cruz, Wade T. Wilson also known as: Deadpool, who dressed in the red and black tights he famously wore.

"Wade?" I asked warily.

"Yeah? What's it to ya?" Wade crossed his arms.

"That would be the Guardian," I smiled standing.

He ran at me full pelt tackling me to the ground. "Is it really you? What's the password?"

(Where the hell has that asshat been?)

[GUARDIAN!]

"Wade, the chimichangas and burritos you made still gives me a hearts burn," I laughed. He pulled me up and we sat on the bench. "And hey guys in Wade's head."

(I'm still mad at him.)

[Hi, Guardian. *waves* Aww, come on. There's got to be a reason why.]

(Nope. Still mad.)

"The white box is happy to see you. The yellow one, not so much," he explained. "_I'm_ happy to see you. What happened? You changed your face again."

"A war, Wade. The biggest war the universe has ever encountered and will encounter," I sighed.

[See, what I tell ya?]

(Still doesn't explain why he just left and didn't tell us.]

I continued. "I'm one of the three of my kind that are left. And I barely came back to this universe after 19 years. So kind of hard to communicate."

[Oh…]

"I think the yellow box changed his mind."

I chuckled. "Anyway, what brings you to Sireen? No, wait lemme guess, a hit job?"

"How did you know?" he exclaimed.

I face-palmed. Sometimes he's brilliant then he pulls this out of ass. "Really, Wade? Really?"

He laughed. "Oh yeah, huh."

(Dumbass.)

[I sometimes wonder where his brain goes.]

(Everywhere. I mean he's been shot there too many times to count.)

"Hey!" Wade exclaimed. "I'm not dumb!"

(Could've fooled us.)

[Probably not.]

"Are you done, Wade?"

He nodded and so did the other two in his head.

"So who is it?" I sighed.

He took out a photo and handed it to me. It was the Doctor, well his current incarnation.

"I'm looking for him," he responded.

I groaned. "Oh. Dammit."

"What? What's wrong?"

"He's here."

"Huh? Where?" he asked looking around my cell.

I shook my head. "Not here per se… But in the building."

"Okay, that at least narrows it down," he stood and was about to take off again.

"Wait!" I shouted. "You can't."

"Why not?" Wade whined.

"He's one of the last three of my kind," I argued. "And he's a childhood best friend, _still is_."

"Aww, I thought _I_ was one of your best buds?" he pouted, I think. I can't tell with the mask. "And who the hell is that?" pointing to the metaphorical fourth wall.

"You can't exactly be a best friend, 'coz you killing people for a living isn't really conducive for a friendship. More than anything, you kind of scare the bejeesus out of me," I replied. My face scrunched up in confusion. "What are you talking about, Wade?" I asked. "There's no one there."

"No, no. The one writing this shit down," Deadpool explained. "She's okay looking. Not like Siryn."

**The Author: I resent that.**

I blinked. There was a person typing everything down. Late teens to early twenties. Maybe she was of Asian descent, Cambodian? Thai? Indonesian? Filipino?

_So Wade isn't that crazy after all. I probably shouldn't tell Koschei or the Doctor about this though. They'd probably try and get the author to do stop all the bad things from happening. Which really, is another paradox in and of itself._

The author was confused.

**The Author: How is this even freaking possible? Deadpool's a fictional character and the Guardian is my original character. And why are you two breaking the fourth wall**_?_

"Don't you read my comics?" Deadpool answered. "That's just rude. And there's nothing else to do."

"What he said," I shrugged. "Hey, who do I actually marry or whatever the case may be, Koschei or River?" I asked.

**The Author: *****sighs***** Of course I read your comics, why else would you be here? And Guardian, I can't tell you. That would spoil a few things and might create a paradox in your universe.**

"Aww, come on!" I pleaded. "Just one hint."

**The Author: *****shakes her head***** Still can't. Sorry. You'll just have to wait and see. Before I hide, do you need anything else?**

"Can you bring us to the TARDIS?" I asked.

**The Author: That's easy. Although, is Wade coming?**

I turned to Wade. "If I let you tag along, you can't kill the Doctor."

"But…"

"No."

"Come on. Just a beheading."

"He would die, Wade. So no."

"How 'bout I slit his throat?"

"Still a no. Plus kind of messy."

"Just a slight gash."

"NO!"

"Fine. Whatever. Party pooper," he grumbled crossing his arms.

**The Author: By the way, who put the Doctor's head on a bounty?**

"I thought you knew?" Wade asked.

**The Author: Of course I know. It's just the Guardian never bothered to ask and I thought the readers would like to know.**

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "I was kind of wrapping my mind around breaking the fourth wall concept."

**The Author: *****puts hands in the air in a placating manner* No need to bite my head off, just the messenger.**

"It was the Sontarans," Wade responded. "Weird potato looking people."

[I felt the need to rearrange their faces and check their asses for Hasbro.]

Wade laughed while I eyed him warily and just shook my head.

(I want chips, like what the Guardian says and the rest of Great Britain.)

[Why do all aliens sound British?]

(I've always wondered that too.)

"Them again?!" I groaned. "Why can't they just give up?"

**The Author: They're Sontarans. They never give up. Annoying trait, really. *shrugs* Anyway, you guys ready?**

"As ready as I'll be," I breathed.

"YUP!" Wade said jumping up and down.

(Hurry up already. I'm starving.)

[YESH!]

So the author plucked all our protagonists and sent them into the TARDIS. Gently.

"What the—?" Koschei exclaimed.

The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver checking if he was seeing things.

"That was the most pleasant transport I've ever encountered," I commented drily.

"I know, right?" Wade laughed and smiled. But no one could tell, because his face was under a mask. "You know that description was pointless," he said to the author.

**The Author: *shrugs* I know. I really should get going…**

[Wait!]

**The Author: *in an exasperated tone* What?**

[Can we get chimichangas, burritos, and tacos?]

**The Author: *in an incredulous tone* You're in a space and time machine. You can go to a Mexican restaurant whenever and wherever you'd like. Well, the Doctor willing, I suppose.**

(Still starving.)

[So is that a yes or a no?]

**The Author: *sighs* There.**

"Thanks!" Deadpool said hunkering down on said foodstuffs.

[OMG ROFLMAO TTLY BRB]

(You're just using random letters now.)

[No. LOL. JK. NVM. Okay, going to stop now.]

**The Author: Can I go **_**now**_**? I have other things to do. Oh and, only Deadpool can do this. Initiating the breakage of said fourth wall, I mean.**

"Bye!" Wade said muffled by the burritos he was inhaling.

"Thanks for the assistance," I said.

**The Author: Right…*she grumbles how she isn't getting paid enough for this kind of stuff. Oh right, I don't get paid at all* Anyway, see you guys on the flip side. *slams fourth wall door shut***

"Who was that?" the Doctor asked. Then turned to Wade. "Who are you?"

I step in between them. "Koschei and Doctor, meet Wade Wilson also known as Deadpool. Wade meet the Doctor and Koschei. And _that_ was a just a friend who gave us the lift here."

"A friend? What kind of friend has the power to pluck all of us and drop us into the TARDIS without so much as a fuss?" the Doctor asked suspiciously.

"A supernatural being. She's called the Author. And that's all I can say without having her wrath rain down," I said with a straight face. "Anyway, Wade put your weapons in your room."

"Mah rhoo? Ah 've a rhoo?" he asked a mouth full of chimichangas and how he managed to say it with awe, I'll never know.

I sighed. "Yes, three lefts, a right, then another left," I directed. And then Deadpool left with his smorgasbord of Mexican entrees.

"You understood him?" Koschei asked incredulously.

"Unfortunately, yes," I shook my head.

"And what's with the tights?"

"It's just his thing."

"His thing?" the Doctor asked raising a brow.

"Guys, I'm really not comfortable answering these questions," I sighed. "If he comes clean, and not the twisted version of it, and says it's okay for me to answer then I'll do it. Until then, I can only answer in vagaries," I rubbed my temples. "Doctor, when I get back, can you set the coordinates to Cardiff?"

He looked at me stunned with his perfected puppy dog expression. "Oh. Okay," he said softly. Great, now I'm git now. But I ignored it to go to Wade's room.

* * *

I knocked on Wade's door. It slid open and I was greeted with a cacophony of gunfire, explosions, 'Exterminate!', 'Delete!', laughing and shouts of many expletives.

"Wade?" I shouted over the noise.

"Over here!" he called somewhere over to my right. It was slightly obscured by a very imposing forest.

As I crossed through, the sight was very peculiar to say the least.

"Need help?" I asked leaning on a tree while he slashed and diced a Cyberman, though another came from behind.

He grunted. "Nope, I'm fine," he said cheerily. "Is that the best you got?!" he said goading a Silurian. To which said creature lunged at him, driving his own katana through his abdomen.

I winced. "Are you sure?" I asked, though I really didn't want to help. Selfish, I know.

Wade groaned from the pain. "Seriously, I'm good," he reassured.

I walked a little closer. "It doesn't look like it," I assessed. "Simulation, pause!" I commanded and everything went stock-still.

Wade breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks," he took a deep breath and the wounds that were visible were soon closing, healing.

I chuckled. "Anytime. I don't suppose you're game for a little sparring session?"

Wade chuckled. "Do I have a choice?" he asked wryly.

"No," I smiled as I undressed only down to my trousers. "Which fighting style?"

"The Praying Mantis?" he suggested.

I nodded and grinned viciously.

"You're starting to scare me," Wade commented.

I lunged forward, catching him off-guard with direct hit to the solar plexus.

He grunted and stumbled back slightly. "You haven't changed, Guardian." Wade and I exchanged movement but none hit their intended target. It felt like a dance, well a very painful dance if done improperly.

I leered playfully. "I think I have, Wade," I looked into the madman's eyes. "Why were you looking for me?"

"After we left with angry words, I—I never felt so alone," Deadpool panted and finally landed a blow on my kidney. "You were the only person who knew me inside and out. That scared me, so I did what I do best: push people away."

I gritted my teeth and nodded while I landed blow to his jaw. "Do you—do you still want to travel with us?" I grunted.

He massaged his jaw and looked at me with wide eyes. "I thought I did. B-but after looking for you so long, and here you are, I don't think I can ever go back to that. I think I have to find it myself," he smirked. "Seriously, Author?"

We both paused for a bit.

The author was confused… again. _They really needed to stop breaking the fourth wall. It's there for a goddamn reason._

**The Author: Who? Me?**

"Yes!" Deadpool exclaimed. "Who the hell else answers to the name 'The Author'?"

"A Time Lord I knew back in the Academy," I butted in. "He loved books. And when I say loved, I mean _loved_ books."

**The Author: What?! Ew! Gross! Anyway, what did I do now?**

"The Guardian can't see me smirk through the mask," Deadpool pointed out.

(That was pretty stupid.)

[Not as stupid as the time 'Pool put a stick of dynamite up his ass to see how it would be like to die that way.]

**The Author: So how did blowing up posteriors go?**

(Messy and smelly.)

"Who blew up their butt?" I asked confused by the seemingly one-sided conversation.

**The Author: Deadpool.**

"Why do I even have to ask?" I mused.

**The Author: Benefit of the doubt?**

"Hey!" Deadpool cried in indignation. "I'm right here."

"We know," everyone said.

He huffed. The Author spoke up first.

**The Author: Is that it or do you need other stuff?**

"Can I get a lift to Sontar?" Deadpool asked.

**The Author: Yeah, sure.**

"Before you go Wade," I said.

He began strapping back his stuff. "…Yeah?"

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"Can you refer any other bounties on the Doctor to me?"

He blinked. "I'll try. Do you want me to—" I interjected.

"No. I'd rather not have them go after you when you have enough on your platter. I mean isn't T-Ray still on your ass?"

He shook his head in bemusement and chuckled. "It's weird for you to know all that stuff about me."

I smiled. "You would have laughed the way my TARDIS hacked through the many government files. They were too busy trying to triangulate the point of origin. Too bad I was in the Time Vortex, so it threw even Tony Stark for a loop."

**The Author: Really?**

"I thought you knew everything?" I asked.

**The Author: You have your own life. I may have created it, but I don't dictate every single thing.**

"What?" Deadpool asked. "That didn't make any sense whatsoever. And I am the epitome of Not-Making-Any-Sense-Whatsoever."

[I agree. And we're part of Wade's shattered psyche.]

(That's slightly disturbing on your part.)

**The Author: *rolls eyes* There are things that the Guardian's done that may be different from my perspective. I mean I'm talking to fictional characters. That, or I'm in the funny farm.**

"I vote loony bin," I said cheekily.

**The Author: Thanks for the vote of confidence. I feel **_**so much better**_**.**

"I should go before I talk myself out of it," Deadpool said resignedly.

[I wouldn't have. Let's go kick some Potato butt!]

(When we get back to Earth, we are soooo getting some carne asada fries.)

"Find me when you need someone, Wade," I plead with him. "When not 'if,' Wade."

He chuckles softly. "Of course."

**The Author: Right. Potato people it is. *Atron particles and Huon energy crackle all around Deadpool***

Deadpool disappears in a flash of lightning.

I sighed. "Is going to be alright?" I ask.

**The Author: He's Deadpool. He's never all right, but he'll get through it one way or another.**

"Thanks for the honesty," I said sincerely.

**The Author: *nods and disappears again***

"Right, now onto breaking a Time Lord's hearts into a million pieces," I said to no one in particular and began my trek back to the main control room.

* * *

'_Please be gentle with him,'_ the TARDIS said startling me.

"Rassilon above!" I breathed. "People need to stop startling me!"

The annoying sentient ship laughed, but sobered. _'Are you?'_

"And of course I will!" I exclaimed. "It's not like I get up and think: What should do to hurt the Doctor today? I have to get back to my own time line or else a paradox occurs."

She sighed tiredly. _'I know, it just hurts him. I can't see him that way.'_

"I know," I agreed. "Would it be too much to ask if you could bring him to Donna right after he leaves?"

Amusement tickled in her voice. _'You always try to take care of him. Your name really does suit you.'_

I laughed. "I'm taking that as a compliment."

I showered and changed into a fitted light grey dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows, a skinny silver tie, a grey on the front and black silk on back waistcoat, black fitted slacks and leather belt, and black patent leather low-cut Chucks.

* * *

I finally made it into the control room and the atmosphere had dropped to a very visible tension.

"Right," I announced. "Off to Cardiff?"

Both heads snapped to mine one of apprehension and the other of loneliness.

"Are you sure you want to go?" the Doctor asked not leaving his current position.

I gave him a sad smile as I crossed over to him.

"You'll see us again," I reasoned and put my arm over his shoulders.

"And then you'll probably be sick of us then!" Koschei nudged the Doctor with his shoulders.

The Doctor gave us a weak smile and swallowed thickly. "Yeah," then he typed in the coordinates and began to pilot the TARDIS through the Vortex.

'_Why didn't the future Doctor recognize me?'_ I asked the TARDIS, it's been bugging me.

'_Because I repressed—will repress—repressing his memories of you two,'_ TARDIS said bluntly.

'_You'll do that after you leave for Donna?'_ I asked for confirmation.

'_Yes,'_ she replied sadly.

The TARDIS then landed with a jolt. "Here we are. Cardiff, three hours since we left," the Doctor announced. But as we were about to make way for the door, a ding caught our attention on the console.

"Was it just me or did that sound like a happy noise?" Koschei asked.

I shrugged and moved to sound. A newly redesigned sonic/laser screwdriver rose from a hole in the panel. I blinked.

I turned to the Doctor. "Is that yours?"

He pulled his sonic device. "Nope, still in working order. I think that's yours."

I looked at Koschei and he gave me an encouraging smile. I hesitantly wrapped my left hand around it, then a sharp prick to forefinger causing me to drop said object. I popped my finger into my mouth, tasting the copper tang.

"Sadist," I growled to the ceiling. Both of my companions chuckled, Koschei picked up the angry device.

"Hmmm…A few key isomorphic controls," he said examining it before handing the screwdriver back to me and smirked. "She has a cruel sense of humor."

"I know," I snapped snatching it from his hands and stuffing it into my right front pocket. I pulled finger out of my mouth to examine the prick, fortunately the wound has already healed itself.

We both hugged the Doctor, said our goodbyes, and convincing him that Deadpool 'has indeed left the building.' Managing to not fall for the kicked-puppy routine and we walked across the Plass.

* * *

"What happened to the weird guy in tights?" Koschei asked as we walked towards the tourist office.

I shrugged. "He left," I said as we entered the tourist office.

"How does one exactly leave a TARDIS in the Vortex?"

"Carefully."

He sighed and shook his head. "I sometimes wonder where your mind goes when we talk."

"The Australian Outback?" I smirked and looked at a very bewildered Ianto Jones. "Hello!"

He stood up and saluted. "Prime Minister."

I looked back Koschei who half-heartedly saluted back. "Don't they know you killed the President of the United States?"

He smirked. "Technically, _I_ didn't."

"Prat."

"Swot."

"S-sirs?" a tentative voice interjected and we both looked at a now flustered Ianto Jones. "Was there something you needed?"

"I swear I'm getting too old for this," I muttered to myself but Koschei chuckled hearing it as well. I sighed. "We're looking for Captain Harkness. Is he in the Hub right now?"

"B-but—"

"Security Level 1. Codename: Azrael," I enunciated clearly and the panel that hid the entrance into the Hub swooshed open.

Ianto gaped stupidly. "Oh."

Walking into the Hub while multiple clicks signaled that guns were pointed our way. One, in particular, was placed at my temple by Gwen Cooper. Jack smiled as he entered the scene.

"You know, I always wondered who that was," he said striding forward.

I grinned. "I was Queen Vic's top advisor. Good thing she didn't know I was associated with the Doctor. I guess she thought we had a falling out, I never did bother to correct her," I laughed. "I'm still surprised that I'm the Crown's top advisor, even after all these centuries."

"I'm glad the royals liked you enough not to maim or prod you," Jack chuckled darkly.

"Believe me, they tried. _Tried_ being the operative word," I shrugged non-committally. "I think they're still scared of me."

Jack merely shook his head in fondness. "You can stand down, guys."

"But—" Gwen tried to protest along with the others.

"You all heard him," Jack warned. "He's level 1. He can probably take over this branch without so much as a fuss. So let me repeat myself: Stand. Down."

Everyone sagged and put their weapons away and I didn't have an irate Welsh pointing a weapon on my person anymore.

"And to think this was a welcome party," Koschei muttered under breath.

I smirked and shook my head.

* * *

We went into Jack's office and he offered tea pointedly to only me. I just rolled my eyes at his antics.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" He sat on the edge of desk with his arms crossed. "Aren't you guys supposed to be with the Doctor right now?" Jack asked bluntly.

Koschei rolled his eyes. "Charming."

"I need to get back to the future Doctor I was originally travelling with," I elbowed his rib and he grunted looking affronted. "We need to borrow your Vortex Manipulator to get back."

Jack shook his head and smirked. "I don't know about you, but don't you remember the Doctor 'fixed' it?"

Jack handed the manipulator over. "As luck would have it, I have a sonic screwdriver." I started making a few tweaks.

"So…" Koschei began awkwardly.

Jack coughed and smirked amusedly at Koschei's fidgeting.

While inputting the coordinates and date for meeting the Doctor and Donna, the manipulator crackled with Vortex energy and the lights began flashing.

"Bugger!" I swore as the device began malfunctioning.

"Here let me—" Koschei didn't finish that sentence as we were both transported to a cold granite floor with a resounding _THUD!_

* * *

I groaned, falling to my knees and taking deep, cleansing breaths. "Why does this always happen to me?" I muttered. "We've never been this bad at being trouble magnets."

Koschei gave me sharp mental prod. "OW!" I exclaimed.

"Speak for yourself," he gritted his teeth. "I'm never booking with this travel agency!"

Dragonhide boots and black teaching robes swam into focus, which was worn by a familiar scowling man with his arms crossed, who was ten feet away. One Professor Severus Snape.

I groaned again and swore softly to myself. "Right. Sorry for the—um—intrusion. I suppose Albus and Minerva should be coming through those doors?" I said standing up and gesturing to the back of the classroom. I pulled my companion along with me, finally getting his bearings.

The man's scowl turned into confusion and raised a questioning brow.

"Oh, right. New face 'Rus. Well, three faces ago," I explained. "I don't suppose you remember a man with dirty blond and bright hazel eyes, still about my height and build, mid-thirties?" Still no recognition. "Come on… I distinctly remember mentioning regeneration with you."

Confusion turned into realization. "Kai?"

I smiled and waved. "The one and only."

He sent a wordless stinging hex towards me, which I deftly to dodged.

"Well, that was just rude," Koschei commented.

* * *

**There you guys. Hopefully this wasn't too bad and a waste of everyone's time. Please review, it would be greatly appreciated!**

**~HuonParticlesAreHarmless**


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